Today’s dating culture is tough to follow for so many people. It can feel close to impossible to find a real relationship when so many people are out there just coasting from one no-strings-attached relationship to the next. It can be very frustrating for someone who really wants to develop a meaningful relationship, but it can also be very disheartening.
I work with people every single day who want to learn what makes a man fall in love and commit so that they can develop a relationship that can grow into something long lasting.
So whether you have your sights set on one specific man or if you’re just curious about what men want in general, you’ve come to the right place. In today’s article, I am going to go over what makes a man fall in love and commit, and how you can set yourself up for success in all your future romantic endeavors!
So I’ll explain some of the main things that make a man pull away and what you can do to make him see you as someone that he’d want to commit to.
There are so many common mistakes that are easily avoidable, so by the time you get to the end of this article, you’re going to have a much better idea of how to make a man want to commit to you! Let’s dive right in.
Learning what makes a man fall in love and commit: The basics
Because of today’s “fast food love” culture, it has become so hard to establish meaningful relationships. We see more and more one night stands, and even if one person wants more, it isn’t uncommon for the other to not feel the same way… so what’s the magic ingredient?
What is it that makes someone feel the desire to go further and actually invest?
Well, the fact of the matter is that if you want him to commit, he needs to see you as something different – someone special, someone who stands out from all the rest…
Ok, but how do you do that? You can’t really just go up to him and say, “Hey, good news, I’m actually really cool and really different so you can stop looking.”
Similarly, if you’ve already started dating pretty regularly, there are ways to inspire him to want to commit and spend more time with you. He needs to be able to come to the realization that you’re unique on his own as a result of your actions. This is what will make him fall in love and really want to commit to this relationship.
Take my client Isabella for example. She came to me almost five months ago saying that she was having a really hard time figuring out how to make her boyfriend want to invest more in their budding relationship and wanted to know how to make him fall in love.
She explained that no matter how much she tried to spend time with him, he would just keep pulling away.
She said it was starting to feel really frustrating and tedious, for both of them! She was afraid that she was going to push him away by suffocating him, but at the same time, she didn’t know how to make him want to spend time with her. The more she approached him, the more distant he would become. I remember her saying to me, “I want a relationship in which we both meet each other halfway. I don’t want to feel like I’m begging him to spend time with me but I really don’t know what I’m doing that seems to be pushing him away. Are there signs he’s afraid to fall for me or am I actually losing him?”
We worked together over the course of a few months and were able to identify the problem. Without realizing it, Isabella was forcing him to abandon his independence and only focus on their relationship.
So as soon as we realized this, I asked her to start doing the exact opposite. If she could allow him to live his life, enjoy his interests, spend time working on his hobbies and his personal and professional goals, we would see if he would show more interest in the relationship. Sure enough, he did! The moment he started to realize that she was granting him his freedom and that she trusted him, he started to feel like spending time with Isabella was fun. Before, it had started to feel like a chore to him because she was demanding his time and attention, but now that he didn’t feel that pressure, he gravitated back towards her on his own. This completely changed the dynamic of their relationship because he associated her with positive moments spent together; not obligations.
As you can see, when it comes to what makes a man fall in love and commit, it really has to do with being careful to not place pressure on him, but inspiring him to want to spend more time with you on his own. Men have a natural tendency to place a high value on their independence and when they feel that they’re being forced to give it up, they’ll pull away. If you want to dive deeper into this concept and really attract this man even more, I encourage you to download our Attraction product. It is specifically designed to help you make a man fall for you, and to access it, all you have to do is click here!
How to make a man fall in love with you: The things to avoid
If you want to know how to make a man want you, there are a few things to keep in mind that should be avoided. Understanding how men operate is the key to understanding how men fall in love. So like I said above, a man will pull away when he’s feeling smothered or like you’re trying to control him.
