When two people have been together for an extended period of time, it can become very easy for things to start to feel monotonous and predictable, and the absolute best line of defense against something like this is to make sure that you know how to keep your relationship interesting. I work with a great number of people who come to me for help in restoring the bond that they used to feel in their relationship, so I can tell you how important it is to keep things feeling fresh and exciting between you and the one you love.
There are some other elements to keep in mind when it comes to keeping a relationship strong, so I’m going to go over those things as well. It is my goal to offer you an article today that highlights what you can do to make your relationship feel alive, so that it will be able to withstand the test of time.
It’s a very common topic that a lot of people neglect, so hats off to you for taking the initiative to research how you can protect your relationship in the future. Even if you’ve already staring to sense some signs that your relationship is starting to feel a little bit boring, I don’t want you to panic. It is entirely possible to change the dynamic in your relationship so that you can strengthen your bond and light that fire again!
The problem that so many people have is that once they settle into a relationship, they start to get lazy. They don’t realize it’s happening, but little by little they stop making an effort to attract their partner, they stop making an effort to make their partner feel special, they stop making an effort to do new things together, and they stop making an effort to keep the relationship interesting. It’s not coming from a bad place – it’s just coming from a place of comfort. The more comfortable a person feels, the less effort they’re going to feel like they need to make.
Unfortunately, this insidious little detail is something that is enough to create a shift in the relationship, and a divide starts to form between the two partners. One feels neglected and the other feels frustrated by the other’s neediness, or both people just start to feel bored.
This reminds me of my client Rachel who came to me asking about how to keep your relationship interesting. She and Joshua had been in a relationship for ten years already, and they had some wild experiences together. For example, they had even moved to Hawaii together three years ago! The thing is, they had settled into their life together and on some level, they just assumed that it would always be interesting because they had already done so many cool things together. Of course, with time, things started to feel routine, and Rachel could tell that the boredom they both felt was starting to pull them apart.
So as we began working together, I reminded her that their relationship had begun with a lot of excitement so it was going to be important to maintain that element. Of course, that didn’t mean that they needed to make big moves to different countries every few years, but they would need to think about how to go out of their way to share memorable experiences on a more regular basis. And this can be small scale things like some of the ones that I will go over momentarily! So many people assume that if you want to know how to keep things interesting in a relationship, then you have to make these grandiose gestures and do things that are either too expensive, too time consuming, or require too much time and energy all the time. So, these things don’t need to be over the top, just recurring. Anything that matters in life is going to take some maintenance, so your relationship is no exception.
Now, the good news is that you are not doomed to a boring relationship that is headed straight towards its end because you’re already looking for ways to keep your relationship interesting. Let’s take a look at the how-to’s, shall we?
No one wants their relationship to start to feel boring, or worse still, to feel like a chore! The most successful relationships are the ones that make both people feel inspired and excited for the future! By incorporating the following points into your relationship, you will see a shift in your dynamic and you will start to make your relationship feel more stimulating.
Just because you’ve been together for a long time doesn’t mean that you guys need to allow your relationship to start feeling lackluster!
Many people that I work with have developed the mindset that they need to plan things for the future for their relationship to be interesting again. Now, it’s true, it’s important to have things to look forward to, but it’s also very important to make sure that you don’t neglect the present moment.
Think about what kind of things you can do today to light the spark a little bit. Like I said above, it doesn’t need to be anything over the top! You can send you partner a text message while he or she is in the office with something like, “I can’t wait for you to get home tonight… I have something for you.” Then you can prepare a romantic dinner at home, or maybe even plan for a bubble bath with some sparkling wine. There are so many easy things that you can do at home that would surprise your partner.
All it takes is a bit of creativity and proactivity. It’s so easy to just go home and plop on the couch and turn on the TV. But what good is that going to do? Why not take a moment to think of little things to do for your partner from time to time that keeps things feeling fresh and fun! A romantic dinner, the bubble bath, sending them flowers at work, and bring romance into your daily lives!
So having a relationship that is fun in the present moment is very important, but the future is also something to keep in mind! One of the best ways to make a relationship interesting is have exciting plans for the future, in addition to enjoying the present moment.
So start planning future plans with your significant other that you are both excited about. What’s a place that you’ve always wanted to go? Is there a place you’ve been meaning to visit again?
Again, these don’t need to be huge budget adventures. You can plan a weekend getaway or a camping trip up the coast. Think about your common interests and make sure that these plans tap into both of your interests! For example, if you’re into rock climbing, you can plan to check out a new area to climb that is within driving distance, or maybe even scope out some new rock climbing studios.
If your partner is particularly talented at painting, you can plan to go to a wine and painting class one evening and share in your partner’s interest while having lots of fun together. There are so many things that you can share, and the list of activities you can discover together is endless!
One of the complaints that I hear the most often from clients is that life in the bedroom is starting to feel boring after being together for so long, but I always remind them of something. You know your partner better than anyone, so you know what they like, what they dislike, and what would surprise them.
Now would be a great time to catch them off guard with something that you know they would like. You can also discuss what kinds of new things you would like to try. It can be anything from new positions, to role play, to toys, to playing out fantasies… Communication and the element of surprise are your allies when it comes to how to keep a relationship interesting, so don’t neglect them!
In addition to this, the element of mystery and anticipation often are allowed to fizzle out when two people have been together for a long time, so a really good way to make things exciting between you again is to give yourselves the opportunity to miss each other. Which brings me to my next point…
Everything you need to know about how to be happy in a relationship!
Allowing yourselves to miss each other is a huge tool. If you’ve got your own things going on, it’s going to make it easier for you both to crave each other’s presence, and you’re going to have a lot more to talk about when you’re back in the same place again.
Make sure you have a full schedule with people and activities that bring you joy because this is also going to help you to feel better about your own life. You’re going to be feeling more confident and excited about your life, and this makes you that much more magnetic!
We all live such busy lives these days that it becomes dangerously easy to neglect spending quality time together with our significant others. So one of the best ways to keep your relationship interesting is to carve out time to spend together, one on one. Not with the kids, not with your friends, not with your family, but one on one.
Even if it’s once or twice a month, make time in your schedules for date night, and try to think of a new place to go to each time. You can do dinner together, but it’s even better if you’re able to come up with new things to try out like gallery openings, seeing a play, taking a long bike ride, having a picnic, or even organizing a night in a hotel!
Make sure that you listen to each other and really pay attention to what kinds of things would make both of you happy. The more your partner feels heard, the more respected they will feel and in turn, they will feel more attracted to you. This will help you to set a pretty great foundation for keeping your relationship interesting.
So make sure that you remember the big picture, why you’re together and what you are building. Make a conscious effort to be aware of your partner’s needs and hear them out, and this will help with communication between you. Relate and empathize with each other.
And in addition to this, it’s very beneficial to a relationship to solve any small issues that arise quickly, and learn to accept the fundamental differences that won’t change.
By paying attention to these elements, you’re going to be able to constantly reinvent your relationship and keep it feeling exciting and fresh.
Your relationship is not doomed to fizzle out. All you need to do is become proactive, listen to your partner’s needs, and make an effort to introduce new elements into the relationship, carve out quality time spent together, and do things that you both enjoy doing. Make time for romance and spontaneity, surprise each other, enjoy the present moment and plan exciting things for the future!
As always, we are here to help so don’t hesitate to reach out. All you have to do is click here to work with me or a member of my team. Join the Happily Committed Project to transform your relationship in a meaningful way, and pave the way towards lasting happiness!
You can also leave any questions you might have for us in the comments section below and it would be our pleasure to respond.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to keep your relationship interesting
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