As you’ve come to understand, overcoming insecurity has to do with building self-confidence, and self-confidence comes from a sense of accomplishment. So, the more things you do, the better you feel. If you want to become more secure within yourself and within this relationship, you have to work on becoming more secure with yourself by doing things that will make you feel proud to be the person that you are! You can start to work on this by setting short term, medium-term, and long term goals for yourself. Think about goals that you are confident that you can achieve and then watch your confidence and self-esteem grow!
For example, let’s take professional goals for example. Where do you want to be two years from now? And to get to that goal, where would you need to be one year from now? To reach that goal, where would you need to be 6 months from now? And 3 months from now? 1 month from now? So then what can you start doing this week so start working towards your goal for next month?
You can do this one step at a time, and as you start to see developments in your life, you will start to feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment that will begin to dissolve your feelings of insecurity. In addition to this, overcoming insecurity is all about focusing on things that you can control. You can start by cutting out negative people from your life. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones that make you doubt yourself, the ones that put down others, and the ones that give you a feeling of inferiority or self-doubt.
Then, pay attention to your body language. Many people don’t realize that you can actually train your mind to react in a different way by focusing on your body. This is why we always stress the importance of physical exercise! But confidence also comes from your posture, making eye contact with people, smiling, not crossing your arms, and standing up tall. If you’re presenting yourself in a way that makes you feel smaller (hunched over, arms crossed, eyes low, etc.), you’re going to feel considerably less assertive and confident. Challenge yourself to keep an eye on this starting now!
Always remember to prioritize self-compassion and silence the inner critic. Instead of listening to that negative voice, work on using that voice as fuel for making yourself better. Focus on the things you do well, your quality traits and attributes. What are the things that people compliment you on? Surround yourself with people that lift you up and inspire you. Make sure that you keep your independence and spend your time with people that make you genuinely happy, and fill up your schedule with activities that give you a sense of accomplishment. Think about your hobbies, your passions, your goals, things you’ve always wanted to try… Don’t be afraid to stretch your comfort zone and challenge yourself daily! The more you accomplish, the less insecure you will feel. And my friends, always celebrate small victories.