When it comes to how to fix bad communication in a relationship, don’t condemn, criticize or complain. Instead, work on affirming the validity of their emotions. This is especially important because your partner won’t listen to you until they feel that you understand them. In most arguments, the unspoken truth is that your partner actually feels that they are not good enough for you or that you cannot understand their pain.
So let’s say you’re arguing about something. Let your partner talk and make a conscious effort to listen. Then validate what they’re saying to you by acknowledging a specific emotion, and justify the emotion they’re feeling. It’s a simple exercise actually:
Summarize your partner’s point of view, and validate what they just said to you by saying, “I totally understand…” Repeat back to them what they just told you so that they can feel heard and see that you understand what they wanted to get across. Making your significant other feel appreciated when you want to learn how to communicate effectively is one of the absolute best gifts you can give to them.
Improving communication in marriage and relationships: Being compassionate
After all these years of working as a relationship coach, I’ve noticed a few patterns like the fact that many times, men will argue for the right to be independent, and women will argue because they want to feel heard. It’s very important to be compassionate with your partner, especially if you two are having an uncomfortable conversation. In addition to that, keep in mind that man women will actually talk about their problems to build an emotional connection and not necessarily to hear solutions.
So, many times, people who vent or complain already know how to handle their current situation; they’re just looking for someone to be there and validate what they’re feeling at the moment.
When it comes to communication in relationship, show your partner that you care about them to open their heart to you and start to communicate again. If you shut them down whenever they try to communicate with you, it’s going to create a negative pattern that’s only going to create more of a divide between you.
So encourage your partner to tell you what they’re feeling and what they would need in order to be happy. When they do, you need to do more than just show the you hear the words that they are speaking to you and you have to make them see that you are connecting with the emotions they are feeling. Don’t let them feel that you’re taking them for granted and make sure you love them like you know you could lose them.
Make sure don’t keep tabs after arguments and that you let go of resentment. Don’t live in the past and work together to create a gratifying future for yourselves. You can do this by giving them genuine compliments on a regular basis and by being careful to not think of your relationship as a problem that needs to be resolved. Remind yourself why you are together!