Sometimes people are wondering about what causes a lack of communication in marriage and in many of the cases, it’s because people don’t know how to solve disagreements in a productive way. As a result, they start to push each other away and have even more difficulty resolving issues in the future.
This is why I always stress the importance of never playing the blame game, because it’s just going to make your partner shut down. Pay attention to how you’re making your point. For example, there is a big difference between “YOU never make time for me and YOU always have something more important going on than spending time with your spouse” and “I miss spending time with you…”
Another thing to keep in mind is when your partner is expressing something that is making them feel a certain way, you can show them that you’ve understood by repeating what they said back to them. “Ok, I see what you’re saying. I can make some improvements in terms of cleaning up after myself and taking some of the work off of your plate.”
It helps to feedback what your partner is saying to you until they acknowledge that you got it.
Learning how to listen when there are communication problems in marriage
I often see people fighting to make their point instead of hearing their partner out in an argument. If you want to fix communication issues in marriage, I encourage you to learn to listen to understand; not to reply or to win an argument.
Really work on hearing what your partner has to say and using it as a tool to help you put yourself in their shoes. If you’re wrong, admit you’re wrong. Showing humility in addition to empathy is going to get you much further than pointing fingers or trying to deflect all the blame.
A good tool for solving issues together as a team is starting by asking your partner questions that you know that they’ll respond “Yes” to. It helps reinforce that you two are on the same page. The more agreements you find, the easier it will be to find a consensus.
Communication in a marriage: Showing respect
Your partner wants to feel valued and respected by you, just like you want to feel valued and respected by them. The best way to make this happen is to make sure that both of you feel respected by each other! The more you listen to your partner, the more he or she will listen to you.
So make sure you talk in terms of your partner’s interests, and encourage them to talk about themselves. You want to know how they feel and what they need in order to feel happy and fulfilled in this relationship.
Make sure that the person you love feels important. A good way to ensure this is to treat them the way you want to be treated. The more you listen to your partner, the more they’re going to listen to you, so make sure that you’re actively thinking about perfecting your communication skills in marriage.
Breaking down the barriers to effective communication in marriage
So as you know, a lack of communication in a relationship is going to undermine its foundation and in many cases, a lack of communication in marriage leads to divorce. There are so many different reasons behind problems with communication in people’s relationships, but the good news is that there are always solutions available to you if you’re willing to do the work.
The first thing to remember is that empathy can go a long way. Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes so that you can work as a team to keep communication fluid between you. Make sure you actively listen and hear them out, and go out of your way to make them feel respected and loved by you.
To learn more about how to communicate effectively, check out these resources! Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way, and restore the foundation of your relationship so that it can really begin to thrive! We’ve got new products on attraction and building self confidence. I encourage you to check them out and learn how to make your relationship stronger than ever.
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I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when for everything you need to know about communication in marriage