The key to success here is to give yourself some time to calm your emotions before you bring it up. If you go into this with guns blazing, you’ll be in attack-mode, which doesn’t help anything. Instead, take some time to gather your thoughts and choose a private and calm place to confront him about it. Remember, the goal of this conversation is to be productive and to figure out solutions.
If possible, try to ensure that you have undeniable proof. As I said above, when you accuse someone of cheating on you, it’s a pretty big deal and if you end up being wrong, it can cause serious cracks in the foundation of trust in your relationship. If you’re operating on intuition and there are many things that are contributing to your sense of unease in the relationship, you can bring this to your partner’s attention. You can open up a conversation about how you’re feeling and what your worries are. If you go into this pointing fingers and stating that your partner is cheating, he will be far less likely to open up and have a productive conversation with you.
When you start talking about the cheating, your focus should be gathering information about why your significant other was unfaithful rather than asking for juicy details about what happened between him and the other person. I know how tempting it can be to want to know everything about that aspect of this, but believe me when I say that that should not be your focus. By focusing more on what caused your relationship to wind up here, you can start to zero on in the appropriate solutions. Don’t rub salt in the wound by asking excessive questions about the other person or what they did or didn’t do together.
If the conversation proves to be difficult because your boyfriend denies the truth or tries to gaslight you, you can bring in a trusted third party, like a family member or a friend. It is also wise to let someone you trust know about the conversation you’re going to have to have with your boyfriend so that he or she can be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on. Being cheated on is incredibly painful and it will take some time to heal from it. The good news, however, is that your relationship CAN survive cheating.
As difficult as it may be to believe when you’re in the thick of it all, it is possible to survive cheating in the relationship. It just all depends on mindset and teamwork. You’ve got to reshape your thinking and let yourself believe that you two can bounce back from this.
Cheating is usually always the symptom of a deeper rooted issue and it can serve as a catalyst for very positive change when you allow it to be a wakeup call. You must also remind yourself that it takes time to heal from cheating and it’s not something that is just going to magically happen overnight. It is very difficult for a person to work through an issue when they are blinded by strong emotions, and painful or difficult emotions get stronger and more intimidating when they are fought or suppressed. This is why I always stress the importance of giving yourself time to organize your thoughts before going into the convention and the healing period that ensues.
When cheating happens in a relationship, it means it’s time to start over. It’s time to lay out a new foundation so that you can rebuild your bond and create an environment where both of your hearts feel safe. The thing is, when a person is cheated on, it can significantly influence their ability to love themselves. It’s often less about how cheating affects a person’s perception of their partner and more about how cheating affects their perception of themselves. If your boyfriend is cheating and you want to stay together, finding the appropriate ways to nourish your self esteem and your confidence will be crucial in this journey back to self acceptance and accepting your boyfriend after this big mistake.
In addition to that, accepting that saving your relationship will not be easy is a way to help you stay motivated even when it seems tough. Good change, like bad change, does not happen overnight, and it’s important that you view this journey as a marathon and not a sprint. Do not lose patience. It will help you see the results.
I highly encourage you to read this in-depth article we’ve created on how to overcome infidelity in a relationship. This article is coming to a close so I won’t have the space to go into all the tips and tools we have available for you but you will find everything you need to know in the article I just mentioned. In addition to that, please know that we are always here to help and all you have to do is click here to work with me or a member of my team. Together, we can analyze your situation and pinpoint the most effective solutions for your relationship.
Recognizing the signs your man is cheating
As this article comes to a close, I want to summarize the signs he’s cheating on you one last time. The better idea you have of what to be on the lookout for, the easier it becomes to get a clear picture of what’s going on.
• He stops confiding in you
• You notice he lies often and about trivial things
• He all of a sudden doesn’t want to have sex / or all of a sudden want a lot of it
• He becomes secretive about his phone / computers and deletes messages, call logs, and emails
• He starts to accuse you of cheating because he is self conscious
• He starts to care more about his look
• You notice a change in his spending habits
• He acts shady about who he’s with and what he’s doing
• He disappears and shuts his phone off for long period of time
• You have the strong suspicion that something is wrong
• His friends or coworkers start acting different around you
• Your intuition tells you he’s not faithful
If you recognize these signs, make sure that you enter into the conversation with all much calm as you can. This will help you to identity what went wrong and what you two are going to do about it. If you end up determining that you will need couples counseling, we are available to you for that, as well.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you are wondering, “Is he cheating on me”,