With the pressures that our society places upon us, it comes as no surprise that so many people are experiencing what is called a quarter life crisis. I too experienced a quarter life crisis but fortunately was able to power through it and use it as a tool for positive growth in my life.
Because I know how challenging and confusing this period is, I wanted to write this article for you today.
I will be going over the signs of a quarter life crisis, but I will also be explaining the best ways to work through it without winding up with regrets! As scary as this situation might feel, I want you to rest assured that you don’t have to worry. This is a perfectly natural phenomenon that happens to so many people.
The key is to identify what’s going on so that you can zero on in the ideal solutions. Fortunately, you’ve already gone out of your way to find this article, so you’re already actively working on pinpointing solutions. Proactivity is one of your best weapons against the quarter life crisis, so hats off to you!
What is it exactly?
A quarter life crisis is very similar to the midlife crisis, but it just happens at a younger age. A person can experience a quarter life crisis in their twenties or thirties, and it feels like everything they’ve been working towards is put into question.
I often see this happening in people that have just finished school and are experiencing doubts about their career paths. Despite the fact that they had just invested an incredible about of time and money into getting this degree, they find themselves full of doubt regarding whether or not it was the right move.
That, paired with the pressure our society places on us to succeed and keep powering forward, is a recipe for a crisis.
It’s also interesting to me how in our culture, especially in big bustling cities, we are not encouraged to rest and take time for ourselves. It’s always go-go-go! So when we get tired and start feeling run down, we can start to develop doubts. And when we don’t have time to explore what would be best for us, we can start to question everything and panic.
I also see the quarter life crisis manifest itself in relationships. Oftentimes, a client will come to me for help because they’re feeling like they’ve invested in a relationship and planned out a future with someone, but they are experiencing serious doubts about whether or not they truly want that.
Their identity had become completely rooted in their relationship and it has made them feel lost and dissatisfied.
It’s normal to ask ourselves questions and to have doubts, and it’s normal to experience a quarter life crisis when you feel like you’re being consumed by the choices you’ve made. We live in a time where we are surrounded by pressures, expectations and responsibilities, so it does not surprise me that we would start to feel overwhelmed by it all.
So the question we need to be asking right now is whether or not you are experiencing a crisis. Is it a midlife crisis or is it a moment of feeling tired out by life?
Am I experiencing a quarter life crisis: Here are the signs to look out for
A quarter life crisis is very real. It’s not something that was made up in the media; it is something that I experience with my clients very often and it should not be underestimated. If a crisis like this is left to grow and take over your life, you can wind up with serious regrets and unhappiness. It can be devastating.
The first step in finding a solution to the issue is properly analyzing the problem, so let’s take a look at the main signs of a quarter life crisis.
As I began explaining, one of the main indicators that you’re going through a quarter life crisis is that you feel completely trapped by your choices. You’re overwhelmed with doubt about the decisions you’ve made, and are experiencing an existential crisis.
You’re feeling extremely confused about where you are in your life compared to where you thought you were going to be.
You might find yourself obsessively comparing yourself to other people around you that are living lives that resemble what you had envisioned for yourself, you might doubt your self-worth and your potential, and you might even feel like there are no solutions available to you.
The result is that you spiral towards depression, and we need to put an end to that right away!
When a quarter life crisis starts to sneak up on you, you will start to experience a strong urge to change the direction of your life. This is typically when people start to remove the responsibilities that have been established from their lives. Whether this is their work or their relationships, they’ll start to put an end to things and pull away.
A very clear sign of a quarter life crisis is when you start to remove commitments that you’ve made from your life. You start working harder to find yourself. The goals that you’ve set don’t speak to you anymore and you are feeling trapped.
There is a disconnect between the expectations that you, your family, and society has placed on yourself, and the reality of how you’re feeling and what you want in your life.
Another sign of a crisis is when you feel panicked about not having enough goals, or that your goals are unrealistic! It might also be that kids, or lack thereof are sparking this crisis in your life. It’s all a question of pressure in our lives, and we need to find a way to navigate through this and come out on top.
Otherwise, it can truly undermine your life and your well being.
How to deal with a quarter life crisis: The key to success!
This period is temporary. You aren’t going to feel this way forever, especially if you challenge yourself to focus on the solutions that are available to you.
