We are living in a society where we have so much responsibility and so little time, that it comes as no surprise that people would be struggling with finding a balance between work and their personal lives. As a result, many of you are struggling because it has an adverse effect on your relationship with your significant other and things can start to feel a little shaky.
As you know, relationships require maintenance, care and attention, so it’s very important to learn how to balance work and life. Not only is this something that will greatly affect your relationships with the ones you love, it will also serve you for the rest of your life.
Managing your time in a way that leaves room for cultivating your sense of wellbeing outside of your profession is key for living a balanced lifestyle.
It protects you from getting burnt out, it makes it easier to maintain a positive frame of mind that helps to keep you from lashing out when tensions are running high, and it is something that can make you and those around you much happier.
Taking pride and enjoying your work is also very important, because self confidence is rooted in a sense of accomplishment, so let’s explore how to strike the perfect balance between work and life. There are various changes that you can begin to implement starting today, so let’s take a look!
Very often, when people are used to working very much, they get into a pattern where they don’t realize how much time they’re devoting to work, and how little time they’re devoting to their personal life, namely their significant other.
This is when it’s time to take a step back and keep an eye out for the signs that there is a work/life imbalance.
So what are the concrete indicators that your work and life aren’t balanced?
The first thing to keep an eye on is how much stress you’re experiencing as a result of work. If you find that you’re constantly feeling sick about it and if you’re regularly losing sleep, it means that you’ve probably got too much on your plate.
I know it’s hard to figure out how to balance work and life when you have a large amount of responsibility at your job, but it’s important for your future well-being that you find ways to take less on, or be able to delegate.
Another sign that your personal and work lives are imbalanced is when your partner feels neglected. If he or she often tells you that you’re absent because you’re working too much, it means that this is something you should pay attention to. It could also be that your children miss you and don’t really feel that you’re around that much.
It’s also important to pay attention to how you are feeling. If you feel like you’re in a constant state of missing your family and that you’re missing out on important life events and functions, it’s time to strike a new work life balance.
When you feel that you’re experiencing too much stress from your job, it’s an indicator that rest and life balance are essential. It’s easy to get stuck in a form of routine, especially when your job is demanding, but I also want you to know that you’re not stuck. So let’s take a look at what things you can start doing in your daily life that will create a positive shift in your work life balance.
When I’m working with a client who is struggling with finding a good balance between their personal lives and all their responsibilities, the first thing I encourage them to do is to block out their schedules with different colors relating to work (or school), to their significant other/family, and to other responsibilities. I encourage you to do the same because by having a visual representation of how much time you spend in each place, you have a better sense of how your time is being allocated.
This is something that helped my client Daniel quite a bit. He came to me asking about how to balance work and family life, because he was having trouble identifying how much work was too much work. His wife, Sandy, had lovingly told him that he was too absent from her and their children’s lives and that some changes were going to have to be made if they were going to protect their family. I’ll expand on this later on in this article when I go over how to approach the situation if your partner is the one who is working too much, but there were changes that both of them needed to make.
When I asked Daniel to create a visual map of how he divided up his time, it came as no surprise that he was able to see that the color he had assigned to “work” saturated most of his calendar. He is a very disciplined man so I told him that he needed to be as strict about enforcing time for his family life as he was about enforcing time dedicated to his job.
With an effort being made on both parts, Daniel and Sandy have been able to create a new family dynamic that feels more fulfilling, and as a result, Daniel has become much happier. Sometimes you overwork yourself and get run down, and if you don’t make time for your loved ones (and your passions and hobbies), it can be very hard to find fuel to build yourself back up.
So figuring out how to balance work and family life really is mutually beneficial. It improves the quality of life of everyone involved.
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It’s true, we are all very motivated by rewards! So why not do a little something for yourself and give yourself a lifestyle reward at the end of each work week. For example, a date night with the person you love, maybe a massage alone or together, or even a hike. Think about the people and things you love, and dedicate time to them in your schedule at the end of the week so that you have something to look forward to AND a reward to receive. Reward yourself by living!
We aren’t meant to work ourselves down to the bone. This life is too beautiful to not take advantage of all the wonderful people and places around us, so I really encourage you to make time for your personal life and don’t let work get in the way.
Now this doesn’t mean that you should neglect your work; it just means that you need to focus on finding balance.
Another thing that I ask my clients to do is to check in with their loved ones and find out what activities or events they’d like to be a part of. Include them in your schedule before work piles up because at the end of the day, it’s a lot easier to slip work into life, than to slip life into work.
I wanted to talk about Sandy a little more, because I mentioned that both partners can play a role in striking a better work and life balance.
When your significant other is constantly working and you feel that he or she is absent from important moments or even day to day life, it can take a serious toll on your relationship.
So if your partner works too much, the first thing to keep an eye on is your approach to the situation. Let’s say that they’re always at the office and they regularly miss your son’s soccer games. As frustrating as it might be, instead of reprimanding your partner each time they miss a game, try positive reinforcement each time they are able to show up for a game. Again, we are motivated by reward, so which of these two approaches would make your partner want to make more of an effort to show up to the next game?
“Typical. I don’t even know why we invite you to these games anymore, it’s not like you ever show up.”
Or
“Did you see the look on our son’s face today? He was so proud and so happy to see you! I’m so glad you could make it today.”
The more positive reinforcement a person receives, the more inclined they will be to repeat the behavior that results in a reward for them. It’s just simple human nature!
It’s important to cheer your partner on and that you build them up instead of break them down. People are motivated by pleasure; not by punishment. This will also make it easier to re-attract their attention.
Think about non-verbal communication as well. Don’t stand with your arms crossed or your back to your partner. You can create intimacy without words by making an effort to be more tactile, to make more eye contact, and by creating an inviting environment. In addition to this, make sure that you’re taking care of yourself and that you too are living a balanced life! In fact, we’ve just created a product specifically designed to teach you how to boost the attraction between you and the one you love. To find out more, all you have to do is click here!
Give your partner space and freedom as well, because if they’re feeling pressure from work, they don’t want to feel pressure from their personal life as well. Their home should be a positive environment to where they should WANT to return and spend more time!
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What it all boils down to is really just discipline. Being aware of the imbalance is key, so then you can make a conscious effort to strike a healthier balance in your life. And I mean on a day to day basis! It’s not about just finding one day every few weeks where you do something for yourself that doesn’t involve work.
It’s about finding balance that starts to feel natural. Block out certain times in your schedule for people and things that are not related to work. Dedicate time to your own personal well-being whether it’s date night, or doing something that you enjoy in your town. Reward yourself with something at the end of each week.
Involve your loved ones by making them a priority and by asking them what activities they’d like to be a part of.
And if you’re wondering about how to balance work and life because your partner is a workaholic, remember what I said about reward vs punishment. Always make sure that you’re approaching the situation in a positive way that would make him or her want to spend more time with you and your family.
If you need any help at all, we are here to guide you from A to Z. As a team of dedicated love and relationship coaches, we are here to answer any questions you may have or to help you define an action plan. Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your relationship in a dignified and meaningful way. To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to balance work and life
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