Alright, so now let’s get into the nitty-gritty. There are a couple of things to keep in mind when it comes to how to save a marriage that is falling apart, and the very first thing I want to bring your attention to is that this period can be an incredible blessing in disguise. I work with clients who are trying to save a marriage every single day and there is a fascinating phenomenon that I have observed over the years. Truth be told, sometimes this is exactly what a couple needs in order to provide them with an electroshock that sets their relationship out on a new path. A path that leads to long-term happiness, stability, and fulfillment. You see, when things fall apart, you have the opportunity to put them back together in a new way.
When two people are together for a long time, it’s not uncommon for things to get off-track. Remember how happy you used to be? You’ve seen the potential that this relationship has – don’t panic if you’ve veered off-course. It’s time to talk about how to do this!
The first tip I have for you has to do with focusing on yourself. It may sound counterintuitive, but the truth is that you cannot make another person happy if you are not happy within yourself. This is part of the foundation of a happy relationship. By focusing on yourself, it gives you a chance to analyze the situation from an outside perspective. It’s very hard to get a 360-degree view of the situation if you’re the middle of it. In addition to that, it gives you the opportunity to reconnect with yourself by finding your passions again. This is how you become happier and more fulfilled in your personal life, and this will positively affect your relationship!
When you see your marriage falling apart, the second step has to do with creating support around you. People need to feel like they have a community or a place that they can go to in order to feel supported. If you are in a situation right now where you are witnessing your marriage falling apart, having a community of people that you can rely on is incredibly important. That said, you need to be careful with how much information you share about your situation at home. If you are talking about all the problems in your marriage with all of your friends and family, they are going to side with you. The thing to keep in mind with this is that you could wind up in a situation where the people that love you become so protective of you, that they will all tell you to leave your marriage. This can cause more issues for you and put more pressure on you and your marriage. Their support can be in the form of time spent together doing things that make you happy.
What to do when your marriage is falling apart: Communication and accountability
We touched on this a bit above. Communication is a crucial element of a healthy relationship and it is the key to a successful marriage. When communication is not present, it is impossible to connect. When you’re fighting to save a marriage, keeping lines of communication open is essential.
In many cases, however, the lack of communication is actually the reason a marriage is crumbling. If this is the case for you, it means that it’s time to establish a new way of communicating. The first part of this will be to write down a list of what you want to get across. Make this a priority, because this is how you will be able to express yourself and your needs to your partner. Encourage your partner to do the same, so that you can then come together and talk about what you both need in the relationship and what kind of solutions you can begin to incorporate.
Part of communication is accountability. I know that many of us struggle with and don’t like admitting when we’re wrong or that we are a part of the problem, but it’s important to remember that no one is perfect. When marriages start to fall apart, we need to remember that relationships are a two-way road and that it is very rare for only one person to be responsible for everything that has gone wrong. A marriage is a team, and both of you need to work together to right past wrongs. When you (both!) are able to take responsibility and be accountable for past mistakes, it becomes infinitely easier to work together to define solutions as well.
How to save your marriage when it’s falling apart: Empathy, respect and sharing
When things are tense in your marriage, it becomes dangerously easy to your partner with hostility and disrespect their views and perceptions. It is okay, and it is healthy to question your partner’s point of view on various things, but it is crucial to do so in a way that shows respect. It is not helpful to continually challenge your partner or dismiss their thoughts and opinions.
I know you want to be respected as well, and mutual respect is crucial. In order to have that, you need to have empathy for one another. So I encourage you to put yourself in your partner’s shoes every single day. This is the best way to try to understand them and work with them.
At this point, we need to work on bringing you closer together, and a good tool for this is sharing a project. When you’re in a marriage, it is often challenging to find quality time to spend together. It’s hard to share an activity, but it is something that needs to be prioritized if you want to save your marriage when it is falling apart. Sharing activities, hobbies, and projects help you to create memories together, and when you create memories together, you start to bond more. Positive memories act like anchors in a relationship, and this is one of the keys for saving a marriage! It is part of the growth of intimacy.
So even if it seems like you don’t have much time to share activities, I invite you to make it a priority. You will see the positive effect it has on your relationship.
One of the biggest things that we need to keep in mind when we are working on saving a relationship is that you both need to cultivate a space in which you both feel safe to communicate your needs. To do so, you have to be vulnerable with one another. You have to be open and honest, and not be afraid to share. If you are vulnerable and you are allowing your spouse in, then they will see that they can do the same for you. He or she will be more willing to reciprocate that, and will be more open, honest, and transparent with you.
Creating a comfortable environment like this is something that will help you to establish communication and a healthy connection. The more you communicate, the easier it becomes.
You also have to prioritize teamwork. It’s very important to take care of your own needs and analyze how you’re feeling, but you absolutely have to work as a team to fix this marriage. You are both your own individuals, and within this marriage, you are a team working towards the same goals. it is not one person against the other. It is both of you against the problem!
By starting to solve those problems together, you start to set a new precedent.
The last tip I have for you has to do with the phrase, “Actions speak louder than words.” This is incredibly true. If your marriage is falling apart, I want you to understand that actions are going to speak louder than words, now more than ever! If you or your partner is having trouble trusting in this relationship and the foundation feels unstable, then you both need to make sure that you are communicating and that you are both following up your words with concrete actions. by doing this, you will cultivate consistency, which leads to trust, which then leads to stability. These are crucial elements of a relationship that needs to be rebuilt when things are falling apart.
How to save a marriage: Starting fresh
As this article comes to a close, I want reiterate the fact that we are here to work with you if you need. To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here.
To summarize what we went over in today’s article, let’s take a look at the different tools you have available for saving a marriage that is falling apart.
First, take some time to focus on yourself so that you can restore personal happiness and wellbeing
Communication: Communication is a pillar of healthy relationships.
Accountability: Relationships are a two way road.
Empathy: Put yourself in your partner’s shoes every single day.
Respect: Don’t belittle or dismiss your partner’s thoughts and opinions.
Sharing activities: Sharing activities creates positive memories that serve as anchors in the relationship.
Vulnerability: Cultivate a.sense of openness so that you can share with one another in a productive way
Teamwork: It is not one person against the other; it is both of you against the problem.
Actions speak louder than words: Make sure your words are always followed up by actions.
The fact that you’ve already sought out this article means that you are on the right track. Nothing will change if you aren’t motivated, but this shows that you are.
I am very excited for the next chapter of your relationship!
I wish you all the very best in life and love.
Your coach when you want to know how to save a marriage that is falling apart