Dating in today’s day and age has become a bit more complicated than it was in the past. With the development of dating apps, social media, and the way our society operates, i’ve noticed an increase of people with commitment issues.
There are just so many options available to us all the time that it becomes difficult to make the decision to commit to one person… Unless that person shows you that they’re something special.
Because this is such a common topic, I’ve decided to write this article for you today on how to get him to commit. It’s not as hard as a lot of people might thing it is, but it definitely requires a fair amount of self control.
Once you master the tips and tools I’m going to go over in this article, you’re going to be able to get any man you’re seriously interested in want to commit to you. It’s all about understanding male psychology and what types of things make men want to invest in a serious relationship with someone.
When you develop intense feelings for someone, it becomes very easy to inadvertently put pressure on the situation and end up pushing him away. So let’s take a look at what you can do to make this guy want to commit to you!
How to get him to commit: Understanding the key
The solution to this problem is actually quite simple, but it’s very hard for many people to set into motion. It’s really one of those “Easier said than done” situations.
If you really want to know how to get him to commit, this is the main thing you need to remember. You can get him to commit by not forcing him to commit!
Yes, I know how counterintuitive that sounds, but it’s the key to success. The more pressure you place on a guy, the more likely he is to want to get away and put some distance between you.
The thing we need to keep in mind is that women, as a general rule, like titles and labels, whereas men don’t operate in the same way. Women like commitment and relationships, and it makes perfect sense because it’s in their DNA.
If you think about it from an evolutionary standpoint, the men were the ones that needed to “spread their seed,” whereas the women were the nurturers. Some of these traits have trickled down throughout the course of evolution, and men still have a certain desire to have many doors open to them.
So when it comes to committing to one woman, he needs to feel that she’s unlike all the rest.
Women would like a sense of stability and reliability in the relationship, but we need to make sure that both of you are on the same page. In other words, you both need to feel equally inspired by the relationship. So how can we achieve this?
How to get him to commit to dating exclusively: Jennifer’s story
One of my clients, Jennifer, came to me for help because she really wanted her man to commit. She was constantly begging him to be her boyfriend and at first, he would respond with, “Let’s just take it slow and see where it goes.”
She continued to place pressure on him (without even realizing it) and a few months down the line, his response turned into, “Listen, I think we want different things and I don’t think I can give you what you want.”
Unfortunately, this would result in argument after argument and Jennifer wound up feeling incredibly frustrated and confused about his behavior and his reactions. She knew that they were wonderfully compatible, they had so much fun together, and she knew that he loved her, so why was he saying this?
Why was he convinced that he “Couldn’t give her what she needed?” And why wouldn’t he express the love he had for her in the way that she needed? She felt like she wasn’t asking anything over the top of him. She had said to me, “It’s like I’m trying to figure out how to get him to commit to marriage right now!
I just want him to be in an actual relationship with me. We are sharing all the elements of a relationship so I don’t get why he won’t call me his girlfriend.”
When Jennifer and I began working together, I explained that men and women view commitment in different ways and that the more she rushes him, the less likely he will be to commit.
Men, and people in general, rarely commit to relationships that they feel they’re being forced into. However, she refused to listen and she continued to pester and pressure him until it all culminated in a breakup.
Shortly after their relationship ended, she reached out to me again and this time she was willing to try whatever I suggested. Again, I explained that the more she rushed him, the less likely he would be to want to commit to being in a relationship with her.
So we began working on HER. Not the relationship, not his issues with commitment, not the breakup, but Jennifer. After lots of personal development in terms of well being and confidence, she wrote her ex a letter in which she took accountability for incessantly pressuring him to commit.
She explained that her need to be in a relationship stemmed from insecurities she had as an individual, and it had little to do with him. In the end, he replied to her letter by asking to meet her.
Slowly, they started to hang out again, but this time, she didn’t dare pressure him or the relationship. Shortly after, I received the most rewarding email from Jennifer, where she shared that this casual approach worked! They’re now committed and moving in together.
