It comes as no news to you that communication in relationships is one of the most important factors when it comes to longevity. Yet so many people struggle with it! There are so many people that don’t know how to talk to their partners about what they need and this ends up undermining the relationship.
Fortunately, you have found this article! I have been a love and relationship coach for many years now and our team at Happily Committed has worked with thousands of people who have come to us for help. We have helped people navigate through the most challenging situations in order to restore the bond and relationship they share with the person they love.
After all of these years as a coach, I have been able to pinpoint some of the most powerful solutions for ensuring that there is healthy communication in relationships and I wanted to write this article for you today to share these tips and tools.
By the time you reach the end of this article, you will know what you can start doing today in order to improve the communication in your relationship! And as always, if you have any questions at all, you can always reach out to us for one on one coaching.
Why communication in relationships can be so challenging
We grow up in a society where we aren’t really taught how to communicate properly in our romantic relationships. If we believe everything that Hollywood and Disney movies teach us, we should just live happily ever after and never have to navigate through any challenges in our relationships, right?
As you know, things aren’t always sunshine and rainbows in relationships and it’s important to learn how to talk with your partner so that you can operate as a team. I often see people making the mistake of just assuming that their partner knows how they feel, and this is something that causes a considerable amount of problems.
I always remind my clients that no one can read minds and operating under the assumption that your partner should “just know” what you feel and what you need can get you in a lot of trouble.
It’s true, people do actively need to work on proper communication skills. We all have different childhoods and experiences growing up so something that might seem totally normal to you might feel quite foreign to someone else. On top of that, it is often frowned upon in our society for men to express their feelings.
Some people might think that they’re weak or unmanly if they talk about how they feel, but this can be damaging to a relationship!
But don’t worry. Proper communication in a relationship or a marriage can be learned, and I want to go over some different tools for doing just that! Let’s take a look.
Communication and relationships: the keys to success!
If you can start to set new communication patterns, you will see a big shift. Communication patterns are the reactions that you always have, and the more you pay attention to changing these reactions, the more natural they will feel. In other words, the more you repeat a certain behavior, the more natural this type of behavior will become.
So if you want to know how to build good communication in a relationship, I encourage you to make an effort to incorporate the following tips I have for you in every exchange you have with your significant other! I can’t stress the importance of this enough.
Communication is essential because it is the glue that holds a relationship together. There will always be challenges, and there will always be subjects that you don’t agree on. if you can master the art of communication, then you’re going to watch as your relationship flourishes!
Help with relationship communication: Listening to understand
The first tip I want to go over with you is the art of listening to understand. So many people inadvertently ignore everything that their partner is saying to them simply because they want to say what they want to say.
When it comes to communication and relationships, it’s important to note that it’s a two-way road. Just like you have your opinion on something, your partner does as well, so it’s crucial that you make a conscious effort to understand where they’re coming from. Empathy is a powerful tool and it can strengthen your relationship like nothing else.
So I encourage you to actively listen when you’re talking with your partner. Instead of listening so that you can craft the perfect response, listen so that you can put yourself in his or her shoes.
All too often people are too focused on being right or on winning an argument when they should actually be focused on understanding what their partner needs. Instead of trying to defend your point or convey how you feel, I encourage you to really make an effort to understand where your partner is coming from and why they feel the way that they do.
How to better your communication in a relationship: Don’t point the finger
One of the most common issues that I see popping up in relationships is when people insist on playing the blame game. They refuse to accept responsibility for doing something that may have upset or hurt their partner and instead, they say something like, “Well you’re the one who X Y and Z.” Don’t attack them for the happiness that they are not giving you.
It’s destructive and this type of approach will only make your partner shut down. This is the type of thing that could make them respond to you in a negative way where they don’t hear you out. It can make them want to say things to just make sure that they’re right. There are much more productive ways of going about creating changes in your relationship that will result in more happiness!
You don’t want to make your partner feel like they constantly need to defend themselves against you because this can wear them down and ruin your relationship. Instead, you want to make sure that you two can pull in the same direction. This is one of the keys to improving communication in a relationship.
Having empathy is one of the best ways to improve communication in a relationship
This goes hand in hand with tip #1. A relationship cannot flourish without empathy. Challenge yourself to not only understand what your significant other is feeling; but to really feel it as well. The more you understand what your partner is experiencing, the easier it will be to find solutions together and to operate as a team.
So when you’re talking with him or her, make sure you acknowledge and validate their feelings. Let them be heard and feel your presence. If a person feels heard and understood, they will be much more inclined to open up to you.
Communicating with your partner through mirroring
One of the exercises that I give my clients who come to me asking about how to improve communication in a relationship is called mirroring.
It’s a simple technique that subtly reassures your partner and makes them feel heard. It’s actually very easy. When they’re expressing their point, venting to you, or giving you constructive criticism, all you have to do is echo what they just told you.
“I understand. So what you’re saying is that you’d like my to make a little more time for us to go and do things together.”
This is to make sure that you properly understood what they’re trying to tell you, but it’s also to show them that you’ve truly heard them. Try to use their own words to show them that you’ve taken it in and that their point has come across.
Use their terms to encourage them to share more
It’s important that you try to connect with your partner when you two are communicating. Show him or her that their interests are important to you as well and that you’re willing to work towards goals that would make them happy.
Try to combine your interests and needs with things that they can relate to so that it doesn’t feel selfish or one-sided to them.
If their interests become your interests, you will have common interests. This is one of the keys to developing healthy communication strategies with the person you love.
Better communication in relationships: Letting your speak
This is an interesting concept that has to do with human nature. Your partner needs to be able to feel like you let them talk. They have to be able to express themselves in the relationship.
Not only will this make them feel more at ease, it’s going to be a great way for them to feel understood. Think about it this way, the more a person is able to speak about themselves, the better they feel. It’s like there are more opportunities for them to get their point across and to share. And don’t get me wrong – you have to be genuinely interested!
Then later on, if there is something that you’re hoping that your partner will get on the same page about, it will become infinitely easier if they feel that the idea came from them!
How to communicate: Show respect
This one is one of the most important tips I’m giving you today. If your partner does not feel respected by you, they are not going to open up to you. Plain and simple.
Let your partner see that you respect them by paying attention to your tone, your body language, eye contact, how you value their time. Show them that you are making an effort to communicate and to understand them. Tell them that you respect their opinion and that you care about what makes them happy.
You can’t build a common life project unless both of you feel genuinely respected. And it’s important to mention that your partner should be respecting you, as well. This also entails being able to admit when you are wrong!
So always remember that respect is going to protect your relationship and help strengthen your bond.
Learning how to communicate in a relationship is possible
There are so many tips available to you for learning how to properly communicate in relationships so that you and your partner can be as happy as possible! I’ve only gone over a few here but I encourage you to click the video and articles that I haven place in this article to find out more.
To take it a step further, you can reach out to me or a member or my team by clicking here. Together we can create a custom action plan that will help you and your partner communicate in the best way possible, and set yourselves up for longterm success.
So to summarize what I’ve gone over with you in today’s article, I encourage you to listen to understand, avoid playing the blame game, practice having empathy, encourage your partner to share more, and last but not least, let them speak.
You want to foster an environment where your partner feels heard and understood, and feels welcome to speak. The more you are able to do this for one another, the more fulfilling your relationship will become. In addition to this and to take it a step further, you can also use communication to boost the attraction between you. We’ve created a product dedicated entirely to successfully doing this and if you’d like to access it, all you have to do is click here!
I sincerely wish you all the very best in life and love,
Your coach for the best communication in relationship