When two people have been together for a long time, it’s not unusual for things to start feeling monotonous and predictable, so knowing how to get your wife in the mood is going to be very important. You want to make sure that the spark is maintained in the relationship and you want to ensure that she feels excited to be with you! Not only will this ensure that you have memorable moments spent together on a regular basis, it’s something that is going to serve your relationship in the long run.
I work with so many people who come to me saying that they’re having trouble figuring out how to get their wife or girlfriend in the mood, but I want you to rest assured that it’s not an impossible task – even if you don’t feel that you’ve figured out the magic formula yet.
Generally speaking, men usually have an easier time getting into the mood than women, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do things that will get your wife in the mood on a regular basis!
In today’s article, I’m going to go over the things you can do to increase the romance in your relationship and make your wife desire you so that you can keep the flame burning in your relationship even when the honeymoon period has passed.
Many of the people I work with in my one on one coaching sessions come to me because the romance has started to dwindle in their relationship. They have been with their wife for a long time and things have started to feel a little too routine.
Unfortunately, this is an extremely common problem. People start to get too comfortable in their relationships with their significant others and they stop making time for seduction and attraction.
It’s not malicious, but they just feel that they have an established relationship with their partners so there isn’t really a need to go out of their way to preserve and/or increase the sexual tension between them.
What ends up happening here is that the other person starts to feel bored or worse still, taken for granted. The more a person feels taken for granted or unappreciated, the easier it is for them to drift away from their partner.
So not only are romance and intimacy important for maintaining fun and excitement, they are also a crucial element of a fulfilling relationship that is going to withstand the test of time.
Now, let’s take a look at how exactly to get your wife in the mood!
The biggest complaint that people who have been together for a long time tend to have is the fact that things start to feel really predictable after a while. The exciting thing about the beginning of the relationship was that everything felt so new!
So one of the things that I remind my clients of on a regular basis is that you can still make things feel fresh and fun, even if you’ve been together for a long time.
What’s more, a lot of people tend to think that they can’t make things feel new and exciting anymore because they already know each other so well. I have good news – this is actually totally false and you have an advantage…
The fact that you know your wife so well means that you know exactly what she likes, and exactly what she expects, which means that you have everything you need in order to surprise her!
Which brings me to my first point.
You two have already established a routine when it comes to the bedroom, so now it’s time to switch things up. If you’ve never explored both of your fantasies, now would be the opportune time to do it! If you don’t feel like you have any particular fantasies, you and your wife could explore that road together.
This should be fun and exhilarating for both of you, so just make sure that you are both comfortable with whatever you’re doing. There are so many things you can explore here!
For example, think about surprising her with a hotel booked for the night, or a date night where she feels special. Avoid the usual dinner and a movie – think of something you two haven’t done before!
By the way, one thing to keep in mind when you’re thinking about how to get your wife in the mood again is that adrenaline is closely linked to arousal.
The greater adrenaline rush you can experience with someone, the easier it is to conjure up feelings of sexual desire and excitement. So why not make a date that involves riding a roller coaster or doing something like surfing or even parachuting!
Just think about what kind of things would bring your relationship out of the routine and fill it up with a feeling of freshness. The more you can surprise your wife with things that feel new, the more likely she will be to be in the mood.
How to make your girlfriend miss you & want to spend more time with you!
Following in line with my previous point about the importance of the element of surprise and maintaining a sense of excitement, if you are hoping to have more sex with your wife, be open to trying new things with AND without her.
Always strive to share new experiences, but you also need to make sure that you have a gratifying personal life. If your wife feels that you’re always around, yearning for her to make the first move, she isn’t going to find it very sexy.
So instead, make sure that you’ve got plenty of interesting things going on in your personal life that make you feel excited about your own life. Make time for your passions, your hobbies, physical exercise, and anything else that makes your life feel richer. This will give her the opportunity to miss you and crave your presence, it will ensure that you have plenty of interesting things to share and tell her about when you’re together, and it’s going to make you even more attractive in her eyes. When she sees you stepping out of your comfort zone and accomplishing things, she’s going to be much more attracted to you.
Just make sure that you’re also making time to spend time together. Very often, people that have been together for a long time end up living separate, parallel lives under the same roof without realizing the disconnect. Always make sure that you’re aware of this and go out of your way to reconnect with her.
Intimacy is a fantastic way to do this, so you’re already on the right track by reading this article!