This is especially true early on in the relationship when it’s still budding. If he feels like you’re pressuring him or forcing him to commit, he’ll pull away. Keep in mind that men also root their identity in their ability to provide for themselves and for their families so if you’re pressuring him to commit before he has found the way he’s going to provide for himself and for his family, he may be unwilling to commit. However, if you can give him the space he needs and if you can avoid putting pressure on him, you will start to crack the code of how to make a man commit and fall in love…
Fall in love with me: Avoid keeping tabs on him
Many people suffocate their boyfriends without realizing it simply by demanding to know where he is, what he’s doing and with whom all the time. Not only can this become tiring and frustrating very fast, it will also make him feel that you don’t trust him. So again, he’ll associate you with negativity.
We want him to feel that you are able to give him the space to figure out who he is, to spend time doing the things that are important to him, and move towards this goals. Why? Well, men tend to distance themselves from a relationship when they feel that they are being forced to pick between their lives and their partner.
Because men place such high value on being able to indulge in their interests, make sure you let your guy do this. When you do, he’ll realize that you’re confident in giving him his freedom, and he’ll want to share more with you. He’ll have more to tell you about, and he’ll be excited to tell you or show you what kind of things he cares about in his free time.
So a simple example is also a very common one. I know that a ton of guys enjoy playing video games and it drives their partners nuts. But little things like these can actually add up and make quite a difference, so the next time your guy wants to play video games when you’d rather spend quality time together, try sitting beside him while he plays or even try your hand at it with him, instead of forcing him to turn it off.
How to make a man fall in love: Avoid nagging
Unfortunately, nagging is another thing that often rears its ugly head in a relationship. Many people do it without realizing it, especially when it comes from a place of love.
You want him to be healthy so you remind him that he probably shouldn’t be eating that bowl of ice-cream at 10pm, you want him to spend more time with you so you comment on how much time he spends going out with the boys instead of with you, you miss him so you send him text after text even when you know he might be busy with something…
Be mindful of this behavior because men recoil from nagging and it can really damage your relationship. So if you want to know how to get a man to fall in love and commit to you, challenge yourself to go out and try a new activity to get your mind off of the relationship for a bit. The busier you are with your own things, the better. This way, you won’t have the time to feel like you might not be getting the attention you want, you’ll be filling your time with something that serves you and makes you happy, and it gives your boyfriend the opportunity to miss you! On top of that, when you’re back in the same place, you’ll have more interesting things to share with each other. This is also true for those of you that have someone special in mind that you’re hoping to be with in the near future – it’s easy to fixate on them, but the busier you are with your own things going on, the less attention you will give him. And yes, it’s true, the less attention you give a guy, the more attractive you become, simply because it makes you seem less attainable.
Men and commitment: What men want
As you’ve understood from the sections above, the keys to making a man fall in love and want to commit lie in allowing him to be himself and continue enjoying the activities that are of interest to him. Men really don’t like to be pinned down, so if you can show him that you aren’t constantly demanding his time and attention, he will take note and this can go a long way.
In addition to this, make sure you let the relationship develop at a steady, natural pace. You cannot force a man to fall in love! It’s something that happens over time, as he begins to see that you really are something special.
There will be things about him that you don’t particularly love because no one is perfect. So instead of trying to change him, learn to accept him for the person he is and give him unconditional love.
When he’s dealing with something in his personal life or at work, learn to not take things personally. Instead, learn to help him let off steam. You can propose physical activity that helps him clear his mind. Be there for him when he is seeking, and learn to be vulnerable with him the right way and express what you feel and want. This is how you can start to create a balanced and happy relationship!
Remember that both people need the freedom to be themselves, to pursue their own goals, and feel respected. That is why I always stress the importance of space, affection, respect, understanding, and intimacy in relationships.
It all boils down to granting him freedom and filling up your own life with activities that bring you happiness as well. It will help you to steer clear of nagging or begging for his attention, he will recognize that you have a very rich life as well, and you two can flourish side by side.
I know that it’s hard to navigate these waters at the beginning of a relationship, so don’t forget that we are here to help. Join the Happily Committed project and learn how to turn this budding relationship into something meaningful and long-lasting. You can make him fall in love and commit to you and experience the relationship of your dreams. To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here. If you have any questions at all, don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love
Your coach when you want to know what makes a man fall in love and commit,