How to get him to commit to a serious relationship: taking things slow
So as you can see, giving a guy the space he needs, and letting the relationship develop naturally are going to get you the results you want. This is what I was talking about in terms of needing to practice self control. If you let the desire to make a man commit control you, you run the risk of behaving in a way that’s going to make him want to run in the opposite direction. Which of course is entirely counterproductive.
Some people might say that men only want one thing and they’ll never commit, but I can confidently tell you that that is not the case. I’ve been doing this line of work for a very long time now and I can say that a man will commit when he feels inspired rather than pressured. We want him to look at you and realize that you’re unlike all the rest and that he’d be a fool to not want to be your partner!
How to get him to commit to only you: Patience
Giving him space and time are your best allies right now. Not only will they help the relationship develop naturally, they’re going to paint you in an attractive light. As you saw in the story I shared above, the moment a guy feels pressured, he’ll pull away.
Many guys are petrified by labels and the pressures of commitment (especially if they’ve had negative experiences in the past), so just take things slow. You’ll get him to commit faster just by not rushing him.
How to get him to commit to you by building him up
It’s important to keep in mind that men like to feel empowered by their partners and not broken down or reprimanded for their behavior. If you catch yourself reprimanding your partner for his inability to commit right now, then I encourage working on being supportive of him on his journey, understanding his lifestyle and timelines. This is a great way to encourage a man to commit to you.
I have worked with enough people in this situation to be able to say that criticizing him will do the exact opposite. Don’t ever break your man down because he’ll only resent you for it and pull further away.
Allow him to enjoy and engage in his interests, even if you’re not a huge fan of them yourself. For example, a lot of guys love to play video games and a lot of women get mad at their partners for spending their time playing video games instead of spending time together. If you really want your man to commit, let him indulge in what he likes, and instead of pulling him away from playing video games, sit down beside him and try to learn what the game is all about. If your man sees you excited by his interests, he’ll want to spend more time with you, and he’ll want to commit!
How to get him to commit to a relationship with only you: Confidence
Whenever there is needy or clingy behavior on one person’s part, it is usually rooted in a lack of self confidence. Confidence is a very attractive trait and when it is not present, it puts a person at risk for putting pressure on the other person to commit. The solution is actually to work on inspiring the other person to WANT to commit to you, and developing a solid sense of self confidence is the key to successfully doing that.
Be desirable through your body language
If you’re still wondering, “How can I get him to commit,” keep this in mind. Another good way to make someone want to spend more time with you is to pay attention to body language and non verbal messages. This also goes hand in hand with the concept of self confidence.
Make sure that you’re fun and easy going, and that this man can associate you with positive experiences. If you’re nagging him or pressuring him, he’s not going to want to spend time with yo. So when you’re together, smile and match his body position. Make eye contact and be tactile with him so that you can establish intimacy without words.
Take care of yourself physically as well. Hit the gym and boost your self confidence, and you can even go out and buy new lingerie that makes you feel sexy. The better you feel about yourself, the easier it will be to get him to commit to you.
How to get him to commit to dating exclusively is easier than you might think
It all boils down to letting things develop naturally, not placing pressure on him, and working on your inner sense of self confidence. Like I said at the very beginning of this article, you can get a guy to commit to you by not forcing him to commit to you!
Don’t let your desire for labels rush things between you and this man, and spend your time being busy with activities that benefit you. Little by little, you’ll start to attract him back to you and he’ll want to get closer.
Even if you’re trying to figure out how to get a guy to commit after sleeping with him or how to get a guy to commit to a long distance relationship, it all boils down to being able to make him see that you’re something special. You can surprise him by acting in a way that he was not expecting – especially if you already pressured him a bit.
Take a step back so that you can let this relationship breathe and develop on its own, and you’ll see that this will actually lay the groundwork for a much more solid relationship in the future.
As always, we are here to help so I invite you to join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform this relationship into something incredible. If you would like one on one guidance from me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here! You can also leave any questions you may have in the comments section below and it would be our pleasure to personally respond to you.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to get him to commit,