We have created the Happily Committed Project to help people do just that: to stay happily committed to one another and to create and maintain a fulfilling relationship. It is our goal to provide you with all the tips and tools you need to help you create a truly wonderful marriage and to protect it against the test of time.
So one of the most common topics that we work on with our clients is how to keep a marriage strong. People know that when two people have been together for a long time, it’s not unusual for things to start to feel dull. As a result, the couple can begin to drift apart but this is not what we want for you!
We want you to have a marriage that only gets stronger over time! That is precisely why I have decided to write an article for you today in which I will share 4 key points that will help you to make your marriage stronger than ever!
There are certain elements that you can incorporate into your everyday life starting today and you will see a big shift. It’s important to lay out a proper foundation so that you and your spouse can set yourselves up for success.
It’s not about making sure there are never any obstacles, it’s about knowing how to navigate through them as a team. Challenges will be inevitable, but you can make sure they don’t undermine your marriage.
A relationship can be thought of as a garden. If you don’t water it and tend to it, it will not flourish. In fact, it will begin to wilt.
But you know that because you’ve already gone out of your way to seek out information on how to keep a marriage strong! You’re already on the right path.
The first thing I want to go over with you actually has more to do with YOU than with your marriage. One of the absolute best ways to keep a marriage strong is actually to make sure that you are responsible for your own happiness.
Identify what makes you happy – what people, what activities, what places. What do you need in your life in order to feel fulfilled? What elements need to be present? Make sure you actively incorporate these things into your schedule.
In the same way, consider what your husband or wife needs in order to be happy. What are their values? What is their belief system and what elements make their life more fulfilling? The more you know about what makes them tick, the easier it will be to make them happy. In addition to this, the easier it will be to make your marriage strong.
The second tip I have for you if you want to know how to make a marriage strong is about paying attention to your spouse’s triggers. You’ve been together for a while now so you know what kinds of things get under your partner’s skin. Keep an eye out for how you can avoid doing things that you know will upset them. Trust me, these little things can do a long way.
For example, if it drives your husband or wife nuts when you leave the dirty dishes in the sink or don’t put the cap back on the tube of toothpaste, don’t do these things!
Remember that little things can accumulate and these conflicts are easy to avoid if you can try being more aware. I know that many of us are super busy and are often preoccupied with our own thoughts, but by making an effort, you can strengthen your marriage.
Another thing that I like to talk about with my clients who come to me for help in keeping their marriage strong is the importance of having common goals and shared projects. If you have a common goal, it will help bind the relationship.
You’ll be operating as a team towards something that you both want, and it doesn’t have to be anything huge! A simple example is planning a party together. Plan and coordinate something together that is going to be fun and in doing so on a regular basis, it’s going to help you grow as a couple.
Another example would be charity work where you feel that you’re making a difference and are bringing happiness to other people’s lives.
I encourage you to focus on short term goals that you can do to pave the foundation for long term goals, like creating a house and a family together.
Last but not least, when it comes to keeping your marriage strong, it’s important to communicate properly and know how to recognize the appropriate time to talk about conflict. When you’re in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to end up saying things you don’t mean that you end up regretting later on down the line.
When you’re about to lose it, it isn’t the best moment to talk about issues and find solutions together. Instead, take a moment to cool off before you address the problem. This is especially important because these are the moments in which a person is less patient, less understanding and more concerned with venting and getting their point across.
Let’s say that your partner is a workaholic and is always late to your son’s soccer games, and this drives you nuts. Instead of fighting over it the next time it happens, give them positive reinforcement the next time they make it to a game on time.
People respond much better to positive reinforcement and little changes like this in your approach can go a long way. If you tell them that their behavior had a great effect on you (and the ones you care about), they’ll have a much greater desire to reproduce this behavior again in the future because they will feel like they are being rewarded.
But if you express your needs as demands, then you become another “obligation” or “chore.” You want to enjoy your time together and you can ensure that both of you do!
But you and your husband or wife have chosen to be together for a reason! So remind yourself of that when things get challenging.
To summarize, in order to keep a marriage strong, make sure that you
1. Are responsible for your own happiness
2. Know your partner’s triggers and avoid them
3. Have common projects
4. Know when to talk about the unpleasant stuff
There are also elements like keeping the flame alive, and if you’d like to learn more about attraction and keeping things interesting, I encourage you to check out the special product we’ve created. Things don’t have to become lackluster between you and your spouse just because you’ve been married for a while!
As always, if you have any questions or would like to work with me or a member of my team for one on one guidance, all you have to do is click here. It would be our pleasure to personally guide you from A to Z.
Wishing you all the very best.
Your coach when you want to know how to keep a marriage strong,
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2 Responses
My wife’s been gone going on a month now the first few weeks we were still texting each other and I will go to her moms stay the night a couple A few nights or I would go over to watch a movie with her but now it’s like she doesn’t text me or call me I’ve been very needy didn’t really Give her space and I’ve been asking her or texting her if we could sit down and talk we don’t have kids together we’ve been together for years married three years I am so lost right now I can’t sleep I can’t eat there was times where I would pop up at her sisters house because I thought she was with another guy there was times that I popped up at her moms house thinking she was with another guy But now it’s like she’s not responding to me at all
Hi Pablo, for the time being, distance will be your biggest asset. It will give you the opportunity to get in control of your emotions, and it will give your wife the opportunity to miss you. If she feels suffocated, she will pull away and that will complicate matters further. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for coaching for an action plan.