The very first thing I want to go over with you is the importance of not making brash decisions! Though it might feel tempting, you don’t want to do anything right now that you’ll end up bitterly regretting in the future.
Don’t rush things when you’re experiencing a crisis!
I can’t stress the importance of not making decisions that feel good in the moment without factoring in the consequences. I often see this with people leaving their significant others because they feel overwhelmed in the moment.
I can honestly tell you that it’s a lot easier to fix the problems in a relationship while you’re still together than having to put the pieces together after you’ve already broken up!
So if you’re experiencing a midlife crisis at 30, be careful to think your decisions through and protect your future happiness. Don’t try to change everything overnight. Be composed and levelheaded. Make sure that you’re taking action to align your life with the new core values that you’ve discovered within yourself!
Life is about continually evolving and growing, and it’s important to accept these developments. You will experience these growing pains again, so I encourage you to do the work to set yourself up for success by taking a step back to get a 360-degree view of the situation. By doing so, you can make the decisions that serve you the most and keep you safe from having to deal with serious regrets later on down the line.
I also want to stress the importance of staying true to your core values. Even if you’re going through a quarter life crisis and it has been affecting your relationship with those around you, don’t lose hope! You can absolutely bounce back but you need to know yourself, remember what you care the most about and live a life that is aligned with those core values.
A midlife crisis when you’re still young: Aligning your life with your values
When you’re experiencing a quarter life crisis, you realize that you’re not living a life that is aligned with your core values and virtues. It’s a period of doubt and disappointment oftentimes linked to your lack of happiness in your career, your relationship, or even your finances.
It can be exceedingly hard, especially when you don’t know who to turn to. When you’re in your twenties or even your thirties, it’s a difficult age because you’re transitioning into adulthood and like I said above, there are so many pressures placed upon us.
There are inevitably going to be consequences to choices that you’ve made and it’s true that they can contribute to your midlife or quarter life crisis. That is why I keep talking about how important it is to not make decisions right now that you’ll end up regretting!
Instead, work on zeroing in on your core values and work on systematically aligning your life with them. If you’re truly unhappy in your job, start spending some time researching other positions you can apply for. Introduce some more physical exercise into your life so that you can release tension and release endorphins. Surround yourself with people that have a positive influence on you and inspire you to make positive decisions. If you’re feeling extremely overwhelmed, you can take some time for yourself.
Allow yourself to slowly develop a life that you’re proud of!
If you’re worried that you don’t have goals or that the goals you’ve set for yourself are not realistic, don’t panic. Having a quarter life crisis can be a golden opportunity to transform your life in a very positive way. Take your time, define what is truly important to you, what you believe in and what you want your life to look like from here on out and then begin to take action and work on making that a reality.
Getting through an early life crisis
As difficult as this period can be, I encourage you to remain level headed and collected. First, determine whether or not you are experiencing a quarter life crisis.
Do you feel trapped by your choices?
Do you feel a strong urge to change the direction of your life?
Do you want to quit the commitments, job or relationship that makes you feel trapped?
Are you experiencing anxiety over the direction and quality of your life?
Are you disappointed about your career, relationship or finances?
Do you feel fear associated with your goals or lack thereof?
Are you experiencing an identity crisis?
If you are answering “Yes” to these questions, you are experiencing a quarter life crisis. Instead of fixating on a certain monetary value or a concrete goal that you want to meet immediately, the solution lies in making decisions that turn your life into one that gives you a sense of pride.
This means focusing on living a life that you’re proud of and then using different elements like your job, your relationships, and the people around you to add value. When you do this, good things will happen and you will sense a big shift. You will achieve your goals, new goals will come, and you will continue to achieve them.
A life crisis can be a golden opportunity to grow and to love yourself more. If you’d like to know about how to to feel more confident, I highly recommend downloading our product on overcoming insecurity. All you have to do is click here to access it. I know that each situation is unique and you probably have questions, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or a member of my team. Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your life in a dignified and meaningful way. We can work with you one on one to provide you with custom solutions to the issues you are experiencing at this time.
Remember, this challenging period is temporary and you can use it as a tool to make some wonderful changes, if you approach the situation in a calm and collected manner.
I wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re experiencing a quarter life crisis