What I want to stress is the fact that you do not need to feel hopeless. Our entire philosophy is based on the principal of unity and helping people figure this out. Something that I like to remind my clients of is that very often, situations like this are huge blessings in disguise and they can be the catalyst for very positive changes.
I know that it may not feel like that right now, but very often, a couple needs to go through a very challenging period in order to set out on a new path. In essence, it is the electroshock that a couple needs in order to highlight what’s going wrong, and what needs to change. When a person realizes that they are about to lose the one they love, they will begin to take action. Fortunately, this is where you are at right now. Your wife will get there too, trust me.
So, let’s take a look at what needs to happen now!
When your wife is giving up on your marriage, the answer often lies in attraction. We need to zero in on the way that you are presenting yourself to her. do you have the confidence and the sense of wellbeing that are necessary to attract your wife back to you? If not, this is the first thing we need to work on.
I encourage you to take a look at where you can start making some improvements in your personal life. Whether it is spending more time at the gym, devoting more time to accomplishing your personal and professional goals, stepping out of your comfort zone, or doing things that you’ve always wanted to try, the better you feel in your life, the more attracted to you your wife will be.
We need her to gravitate back towards you, and this happens by feeling proud of what you bring to the table. I know that this may sound counterintuitive right now because you probably feel like you should be talking to her and expressing how much you care about her… But keep in mind that we need to lay a solid foundation for restoring your marriage.
This entails practicing empathy and being able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. What is it that makes her tick? Communication is your biggest ally here. I see so many couples that struggle with communication and this creates a huge rift in their relationship. For this reason, I often suggest that clients use a technique called mirroring. It is incredibly simple and yet, incredibly effective. The point of it is to make sure that you understand what your partner is saying to you and to make sure that she knows that she’s getting through to you.
When you mirror, you basically repeat what your wife expressed to you back to her. For example, “Okay, so what you’re saying is that you would like us to spend more quality time together? This way, she can confirm that you’ve understood what she is trying to say and she can feel heard. One of the biggest problems I see in marriages that are falling apart is that the two people aren’t talking to communicate; they’re talking to get their own point across. As you can imagine, this only makes things worse.
So my advice to you is this: Make sure your partner feels heard and understood, even if it means you must hear a bit of criticism. By accepting her frustration, you can determine the ways in which you can fix the issues and ease her frustration, and consequently save your relationship.