Arguments are a fact of life. Though they might be frustrating, it’s going to serve you to be able to navigate through them in a productive manner, especially when we are talking about the one you love.
As a love and relationship coach specialized in helping people’s relationships thrive, there are certain pointers that I can give you to teach you how to handle couple arguments in the best way.
A disagreement doesn’t have to turn into a full-blown fight and I know that it’s sometimes hard for people to diffuse the problem before it turns into a bigger issue that ends up leaving both people furious.
But practice makes perfect and if you two can develop new habits, it will begin to feel very natural for you to be able to solve issues quickly so that you can carry on with being happy and in love!
That’s where we come in. It is our goal at Happily Committed to provide you with tips and tools to help you coach yourself through any issue that arises in your relationship. Whether it is through our articles, our one on one coaching sessions or our YouTube Channel, we are here to guide you from A to Z.
How to handle couple arguments and help your relationship
One of the biggest things I can tell you is that timing is everything. I know how tempting it is to want to lay it all out in the moment and fight to make your point the second you feel frustrated by your partner’s point of view or approach. It’s much more productive if you can let the situation breathe before diving into it.
For example, let’s say that your partner does something that ticks you off. Instead of launching yourself into attack mode, it would be better to take a step back, do something else to get your mind off of the situation and then return to it.
Give yourself the opportunity to cool off and collect your thoughts on the subject before you approach your partner because this makes it much easier to handle it in a more productive way.
All too often I see people pointing the finger at each other, saying things like “I hate it when you…,” or “You always…”
Inadvertently, they will use the word “you” as a weapon and make their partner go into defense mode. If you can adjust your approach and talk about it in a more productive way that reminds your partner that you two are operating as a team, you’ll see that it will become easier to diffuse couple arguments.
Empathy is your best friend if you want to avoid couples arguments
Being able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes will save you an incredible amount of grief. Really challenge yourself to understand their point of view and where they are coming from.
When you can think about how something makes a person feel, it will become much easier to talk to them about it in a way that feels more productive. When a person feels understood they will be much less likely to lash out or interact with you in a negative way.
Again, it’s all about working together to find solutions together.
Of course, it isn’t always easy to get into another person’s head and understand what they are feeling and why they are feeling this way! But this is where communication comes into play.
If you are curious about the best tools to help improve communication in your relationship and thereby strengthen your bond, I highly recommend reading this article. In it, you will find in-depth information on how to develop seamless communication in your relationship, and it will provide you with some exercises to help in successfully doing this.
Now, if you’re having trouble understanding your partner and their reasoning behind their stance on a certain topic, ask questions! For example, ask, ‘Why are you feeling this way and what could I have done differently to have prevented this argument?”
Similarly, if your partner doesn’t understand you, work on helping him or her understand. Everyone can learn to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and oftentimes, it’s really just about practice. Not all of us have grown up learning how to do this so there is often a bit of a learning curve.
You can help with this by (gently) asking things like, “How do you imagine that this makes me feel?” Or, “What do you feel your wording means to me?”
If you find that you’ve been struggling with making your voice heard and you’ve been feeling insecure in your relationship, I encourage you to download our special product designed to build your sense of self-confidence.
The more you two are able to understand where the other is coming from, the easier it will be to understand how to handle couple arguments.
Avoiding couple arguments takes time
As this article on how to handle couple arguments comes to a close, I want to leave you with one last tidbit of useful information. I’ve noticed that a great number of clients panic when there is an argument or a disagreement, especially when the solution has not been found.
Here’s the thing. You don’t have to find resolve immediately. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of time for both sides to process the situation and find solutions. If you can give it time and work together, as I said above, you two can find longterm solutions and this is always preferable over putting a bandaid on the problem.
The problem with putting bandaids on problems is that it feels like you’re just sweeping an issue under the rug instead of really figuring out a proper solution. What often ends up happening is that it feels easier to keep it under the rug instead of bringing it back up in the future, until something triggers it and makes things worse than they needed to be.
So I highly encourage you to take the time to process each person’s side, practice empathy, and work together towards finding longterm solutions that will protect your relationship with the one you love.
As always, we are here to help so please don’t hesitate to reach out for one on one coaching. To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here. Join the Happily Committed Project and transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love.
Your coach when you want to know how to handle a couple argument,