One of the exercises that I give my clients who come to me asking about how to improve communication in a relationship is called mirroring.
It’s a simple technique that subtly reassures your partner and makes them feel heard. It’s actually very easy. When they’re expressing their point, venting to you, or giving you constructive criticism, all you have to do is echo what they just told you.
“I understand. So what you’re saying is that you’d like my to make a little more time for us to go and do things together.”
This is to make sure that you properly understood what they’re trying to tell you, but it’s also to show them that you’ve truly heard them. Try to use their own words to show them that you’ve taken it in and that their point has come across.
Use their terms to encourage them to share more
It’s important that you try to connect with your partner when you two are communicating. Show him or her that their interests are important to you as well and that you’re willing to work towards goals that would make them happy.
Try to combine your interests and needs with things that they can relate to so that it doesn’t feel selfish or one-sided to them.
If their interests become your interests, you will have common interests. This is one of the keys to developing healthy communication strategies with the person you love.
Better communication in relationships: Letting your speak
This is an interesting concept that has to do with human nature. Your partner needs to be able to feel like you let them talk. They have to be able to express themselves in the relationship.
Not only will this make them feel more at ease, it’s going to be a great way for them to feel understood. Think about it this way, the more a person is able to speak about themselves, the better they feel. It’s like there are more opportunities for them to get their point across and to share. And don’t get me wrong – you have to be genuinely interested!
Then later on, if there is something that you’re hoping that your partner will get on the same page about, it will become infinitely easier if they feel that the idea came from them!
If you can introduce this into your marriage or relationship, you will find that communicating will become much, much easier.