The most common reason behind a lack of communication in relationships is a person’s upbringing. We all receive different types of educations in our families, and these communication tools aren’t always compatible with the person we choose to be with romantically.
The result of course is that it can easily end up feeling like you’re speaking two different languages and you can’t seem to get on the same page about important topics. The more this happens, the more distance develops between you, and the easier it is for tensions to arise. Another issue that I see on a regular basis is that people inadvertently expect their significant other to read their minds.
Something might be bothering them and instead of making an effort to openly talk about it, they just feel like their partner “should know” what’s wrong and make the necessary changes, or at least initiate the conversation that needs to happen.
This reminds me of one of my coaching sessions with Sarah, who had contacted me for help regarding the communication problems she and her boyfriend, Charlie, were experiencing. Whenever he was upset about something, he would clam up and start to pout, but he would never outright say that something was wrong. He viewed it as keeping his problems to himself so that they wouldn’t be a burden on her, but she was still comforted with the sudden shift in his attitude that made things feel very tense between them.
She told me that it felt like she was walking on eggshells and didn’t quite know how to approach the situation.
As we worked together, they essentially had to re-train themselves to foster healthy communication in a relationship so that they would learn how to create an environment in which both people felt safe to express themselves and feel heard. It took some changes from both of them, but they were motivated and wanted to save their relationship, and after incorporating the tips and tools that I am going to go over in this article, I am happy to say that they are now happier than ever. In fact, I received this from her not too long ago:
Thanks to your help I’m a lot more conscious about relationship issues and I also know that my purpose in life is what I need to put my focus on. Not only have your coaching sessions helped me with my romantic relationship with Charlie, but they have also guided me in the direction of personal development and improving my relationships with family and friends!
The thing about communication in relationships is that these skills will serve you in all aspects of your life. So, hats off to you for seeking out an article that is going to help you make a positive shift in your romantic relationships, but also in your relationships with your family and the people you encounter on a day to day basis. When you are proactive and work on protecting and reinforcing a relationship, it is something really special and it is so important.
Think about it this way – It’s like going to see your physician for your yearly checkup. Advice on love and relationships is not something to only seek out when you’re in trouble or you need to put the pieces back together. It is always beneficial to seek out information on how to reinforce your relationship and keep it strong by learning how to fix a lack of communication.
So now that we’ve gone over the causes of lack of communication in a relationship, let’s take a look at how to fix it.