When your marriage feels like it’s on the brink of falling apart, you feel like you’re ready to try anything to fix it. You wonder if couple’s counseling would work and in some cases, you decide to test out a period of separation. But does separation help a marriage or does it make it easier for the two of you to drift apart?
Well, the topic of today’s article is going to be about this specific subject. As a dedicated love and life coach, one of the most powerful tools that I propose to a couple that is on the brink of divorce is actually a set period of separation.
I am fully aware of how scary that is for many people, but it is one of the most effective solutions available to you, especially when things are pretty rough at home.
It is our goal to provide you with tips and tools to help you coach yourself through the most challenging situations in your love life so that you can pave the way to a future that is truly happy.
As hard as it may be to believe these words as you read them right now, I want you to know that sometimes the prospect of divorce can actually signal the beginning of a very happy relationship…
Whenever I say this to people, I almost expect to be met with a look of bewilderment but I can guarantee you that this is true. You see, when a couple is faced with a divorce, it can suddenly put everything into perspective.
As relationships develop, we often settle into a routine and allow ourselves to operate on autopilot. The more we do this, the easier it becomes to take a partner for granted.
So, when the prospect of divorce begins to loom overhead and both of you accept the reality of this, something very interesting happens. It removes the denial factor that you have a great marriage and that everything is fine. It’s a wakeup call that is also a blessing in disguise!
When a person is wondering, “Does separation help a marriage,” the answer is usually yes because it gives the couple a reality check. In addition to this, it allows them to take a step back and get a 360-degree view of the situation.
It’s exceedingly hard to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and define long-term solutions when you’re in the thick of it and you’re feeling hurt and frustrated. With some time apart, on the other hand, you can take some time to analyze the problem at hand, explore what you are willing to do about it, determine whether or not you want to fight for this marriage, and understand where your partner is coming from once your emotions have calmed down.
Very often, what I see happening is that a couple will become closer after a period of separation because in addition to the elements I just went over, they realize how much they mean to each other and how willing they actually are to save their relationship.
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Very often we don’t even realize that we’re treating our friends, colleagues and family members nicer than we treat our spouses! We don’t mean to, but it’s a subconscious reaction to the thought that we’ve already committed to this relationship, so why make more of an effort?
Sadly this is exactly the kind of thing that can pull two people apart and damage their marriage.
This is also where separation can come into play, but it needs to be used wisely. Separation can help a marriage if you actively use the time and space to explore the issues at hand, define concrete, longterm solutions and work on your personal sense of well being.
It isn’t the easiest thing in the world, but I want you to know that I and my team of experts are here. We’ve created a YouTube Channel designed to help you coach yourself through this process with hundreds of videos available to you here. If you would like more personalized advice, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or a member of my team by clicking here.
It would be our pleasure to work with you and give you a tailor-made action plan to set you up for success.
Remember, if you’ve been wondering, “Can separation help a marriage,” the answer is YES if you use this time wisely.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know if separation can help a marriage,
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11 Responses
Yes I would like a personal perspective vivienn
Hi Vivienne, to work with us, you can click here and we can study your situation. That way, we can offer you personalized advice.
My husband has left me 5 times over our 21 year old marriage ! He says he has no feelings for me and thinks. Our marriage is done ! He left 6 months ago and he says he wishes he could get his feelings back for me but there not there !! So I’m left devastated again ! I don’t know how to make him want to try x
Hi Tracey, in these types of situations the ideal solution is switching your focus to bettering your personal life and becoming the best version of yourself. If you have been patient and understanding, and have always welcomed him back when he returns, it becomes easy for him to take you for granted. But if you make sure that you’re the person you’re placing on that pedestal, he will realize that he risks losing something special, and this is what can shift the dynamic in your favor.
Thanks so much for having you here….
I want to asked question if a lost relationship can be gain back?
Hi Victoria, yes, in the majority of cases you can get back together with an ex. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching so we can study your situation and explain how exactly. To work with us, just click here.
Does this apply for a divorce couple also coach Natalie. Even after being divorce for more than 8 months with little to no communication?
Hi Angelo, yes, separation and distance can also help couples that have gone through a divorce. If proper healing and changes take place over the period of time during which you are separated, it can serve as a wonderful blessing in your relationship when you find each other again.
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