As this is going to be a shorter article, let’s dive right in. The first tip I have for you is fostering a sense of empathy. The power of empathy, or putting yourself in your partner’s shoes in other words, is often underrated. It helps you to understand what makes your partner tick, what he or she needs in order to feel fulfilled and loved, how to anticipate things so that you can effortlessly avoid arguments, and it helps you to become much closer as a couple.
It goes hand in hand with communication, which is another one of the biggest pillars of a healthy relationship. Neither person can read minds so it is up to both of you to work on talking to each other when there is an issue at hand. For more in-depth advice on how to communicate in a relationship, I encourage you to read this article!
It’s true, one of the most sincere forms of respect in a marriage is actually listening to what the other person has to say. I do want to mention, however, that it’s important to avoid confusing communication with neediness, which is one of the biggest relationship killers. It’s normal that you might want to speak with your spouse often and frequently ask them if they’re happy but many times you’re only asking questions like this to ease your own anxiety. Instead of doing this, challenge yourself to be action-oriented and work on making changes that will benefit your relationship.
Be careful because if your partner starts to find you needy, it can cause them to lose attraction to you and the relationship.
I know, no one likes criticism, but it’s one of the biggest tools we have when it comes to fixing your marriage! Think about it this way: Your partner’s criticisms about your behavior provide you with the clearest clue to his or her primary love language.
This means that if you can really listen to what your partner is saying, you will learn what they need in order to be happy. So make sure your partner feels heard and understood, even if it means you have to take a bit of criticism. By accepting their frustration, you can determine the ways in which you can fix it and ease their frustration and consequently save your relationship.
One of the best keys to healthy communication is the “reflective listening” technique. It is essentially the act of repeating back to your partner, in your own words, what they have just said. The idea is that you first check to see if you’ve understood them correctly, and help them to realize that you ARE listening.
All human beings have a need to feel accepted and appreciated, and fixing a marriage is rooted in this concept. When dealing with human beings, we have to remember that we are dealing with creatures of emotions; not creatures of logic. It doesn’t matter how independent, confident, or self-sufficient a person might be. If they feel misunderstood or taken for granted, it will damage the relationship.
So if you feel that in order to save this marriage, your spouse has to change too (which is usually the case), then you have to be the example for that change. Lead by example! Show your significant other that change IS possible. If they can see a change in you then you can inspire genuine change in them, too.