When something isn’t sitting right in your stomach regarding your relationship with the one you love, it’s hard to think about anything else. When you’re starting to worry that she might be cheating on you, all those feelings become amplified and it can be extremely hard to focus on anything else. But how can you know for sure if she’s cheating on you or not?
Are there any clues to keep an eye out for that can give you concrete answers?
As a love and relationship coach specialized in restoring the love between two people, I have worked with many clients who have come to me asking, “Is my girlfriend cheating on me?” I’ve noticed some recurring themes in their situations, so I wanted to write this article for you today on what to keep an eye out for.
Your approach to the situation is going to be crucial, so I want to go over what signs to look for when you’re wondering if your significant other is being unfaithful to you, but I also want to talk about the best ways to find out for sure.
It’s a delicate topic and you want to make sure you approach the situation in the most productive way possible so that you can ensure that you’re setting your relationship up for success.
When someone comes to me for help asking if their partner is cheating on them, their next question is usually something along the lines of, “What does this mean for our relationship? Is everything over between us?”
The thing I want to bring your attention to now is simply that even if you find that the woman you love has been unfaithful to you, it doesn’t necessarily signify that your relationship is doomed. If anything, a shock like this can actually be a catalyst for a very positive change in your relationship.
Just take my client Jackson for example. He came to me a couple of months ago for help because he realized that his girlfriend was cheating on him. He had seen the warning signs, but he found out the truth when he went snooping through her laptop.
He found a string of emails between her and one of her coworkers and he quickly understood that they had been seeing each other behind his back. In fact, it had been going on for weeks. He was devastated of course and confronted her about it immediately.
His girlfriend, Caroline, actually came clean right away. She had told him that yes, she had strayed outside of the relationship but she was willing to do whatever it took to fix her relationship with Jackson.
At first, he was so shocked and so hurt that he wanted nothing to do with her. He felt betrayed and disrespected, and he didn’t want to be with someone that made him feel like that.
But after he had put some distance between him and the situation, he started to reflect. It was true that she had come to him multiple times to talk about the issues their relationship was facing, and he kept brushing it off or clamming up. The result was that they started to develop a pretty big sense of disconnect between them, and she began to feel lonely in the relationship.
This was around the time he came to me, and together we were able to lay out a new foundation for their relationship with better communication and stronger complicity.
I am happy to say that Jackson and Caroline have written to me saying that their relationship is now better than ever because this challenging period forced them to shine a light on what wasn’t working. They have worked as a team to repair the damage and have come to realize how important they are to one another.
So all that to say, even if you might find that you have a cheating girlfriend right now, it does not mean that your relationship is doomed. If you use this experience to really transform your relationship, you can make it better than ever and we are here to help every step of the way!
I know you want to find out what’s going on here, so let’s dive into the signs that your girlfriend is cheating.
It’s not a comfortable topic to think about, but the more information you have, the easier it will be to get a clearer sense of what’s going on! The very first thing I want you to think about is your intuition. If something feels like it’s off, chances are that there is. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your girlfriend is cheating on you per se, but if something isn’t sitting well with you, it means that there is something happening in the relationship that needs to be fixed.
I encourage you to do a scan of your relationship but also do some introspection. Pay attention to whether or not these feelings are stemming from something you experienced in the past or if they’re directly related to your girlfriend’s actions.
If you’re really thinking that she’s up to something behind your back, here are the signs to look out for…
You’ve started to notice that lies have found their way into your relationship. She lies often and about trivial things, and it’s starting to feel difficult to trust what she’s telling you. This, of course, makes it easier to doubt what she’s telling you when she says she’s going out to see some friends or needs to stay later at the office.
If you don’t believe what she’s telling you in your day to day lives, it’s going to be hard to believe her even if she’s telling you that she isn’t doing anything behind your back.
Another thing to keep an eye out for is a change in your significant other’s sexual appetite. When someone is cheating, it’s not uncommon for them to suddenly not want to be intimate with their partner, or to suddenly want to have a lot of sex.
If you sense a big, sudden shift in how often your girlfriend wants to be intimate, it could be because she is being intimate with someone else as well.
What is considered cheating in a relationship and how do you fix it?
You’ve started to notice that she’s become much more secretive about her phone and her computer. She hides the screen from you and maybe she’s even changed her passwords. She’ll delete messages, call logs and emails, and she makes sure that you don’t have access to any of this.
You might even notice that she turns off her phone for long periods of time, or you can’t reach her all evening when she’s not at home.
You may have noticed that she has started to buy all kinds of new lingerie, but you haven’t been seeing much of them. Maybe she’s started to put more of an effort into the way she presents herself and cares more about her look.
She might have started to buy more new clothing or makeup than usual and she’s always presenting herself in the best way possible whenever she leaves the house…
If your girlfriend has become shady about who she’s been spending time with, there is a chance that it’s what you’re worried about. This is especially true if it’s paired with some of the other indicators I’ve been going over with you in this article.
In healthy relationships, you don’t necessarily need to be able to keep tabs on each other at all times, but there shouldn’t be blatant secrecy either. If there is, something is off.
An interesting thing that happens when people cheat is that they often accuse their partners of cheating. Why?
It’s kind of like a defense mechanism because they’re self conscious. In some cases, it’s even manipulative because they want to cover their bases and say that they were only cheating because you were cheating. So keep an eye on this type of thing if you’re wondering “Is she cheating?”
As this article comes to an end, I wanted to take a moment to go over how to approach the situation if you’ve seen these signs:
Your intuition tells you something is wrong
Frequent lying
Changes in sexual appetite
Secrecy
Changes in spending habits
Won’t share who she’s with or what she’s doing
I also want you to pay attention to things like whether or not her friends and coworkers have started to act different around you or if she has stopped confiding in you.
If you are seeing all these signs, it’s going to be very important to know what you’re approaching her about. Accusing someone of being unfaithful is a big deal, and the signs I’ve gone over are indicators – not 100% concrete signs. Each situation is different, but if you’re truly sensing that the woman you love is cheating on you, then you’re going to have to breach the topic.
Again, make sure you do some introspection as well to make sure you pinpoint where these suspicions are stemming from first. It’s hard to bounce back from being accused of cheating if you aren’t, so I encourage you to keep your eyes open. If you’re still feeling unsure, I invite you to reach out to me or a member of my team for one on one guidance. Each situation is unique, but we can offer you clarity and guidance.
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I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re wondering, “Is my girlfriend cheating on me?”
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