Identifying how exactly the trust was broken in this relationship
Whether you are responsible for the broken trust, or your significant other was, you’re going to have to zero in on how exactly is was broken in the first place. There are so many reasons why their trust in you or your trust in them might be broken!
For example, did it break because
⁃ One of you snooped through the other’s phone or computer?
⁃ Did one of you lie?
⁃ Is this the result of a scar that was not healed in the past?
⁃ Did one of you cheat?
⁃ Did insecurities get the best of one of you?
If you can asses and establish how you got here, you can start to define concrete solutions. So let’s say you went through your boyfriend’s texts. Ask yourself why you felt the need to do this. Did someone hurt you and break your trust in the past, and now your current boyfriend is paying the price for someone else’s mistake? In many many cases, a person will do something that damages the trust between them and their partner because there is a deeper rooted insecurity at play. You might feel the need to snoop through your partner’s phone because you’re afraid that they might cheat on you because you don’t bring enough to the table.
How to trust again: Focusing on self confidence
The key to successfully rebuilding trust in your relationship is zeroing in on where it felt like there was a lack so that you can start to do what it takes to feel more confident. Once you start to do the work, you will need to start communicating these changes and transformations to your significant other.
I know that this article is going over general solutions to this issues, but I do encourage you to reach out to me or a member of my team for one on one guidance. By asking you targeted questions, we can define a custom action plan that it ideal for your specific situation and relationship.
Now, if your partner is the one who damaged the trust in the relationship, it is going to be important for you to assess the situation and honestly ask yourself whether or not this person is willing to do some introspection and reassess their values, emotional stability, and mental health so that they can find solutions to these problems. If they don’t want to get better, there is not much you can do. If they do, you have to commit to forgiving them every single day.
That is why it’s so important to focus on what you can control: YOUR actions!
So, when it comes to building mutual trust and respect in a relationship, it needs to be nurtured from the very beginning because it’s very hard to repair once it has been broken. A lack of trust will bring about insecurity, instability and resentment in the relationship.
When trust has been broken, make sure that you take responsibility for your actions, and make a new promise to the one you love through action. It will require time and patience, but if you’re committed to it, anything is possible in love.
Join the Happily Committed Project and let us help you transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way. You can reach out to us directly like I said above, and you can leave any questions you might have in the comments section below.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to build trust in a relationship