Keeping the flame alive in a relationship is one of the best ways to maintain the bond between you. That is why so many people panic when they start to realize that passion and attraction might not be so present in their relationship anymore. I work with people on a regular basis who come to me saying, “I’ve been picking up on signs my wife is not attracted to me anymore and I don’t know what to do.”
The good news is that there are plenty of solutions available to you! You just need to make sure that you’re making the effort to implement the solutions in your everyday life.
I don’t want you to panic. It’s normal for the passion in relationships to become less prominent as time goes on, but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept it! It’s a natural phenomenon, but it’s up to you and your wife to preserve and reinforce the fun and passion in your relationship.
Relationships, like anything of great value, require energy and maintenance. So in today’s article, I will be going over the biggest signs your wife isn’t attracted to you, but I will also give you some solutions that you can start implementing today! Let’s get started.
The first thing we need to do is to analyze the situation at hand, and in order to do so, I want to briefly outline the biggest signs your wife is no longer attracted to you. By having a complete understanding of what exactly is going on here, it will become infinitely easier for us to zero on in concrete solutions.
Many guys come to us for help with this topic, and a lot of them are worried that it might be too late to fix things. Take Philip for example. He came to me saying, “I really think my wife has lost interest in me.
I feel so distant from her and now we’re fighting all the time. I feel no sense of attraction from her and if anything, it feels like she hates spending time with me. I think I’m about to lose the woman I love forever and I have no idea what to do.”
He had tried everything to make her want to get closer to him, but he was approaching the situation the wrong way. He was showering her in gifts, bending over backward to try to get her attention, was constantly complimenting her and being quite needy. The result was of course that she started to pull even further away.
He found himself thinking about how to make her more attracted to him, but in doing so he was putting himself in a weaker position, which she found unattractive. It was a negative cycle that we needed to break.
So the first thing I want to do with you today is to explore the signs she’s not attracted to you anymore. Once we have a clear idea of the situation at hand, we can dive into the solutions!
I know it’s rough. The woman you love is becoming more and more distant and you’re wondering, “Is she attracted to me still or has it all fizzled out?” But is it a question of attraction or is there a deeper underlying problem?
When I’m working with clients who are struggling with this problem, there are recurring themes. Let’s briefly go over them so we can zero in on how to fix the problem.
The biggest sign a woman is not attracted to you is when she has no desire to be intimate with you. This goes without saying and it’s one of the things that can be the biggest blow to a man’s ego.
Maybe she is constantly too “tired” whenever you try to initiate something with her, or she finds other excuses, or perhaps she just gets so frustrated each time you try that you don’t even make an effort to be romantic with her.
If you feel that your wife is not interested in you, it can make it really easy to want to give up trying after a while, but that’s not going to help us.
Yes, you’ll need to make sure that you NEVER beg her for sex, because this will make you look needy and desperate, and instead, you’ll need to focus on attracting her to you in a new way. Don’t worry, I’ll explain that in more detail a little further down.
Another indicator that your wife has stopped finding you attractive is that she finds every little thing you do to be annoying. She doesn’t like the way you dress, she doesn’t like the way you eat, she doesn’t like the way you laugh, she doesn’t like the way you cut your vegetables…
Every little thing you do seems to rub her the wrong way. Either she lets you know or you can see it in her body language.
In addition to this, she’s short with you. She gives you one-word answers and is either quite cold or she acts totally disinterested in you. It feels like you can’t do anything right.
It’s not a great feeling, but again, this can change!
When a person is not attracted to their partner and worse still, doesn’t want to spend one on one time with them, they will often fill up their schedule with other people and activities.
Perhaps your wife is now spending all her time with her friends and her activities and doesn’t make any space for you. You might even feel like she’s avoiding having evening time with you because she doesn’t want to have to deal with the topic of intimacy.
So now my friends, it’s time to take a look at what kind of solutions are available to you!
Fortunately, for every problem, there is a solution and in this case, there are multiple solutions!
When you are seeing signs your wife isn’t sexually attracted to you, the first thing you’re going to have to do is to take a step back.
You shouldn’t do anything that would make you look clingy, needy or desperate. I cannot stress the importance of this enough! If your wife feels like you’re begging her for sex, she’s going to be completely turned off and will pull even further away.
So the very first thing we need to talk about is the importance of space. You have to give her some space so that she doesn’t feel suffocated, but also so that you give her the opportunity to start to crave your presence.
Just like you, a woman enjoys the chase. She likes having a man that she finds inspiring and magnetic, so you have to give her the space to crave being closer to you. If you’re spending every waking moment together and you’re in essence begging her for sex, you’re not going to get the result you’re hoping for.
So instead, put some space between you so that you can focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Something that many people don’t understand is that sexual attraction is not about the physical element. Yes, it plays a part, but it is not the main element at play here. It’s about Attraction.