Romance should never be overlooked when you’re searching for how to get your wife in the mood. If you can show her that you’ve put time and effort into wooing her, she will respond positively.
You can plan a weekend getaway to a neighboring city where you two can just spend some quality time together. This is especially powerful if you’re someone who has found themselves thinking, “My wife is not interested in sex.” Very often, the issue at hand is the monotony of the situation, so the solution lies in hitting the reset button by introducing some novelty.
Now, this does not mean that you’re going to have to make these grandiose gestures on a regular basis! You can just sprinkle some in here and there to establish a new dynamic in the relationship. Romance and intimacy don’t have to go hand in hand with emptying your wallet! You can figure out how to please your wife simply by taking the time to think about what kind of things you could do that show her that you’ve been thinking about her and you want to make her happy.
Time is so precious and we really don’t have enough of it, so make a conscious effort to make time for your wife. Set aside time where you are alone together, where you aren’t on your phones, where you don’t have distractions…
Make date nights and incorporate the elements I went over above. Compliment your wife and show her that she’s desirable. Take your time with her, enjoy the moment and make your date special.
You can even block off time in your schedule every single week and set that time aside for a date with her. The more special she feels in your eyes, the easier it will be to get her in the mood.
There is definitely a sweet spot to hit when it comes to making time for each other, and this goes hand in hand with what I was talking about above. Make sure you have your own things going on as well so that you can ensure that you two have the opportunity to miss each other and savor the moments that you share together.
If you feel that the romance is dying out or is altogether gone in your relationship, don’t panic. Sometimes these challenging periods serve as blessings in disguise because they give you a little electroshock that serves as a catalyst for positive change. When you realize how much a person means to you and what you’re willing to do to keep them and make them happy, you start to do things that can completely transform the relationship.
So if right now, your wife is not interested in sex, the key will be to make things start feeling fresh again. The solution lies in stepping out of the routine and doing things that make the relationship feel fun and exciting again.
I encourage you to think outside the box, work on really surprising your wife, and show her that you’re thinking of ways to keep things feeling new. Innovation is going to be your best friend right now.
You don’t need to spend large sums of money on grandiose gestures all the time to get your wife in the mood, but think about showing her that you went out of your way to plan something enjoyable for her. Remember what I said about adrenaline – it’s a great way to boost a rush of emotions that can lead to arousal and sexual desire. What’s more, it gives you the opportunity to create new memories that reinforce the bond between you.
Always think about how you can create lasting memories and it will increase the complicity between you, and the closer you feel, the easier it will be to get your wife in the mood.
In addition to all of this, make sure that you’re taking care of yourself and that you ensure that your sense of self confidence is solid. Hit the gym, present yourself well, and value yourself. Not only will this make you feel great, it will make you even more attractive in the eyes of your partner.
As all relationships are unique, please dont hesitate to reach out for one on one guidance. Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way. As a team of dedicated love and relationship coaches, we are here to accompany you from A to Z.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to get your wife in the mood
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4 Responses
Hey, to be honest, I loved the way you’ve shaped this post. It is not only written in simple language that can be understood by people who have not done their Masters in English Literature but also in a friendly style. I have always loved to read your blog posts and hence I keep coming back for more. Everytime I visit your website, I am always welcomed with a new interesting post. Thanks. Keep them coming!
Hi there, thank you for your comment. We appreciate that! Our goal is to share all our expertise and make it accessible to everyone who can benefit from it, and we are happy hear that it resonates. Wishing you all the very best!
I feel you’ve missed a few things here. One of the reasons she’s not wanting sex could be…exhaustion. Take some of the pressure off her by rolling your sleeves up and tackling some of the chores. Give her time in the evening to rest and wind down. Help her get things under control around the house and free her mind from distractions. Don’t expect her to jump right into sex the minute she’s finished cleaning the kitchen. This is vitally important for me and I’m sure a lot of other women will appreciate this too.
Get off the “chores” thing. The reality is, doing literally nothing all day or completely busy, the ‘ I’m tired ‘ is a default phrase that everyone knows simply means I don’t wish to have sex with you now. Some women are likely to want to physically or sexually satisfy their husband just like some men are willing to do the same for women ( in the form of back rubs every night/all the cleaning ) it’s a matter of if you like to see your spouse happy and give them pleasure, or if you naturally find that a burden or something you “have to do” rather than want to do.