I was recently working with a client who was in a similar situation. At first, Irene, a successful British business owner with three children, reached out to me to help her to save her marriage. She really had the best intentions and wanted to do everything in power to save her marriage from ending in divorce, for her children’s sake and for her relationship’s sake.
As she began telling me about her relationship with her husband, I quickly came to the realization that Irene had been in an emotional abusive relationship for the last twenty years. Her husband was manipulative and narcissist.
We worked together and I provided her with clarity and guidance through this challenging situation. When a relationship is toxic, separation or divorce is usually the best way to regain a sense of inner peace and joy. Irene needed to begin a new chapter, and honest and unbiased advice that would allow her to alleviate the sense of guilt that she was feeling. So when she finally asked me about how to let go of someone you love and leave a toxic relationship and we successfully did it, she was truly grateful that the weight of the world had been finally lifted off of her shoulders.
So when it comes to how to end a toxic relationship, there are a couple of different approaches.
How to get out of a toxic relationship for good: The letter method
One of the best ways to get out of a toxic relationship is to sit down and write a letter to your partner. It’s often very hard to express yourself face to face, especially when you’re already feeling like you’re walking on eggshells in this relationship.
So I encourage you to write a letter to your partner in which you explain your reasoning for making the decision to leave this relationship. If he or she truly cares about you, they will let you go and no longer hold you down. If they don’t respect your wishes after you break up and don’t give you your space and privacy, then the best thing to do is to ignore them and protect your dignity.
Talk to them when you’re getting out of a toxic relationship
If you prefer a face to face approach, then you’re going to have to have a serious conversation with your significant other. I encourage you to prepare your speech in the mirror prior to doing it face to face. Practice what you want to say and coach yourself.
Bear in mind that this speech should not be longer than 30 minutes. Make sure that you aren’t theatrical or dramatic, and remember that the longer time you spend doing this, the easier it becomes to reconsider your decision and change your mind about leaving this person and this situation.
It’s hard to leave any relationship, so don’t give yourself the chance to give in and cave.