Being a working mom is hard work. I often work with women who come to me for help in finding balance in their personal lives when they are trying to juggle their jobs, their relationships, and their kids.
It’s a delicate subject because we have so many responsibilities piled on our plates today, and it can be very challenging to find a balance that not only makes us happy but makes our family happy as well.
I’ve also worked with people who have come to me for help with making their relationship stronger when their partner is having trouble balancing their busy jobs with their family lives and I want you to know that it is possible to strike a happy balance.
It’s all about making a conscious effort to strike that balance and I have written this article for you today on how to do just that.
I will be going over what you can do when you’re having trouble juggling your role as a mother with your job and your romantic life, and I’ll also share some solutions with you if your spouse is the one who is spending more time on her work than on your relationship.
This can be especially challenging when you’re in a young relationship and you’ve recently had your first child, but don’t despair. You’re in the right place!
Being a working mom has its challenges
It comes as no news to you, but it often feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day.
Between all the responsibilities that pile up on us at work, driving the kids to soccer practice, helping them with their homework, making sure you’re earning enough to support your family, and making time for romance AND making time for yourself, it can feel like our days need to be twice as long.
Not to mention the frustration we feel when we aren’t able to accomplish everything we have on our To Do lists. This frustration is often something that trickles into our romantic relationships and leaves us feeling like we aren’t doing enough and our relationships are suffering as a result of it.
The truth is that these types of challenges are very common and very normal. It’s hard to figure out how to be a working mom and make sure your personal life still thrives. Relationships and marriages go through different seasons and will require constant maintenance.
I know that a lot of people don’t realize this and can start to panic when they realize that they are facing challenges with their significant other or their children.
When it comes to your significant other, relationships go through different seasons and always need to be reinvented as they grow and evolve. You will inevitably face different challenges in life and the key to success is to operate as a team.
The challenges and issues you have to navigate through as a young couple are a completely different set of challenges than when you move in together for example and these are completely different than the set of challenges you face when you have a child (or more than one child), and when you start to lose family members that you were close to…
The best thing you can do to make your relationship thrive is to focus on staying united through the tests and challenges that you might be facing. It’s easy to inadvertently try to seek your own sense of happiness.
That said, let’s take a look at how to cope with being a working mom and find the sense of balance that you’ve been looking for!
How to be a working mom with a happy family
I had a client reach out to me recently who asked me about how to handle being a working mom and still manage to keep her husband and kids happy.
Tracy was worried that she was neglecting them by spending so much time at work, but it was hard for her to organize her schedule in a way that allowed her to accomplish everything she had to do for her job while spending ample time with her husband and daughter.
She was a successful business owner in New Jersey and had a five-year-old daughter with her husband, and she had been struggling with these feelings for a few months before she reached out to me.
Her husband worked too and between all of their seemingly endless responsibilities, she was starting to feel exasperated and frustrated. What I told her is the same thing I’m going to tell you.
When this feeling arises, patience is going to be key. Certain periods of our lives are more hectic than others and new moms can have a really hard time finding that balance, and that’s OK.
It’s dangerously easy to obsess over what you can’t do or your limitations instead of feeling grateful for what you CAN do.
I always try to remind my clients of the positive side of things and you’ve got to remember that you’re able to give your kids attention when they seek it in their youth and then focus on career or love as they start to grow older when you have more time and they don’t require as much of your attention.
It’s about finding pleasure in your obligations instead of fixating on wanting more. Cultivating a positive mindset can make a big difference in your life and affect the way you operate each and every day.
Be kind to yourself! Mothers are superheroes and manage more than many people would expect, or even comprehend. So don’t feel guilty about what you are not doing; focus on all the positive things that you are accomplishing, and remind yourself that this challenging period is temporary.
Life ebbs and flows and it’s important to remember that we are doing the best that we can. For some people, being a working mom is too hard and they decide to leave work to be a stay at home mom, and it’s also important to remember that you have different options open to you.
Being a working mom is hard, but there are tools to help protect your relationship
If you have sought out this article because your wife is the one who works a bit too much and it’s taking a toll on your family life, I don’t want you to panic.
It’s definitely difficult to feel neglected, especially for men because the ego can play a big role in this phenomenon, but if you can empathize with what she’s going through, you’ll find that it will help.
Don’t try to compete with your wife professionally and always remember that you two are on the same team and you’re both doing your best to support the family you’ve built together. I can’t stress the importance of working as teammates as opposed to adversaries enough. I often see people picking fights with their wives because they feel insecure, frustrated or even threatened by their wife’s success, and you can imagine how easily this can undermine a relationship.
So challenge yourself to communicate from a place of love and wellbeing than a place where you feel frustrated, overwhelmed or even triggered.
Make plans to spend time with your wife in advance and block off time in a monthly calendar, even if it’s just a couple of nights each month! I also encourage you to do the same for family time that you can both spend with your kids.
As challenging as it might feel sometimes, think in terms of quality vs quantity. When you are spending time together, be fully engaged. Put your phones on silent and just be with one another.
I’ve coached so many people that were on the brink of divorce because one or both partners worked too much and didn’t make (or have) enough time for their family, but they were able to turn things around. They just needed to take some space from each other in order to gain perspective. For some couples who were really ready to pull the trigger and go through a divorce, they were able to restore their love by going through something we refer to as “the year of patience.”
For those of you who might not be familiar with this concept, in many cases in which a couple is about to divorce, we would suggest waiting a year before finally going through with it. It helps them to bring themselves to account and find a renewed sense of love and appreciation for their significant other. In addition to this, I encourage you to check out our new product on boosting attraction between you and the one you love. To access it, just click here.
So do not despair, even if things are feeling rough right now! Focus more on the things that you can control, and work on developing the right virtues to help you become a better person and a better partner!
How to be a working mom who is happy and fulfilled at home as well
Each and every situation is going to be unique, but there are tailor-made solutions available to you. If you would like to work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here. We can work with you to create a custom action plan that can help you to find a sense of wellbeing, help you to restore and protect your relationship with the one you love, and find a way to balance your professional life with your kids and your significant other.
As I said above, these periods are temporary so patience is key, and just work on designing a schedule that is in line with your values. Communicate with your family about this, and cultivate a positive mindset.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, even if sometimes you realize that you’re thinking, “I hate being a working mom.” There are solutions to every problem, and we are here to help you every step of the way.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re thinking “Being a working mom is hard and I need help,”