Attraction in the emotional, chemistry-between-two-people sense of the word. A vital ingredient is self-confidence, but also space to allow someone to miss you. It needs to be combined with a lifestyle that you’re proud of and that other people would want to be a part of.
So as you allow for some space in your relationship, spend time going to the gym, pay attention to your appearance, make sure that you devote time to your personal and professional goals, fill up your schedule with people and things that bring you joy, and really work on becoming the 2.0 version of yourself!
This will inevitably attract your wife and help her to see you in a new light!
And remember the importance of body language. Stand up tall, have a confident tone of voice, smile and be self-assured and at ease. You want her to see your charisma.
Physical attraction is rooted in how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself. So if you want your wife to find you attractive again, you have to make sure that you find yourself attractive, too.
This is the foundation and the key to success.
If you’re constantly breaking yourself down with negative thoughts about yourself, your wife is going to pick up on this and find you less attractive. It’s just human nature. We are attracted to things that inspire us, things that we want to work towards achieving. If you’ve noticed that your wife doesn’t want to be intimate, finds everything you do irritating, is short with you and would rather spend her time doing things that don’t involve you, she might have lost attraction for you. But that just means it’s time to make some changes!
The next thing that needs to happen is that you must challenge yourself to socialize. The more things you do, the more you fill up your schedule with fun and exciting things, the more attractive your wife will find you. So even if you’re thinking, “My wife is not attracted to me anymore and I don’t feel like going out because I feel terrible,” challenge yourself to get out of the house!
Challenge yourself to improve your quality of life and interact with many people. The more charismatic you can be, the more attractive your wife will find you. Think about it this way: Let’s say you two are at a party and you’re off sulking in the corner. How is that going to look to her? Like someone she can’t wait to get home so that she can get you alone in your bedroom…?
No, not really.
But imagine that you’re the one that everyone is talking to because you’re so confident and you’re so interesting. Imagine that you’re making everyone laugh with this hilarious story you’re telling about something funny that happened to you last weekend when you tried rock climbing for the first time?
Of course she’s going to gravitate towards you. You’re going to be magnetic and inspiring, and the way to do this is by cultivating your personal life into something that makes you feel proud and confident. It’s not about finding a miracle solution and making her find you attractive again just by the flick of a magic wand. It’s about establishing a new foundation in your life that makes you and everything you represent more attractive as a whole.
I know that it can feel kind of overwhelming, but I want you to know that my team and I are here to help. If you would like one on one guidance from me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here.
Together we can work on creating a custom action plan that allows you to make your wife attracted to you again by improving the quality of the life you’re living. In order to boost the attraction between you and the one you love, I encourage you to check out our new product specifically designed to help you do this!
You’re more in control of the situation than you might realize, and we are here to help. Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way!
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re wondering, “Does my partner find me attractive?”
No spam, notifications only about news, events and updates.
“How long before moving in together?” This is a question I’ve been asked time and time again throughout my coaching sessions, and it’s no surprise!
A long time ago, he made a mistake that hurt you deeply. Your relationship was rocked by infidelity, but you put in the work to
Is your man dragging his feet when it comes to popping the question? In your mind, your relationship has long been ready for marriage, but
During my time as a love and relationship expert here at Happily Committed, I’ve seen every kind of relationship you can imagine. Everyone who comes
11 Responses
This is Great information. Thank you for the article. I’m definitely going to apply this to my marriage.
Hi John, thank you. We’re happy to have you with us!
What if ur wife used to cheat on you with different men while you were at work,we’re still together but she can go days even weeks without sex .
Hi Mike, it’s important to ask yourself if your wife is capable of change or if she is a serial cheater. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for help if you need some guidance. To work with us, just click here.
I knew a woman wrote this! Haha… Just couldnt possibly be an equal thing its always the mans fault! New flash! Its easier to please a man than it is to please a woman! Thats why I’m gay now.
Haha, I thought exactly the same as Tim while I was reading this, Don’t get me wrong, i agree with some of this, but to say everything wrong is with me isn’t right.
Thank you very much. Was sort of having a mental break down but reading your column has given me some hope. Will work on myself and socialize more and I will see what happens. Will give you an update. Thanks again.
Thanks for the positive feedback! I am glad things are getting better! Continue with the positive mindset and journey!
Thanks,
Happily Committed
What if my wife is lying about when people write her that she’s blocked and unblocked for certain reasons. And it’s happened 3times or more of the same situation
I tried socializing I started going out with a friend once a week and turns out she enjoyed the fact that I was doing that. She actually encouraged me to do so. Unfortunately it was for the purpose of getting me out of the house so she could talk other men on the phone and through text. I looked at call logs and found out she’d been doing it for months. Mostly the Thursday nights she was so happy for me to go out and have.
My name is Kelvin , my wife has not kissed me for many years now , i give her all she wants , sometimes i find her texting men , forgive her and we move on ,lately she hates having sex with me and it hurts me so much , please help me