This is an important question to ask. So often, I see people’s emotions get the better of them and cloud their judgment, so they don’t even have the perspective to ask themselves if their marriage is worth saving.
They’ll stop at nothing to save the marriage even if they know deep down that it isn’t right for them. Sometimes we see this in cases where there is a toxic relationship or emotional dependency.
That said, I know that finding a concrete answer to the question, “Is marriage worth saving” is incredibly difficult. You’ve invested time and love into this relationship and it’s never easy to pull the plug.
My intention behind writing today’s article is to provide you with some insight that will help you to make the right decision and set you up for longterm happiness. As difficult as these periods may be, they will not last forever. If you can navigate through them with grace and clarity, you can set yourself up for success in whichever path you choose!
So let’s take a look at whether or not this marriage is worth saving.
Is my marriage worth saving: finding the right answer
I want to start things off by highlighting a very important truth. Saving a marriage and saving any relationship is going to require quite a bit of work. It is not something that happens overnight, there is no magic solution that allows you to make everything right at the flick of a magic wand.
It will require perseverance, time, motivation, and very hard work. I can tell you this right off the bat. When a person asks me, “When is a marriage not worth saving,” my answer is always this: A marriage isn’t worth saving if you’re not willing to make the effort.
If you know in your heart of hearts that you’re not up for it, that you don’t feel like trying anymore, and that you’ve already tried everything you were willing to try, then I think you have your answer.
It’s amazing what we can accomplish when we set our minds to it, but if we just don’t want to try anymore, then nothing will change. So the biggest telltale sign that your marriage is not worth saving is that you simply don’t care enough to try anymore. As I said, it will require a great amount of work and I cannot make the decision for you.
However, if you have analyzed the situation and you truly want to fight for this marriage, then yes, I can help you. I can ask you targeted questions, offer you tailor-made advice, and help you create an action plan that can heal your marriage with the one you love.
You are the one that has to look within yourself and find the answer. Is this the person you truly want to be with? Can you envision a future with him or her? Are you willing to do what it takes to save this marriage?
Is marriage worth saving: YOUR answer
Take the time to really think about this. It is the best way to determine if your marriage is worth saving or not.
Now, when I work with clients in my one on one coaching sessions, they often ask me point blank, “Is my marriage worth saving,” and I give them my answer based on the details of their situation, and my knowledge and expertise in this field.
I tell them their chances of succeeding in repairing the marriage and their chances of actually feeling happy and fulfilled in this marriage. Yes, unfortunately, there are some cases in which trying to save the marriage is not worth it and sadly, there are some signs your marriage can’t be saved.
There are also some signs you CAN save a marriage. These things largely have to do with your willingness to make the effort, but it will also depend on how your partner approaches the situation. Saving a marriage is a two-person job, my friends and it is not your responsibility to carry the weight of it all.
Again, each situation is unique so I cannot give you a one-size-fits-all answer, but I want to give you some food for thought that can help you make your decision.
A common problem we run into here is the issue of fear. So many people remain stuck in a marriage that is making them deeply unhappy because they’re afraid to be alone. I see it happen time and time again. A person knows that their marriage isn’t working for them, but their insecurities and fears keep them from making a decision that would benefit their future.
I have been a love and relationship coach for many years now and I can confidently say, do not be afraid of being single. Don’t be afraid of what life might be like without your partner in it!
I have coached so many incredible people that had so much going for them, that had been beaten down by their unhappy marriage to the point where they felt like they were not worthy of love. Their self-confidence was damaged, they felt like they didn’t have that much to offer another person so they were afraid of having to date again.
They were terrified that if they lost their spouse, that they would never find love again! Perhaps this rings a bell for you, too?
Well, let me assure you, this is not the case. Everyone is worthy of love and if you are being made to feel like you are not special in this marriage, then other options ARE available to you.
Should I save my marriage or move on if it’s for my children’s sake?
This is a big question that I am often asked about. Many people struggle with the concept of leaving an unhappy marriage because they are thinking of their kids.
In my experience with clients, I can tell you that it’s not worth it. If you know that this marriage is not going to work but you stay together for the sake of your kids, your kids are going to pick up on the negative energy and tension, and they will suffer.
I want to reiterate that I am not writing this article to tell you to move on OR to tell you to try to save your marriage. I want to give you an overview of the elements to take into consideration to help you make the choice that is right for you.
Just try to take a step back and start by weighing the pros and cons. If you’re still on the fence and you’re still wondering, “Is marriage worth saving,” I encourage you to take a pen and a paper and actually create two columns. Weigh the pros and cons.
Why would it be worth it to move on, let go, and ultimately find someone else to make you happy? Why would it be worth it to salvage this marriage?
Look at it from YOUR point of view. Not your spouse’s, not your children’s, not your mom’s or your dad’s… It all begins with you, and this is why I stress the importance of not making a decision based on panic or emotions.
Can my marriage be saved: The bottom line
At the end of the day, the answer to this question is going to depend on you. You can reach out to me and tell me the details of your story, and I can help you find clarity and tell you what I would suggest, but you are the only one that can make the right decision.
The right decision can be made when you:
1 Determine whether or not you’re willing to fight to save this marriage
2 Do not let fear guide your decision-making process
3 Analyze the situation from YOUR point of view
If something happened in your relationship like infidelity, I recommend downloading our product or reading this article on how to bounce back after cheating. To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here.
I sincerely wish you all the very best in love and life,
Your coach when you’re wondering “Is marriage worth saving”