First things first, you have every right to be upset if the person you love broke your trust by cheating on you. You’re going to have to take some time to really think about what you want from here on out. If you have chosen to forgive your significant other, you’re going to have to forgive them and keep forgiving them every single day. It’s hard, but it’s a conscious choice that you’re going to have to make on a regular basis.
Seek to regain control over your emotions before sitting down and communicating with your partner, even if this means waiting a while. Why? It’s simply because speaking too soon will just lead to a blow out argument that one or both of you might end up regretting later on. When the wound is fresh, it’s going to be hard to have calm and collected conversations about what happened and what needs to happen next. By the way, your partner is going to have to respect your need for time and space right now.
So, you can begin the affair recovery by getting in control of your emotions. The best way to do this is to begin processing what happened. What was the root of the problem?
Make sure that you and your partner are able to have open and transparent conversations about why exactly this happened. Remember, cheating is a consequence of a preexisting problem. That problem might be directly related to your relationship, but it could also be something that is linked to a person’s past.
Once you’re ready to hear about what happened, sit down and have an honest conversation with your partner. It’s not going to be fun, but if you can gather the necessary information, you’re going to be able define solutions and learn to love again with no suspicions. If you two can be honest with each other and vow to work as a team, you will be able to bounce back after the affair.
Processing the facts while detaching and gaining perspective is going to be key, and when you’re ready to define solutions and work towards them every day, make a joint commitment. Promise each other that you’re going to commit to one another, to your relationship, and to your future together.
Learn to love again after cheating happened
Though you’re in a tough period right now, it is temporary. It’s just going to require some work, but the fact that you’ve already gone out of your way to research how to rebuild trust after cheating means that you’re willing to take action.
So many people just take a easy way out and give up on their relationship, but if you’re really willing to put in the work to save this, you’re going to see that this bump in the road does not have to mean that everything is over between you. Like I said above, sometimes this type of thing actually reinforces the bond between you, proves to you how much you’re both willing to do to save this relationship, and it allows you to pave the way to a much happier relationship in the future.
As this article comes to a close, I want to go over the basic elements of how to rebuild trust so that you can start moving towards moving past infidelity once and for all.
If you are the one who cheated or had an affair, the first step is to end the affair. It’s the only way this is going to work. Work on watering the grass where you are instead of assuming that the grass is always greener on the other side. Tell your partner what they want to know, because healthy communication is achieved through honesty and transparency.
Work on understanding why you cheated and turn this crisis into an opportunity. If you can get to know what drives you and what motivated you to make this mistake, it will be much easier to avoid doing it again.
Be patient. It might take your partner a long time to feel safe being vulnerable with you, both emotionally and physically.
If your significant other is the one who cheated on you, overcome your emotions by processing what happened. You are right to be upset, but you can begin the healing process. Seek to regain control over your emotions before you speak to your partner about what happened, but when you’re ready to discuss it, work on finding out what you need to know in order to ensure that this type of thing does not happen again in the future.
Make a joint commitment to one another. Commit to implementing the changes, ad commit to stay committed in the long run. Learn to be honest and open with one another about what you need and what you want, and to voice your opinion when you feel something is lacking.
As always, we are here to help you so please don’t hesitate to reach out. By asking you targeting questions, we can define a custom action plan that will catapult you towards success in your relationship. Join the Happily Committed Project and transform your relationship after cheating in a meaningful and dignified way. All you have to do is click here to work with me or a member of my team.
Wishing you all the very best,
Your coach when you want to know how to rebuild trust after cheating