Now that we’ve gone over the important elements to keep in mind, we can start talking about how to tell if he still loves you. First and foremost, the biggest telltale sign is that he still wants to keep in touch with you. If your ex goes out of his way to still talk to you, still see how you’re doing, still share things with you, send things to you, etc, it means that you’re very much still on his mind and that chances are that he is still in love with you.
Similarly, if you’re doing the same thing and he isn’t pushing you away, it’s a good sign. Maybe you’re trying to be in contact with him pretty much all the time, and he seems to be okay with it. Maybe you’re asking him for help or his advice on things all the time, and he’s always available. Maybe you’re always suggesting hanging out, and he’s into it. If these things are happening, then it is highly likely that your ex is still in love with you. In cases where people just want to stay friends, there is usually a period during which they need to take some distance from one another so that they can recalibrate the dynamic. If romantic feelings are involved, it is much harder to keep space between you.
That said, it’s important to note that there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. A person can be there for you when you need them if they love you, but if they’re always seeking you out because they just want to be in contact with you, it’s a different story.
So what else should we look for when a person is genuinely still in love with you? Well, another one of the biggest signs that we see in our coaching sessions on a daily basis is when an ex reaches out to you for seemingly unimportant reasons. For example, he’ll call you up and say, “Hey I think I left my favorite pair of socks at your place…” Or, “I think I left a CD in your car!” In other words, he’s basically coming up with excuses to be in contact with you. The more excuses a person makes to be in contact with you, the more likely it is that they still have strong feelings for you. If you think about it, if you really didn’t want to see someone, you would just let go of the unimportant things of yours that they still might have. If it is something of sentimental value, that’s a different story, but keep an eye on whether your ex is making up excuses to see you.
How to know if he still loves you: Social media
Social media has become such a huge part of our lives and it becomes so easy for us to stay in touch with people. So if you’re looking for the signs he’s still in love with you, keep an eye on how active he is on YOUR social media. Is he viewing your stories? Is he liking your posts, is he still on your Snapchat? If he’s doing this, he’s clearly curious about what’s going on in your life, what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, where you’re going, and how you’re feeling. This means that he still feels something for you. If he didn’t, he would be busy getting on with his life and forgetting that you were in it.
This is even true if he started dating someone else! There is a common phenomenon that I’ve noticed in my coaching sessions when someone comes to me asking about how to tell if someone is still in love with you. Let’s say that the ex in question has moved on and is either in a brand new relationship or in a rebound relationship, but when he starts seeing that other guys are showing up in his ex’s social media posts, he’ll reach out to her. He starts to seem jealous, even though he’s with someone else! This is a telltale sign that he still loves you.
So if your ex is paying attention to your social media, make sure you give him something worthwhile to see! Don’t just be out having wild parties – show him that you’re working on creating a better life for yourself. Show him that you’re growing. Think about the issues that caused the breakup to happen and think about what changes you can make in your personal life to keep the same types of things from happening again in the future. Social media is the perfect platform to showcase positive change that is going to attract him back into your life. So if he’s in love with you, AND you’re growing, he’s going to be incredibly attracted to you. On the flip side, if he is watching what you’re doing on social media and he sees that you’re not changing, the love he may feel for you will not be enough.
How to know that he still loves me: Keeping in touch with your loved ones
Another sure fire sign that he still loves you is when he makes an effort to keep in touch with your parents, your siblings, or even your friends. This means that he doesn’t want to disconnect from you completely. As you know, when you’re in a relationship with someone, your lives start to become incredibly interconnected. If he truly wanted to move on and remove you from his life, he would also remove the people that are linked to you. If you see that he’s still reaching out to your people to check in and see how they’re doing, it means that in his mind, he’s still connected to parts of your life. Like I said above, if he really wanted to move on, he could easily cut ties with everyone and remove all of you from his life.
It’s also important to note the complexity of emotions. Your ex might be in a period where he’s trying to figure out how he feels about you. Just because a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean that the love you shared just evaporates into thin air. It’s true that a relationship always happens for a reason, so you might be witnessing an ex who is currently conflicted. He might still be 100% in love with you, but doesn’t know how to approach the situation because he feels that a relationship with you isn’t going to work. I want you to know that a relationship can be healed if you apply the right solutions, and if you are seeing that the love is still there, it is an extremely positive thing! We just need to keep in mind that love is not enough. Think of the relationship as a house. It’s not going to be whole without a foundation, without walls, or without a roof. It is a complex structure that needs all parts of it in order to be complete! Love is an essential element of course, but if there are cracks in the foundation, it’s not going to hold together.