What do you do when you feel like you are too busy for a relationship, but you still want to have one? What can you do when your partner is struggling with how much you work? Is there a way to strike a healthy balance that makes both of you happy?
What about when your partner is too busy? What then? These are all valid questions that I receive from people on a regular basis. We live in a time and in a society that requires so much of us, and it can feel very difficult to make time for both our love life and our professional life. There are only so many hours in a day!
That is why I wanted to write this article for you today. It is entirely possible to strike a work life balance. It’s just going to take a bit of effort. Fortunately, you’ve already gone out of your way to seek out this article, and that shows that you’re already being proactive.
I know the task can seem daunting, but in this article, you will find concrete tips and tools in this article that will help you set out on a new path in your relationship that will lead to much more balance, happiness, and fulfillment.
Things can finally change now, and you can set yourself up for longterm success in your relationship. It is our goal to guide you through this process so that you can create a powerful shift! So let’s get started.
We started Happily Committed as a project designed to help people coach them through the toughest relationship-related situations at home. There is one very important point that it is important to understand.
The absolute best way to put a relationship or marriage back together is to ensure that it doesn’t come apart in the first place. In other words, it is much harder to repair a relationship once two people have already separated than if they were still together.
So, chances are that you and your partner are still together at this point, but the lack of a work life balance is causing considerable string on your relationship.
So if you want to learn how to revamp your relationship and make is happier, you have come to the right place. Every single one of us has to deal with the work life balance, and it is so very important to develop proper tools that enable us to do this.
If you are the one working too much, there is an exercise that I would like to share with you. Start by making a detailed list of all of your priorities in order of importance.
It could include your job, your significant other, your family, your children, your pets, your physical health, quality time spent with your close friends, taking care of your garden, a certain hobby, learning something new, etc. Write down all of the things that you prioritize the most.
In doing so, you will identify where work and your love life fall on this list, and whether your job or your partner comes first. Balance is crucial, and you have to give yourself a 360-degree view of the situation. It will allow you to pinpoint what you need to allocate more time to.
After coaching thousands of people in this situation, I have noticed a trend. So many people who come to me to talk about work life balance instinctively say that their significant other comes first on that list and that it would be silly to assume that they would think their job is more important than their relationship. And yet, the way they live their life indicates something else entirely.
A lot of people are career-oriented and put their jobs before their partners. The thing about this is that when this happens, the person who claims that their partner is more important than their work does not approach their relationship accordingly, and they end up letting their partner down. You have to be very honest, wtih yourself about this.
Now, if your partner comes second to your career, it is important for you to be aware of that and then ask yourself if staying in this relationship is the right idea. If your partner wants to be a huge priority in your life but deep down, you know that your job and your dedication to your job will not allow for this to happen, he or she deserves to be kept informed of the situation.
This way, your partner is also given a chance to make the choice that is best for him or for her. I know that this can be a very tough pill to swallow, but the sooner you become aware of reality and allow yourselves to have clarity, the easier it will be to make the right choices that will set you both up for success in happiness in your lives.
So what happens if you did this exercise, and you have come to the realization that your spouse truly does come before your career, and you need to figure out a new balance between work and life? The one thing you need to do at this point is to start setting boundaries with your work.
You will have to stick to those boundaries, because work will never set boundaries on you. Finding a work life balance is so challenging because there is always more work to be done! By setting boundaries, your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife can feel loved and appreciated by you, and your relationship will thrive. Some simple examples of setting boundaries can be deciding to not do any work on Sundays, or even deciding to avoid checking work emails after a certain hour of the day.
When you spend quality time with your partner, it can mean making sure that you’re truly present, and not knocked out from the day. It will require you to plan ahead. If you know that you have a date night planned with your significant other, don’t stay up till 1 am the night before working on one of your projects. You have to be present and share an experience with the person you love. You can’t just be asleep on the couch next to them while they have an experience.
Boundaries are crucial when it comes to creating a good work life balance and it can set you up for longterm success in both your personal life and in your relationship. We really do get overworked so it’s a good idea to keep an eye on it and make sure that you’re taking care of the things that are important to your heart.
Perhaps you have found this article today because you have found yourself in a relationship with a very busy person, and you feel that is has started to undermine the foundation of your relationship, but it has also started to undermine your sense of confidence in the relationship. This is a very common thing, and I want you to know that there are solutions available to you.
So I want to share a tip that will help you handle dating an extremely busy person. The first step, of course, is asking yourself if you are willing to continue to invest in a relationship if the other person is not as available as you would like them to be. This can be an uncomfortable question, but your wellbeing is a top priority. Now, if you’ve fully analyzed the situation, and you had determined that you believe that this relationship is fully worth your time and energy, we need to look at how to approach the situation.
It is perfectly natural to want to build something with your partner and enable this relationship to grow. You want commitment and to be on the same page. That said, in a world with so many commitments and responsibilities, many people prioritize their jobs. They fill their schedules with their jobs, and very often, their relationships take second place. It can also be that your partner is prioritizing their independence and freedom to spend their time doing things that are not related to your relationship, and that can become very bothersome. So, how do you handle this?
The first thing to do when you’re dating someone who is incredibly busy is to get busy as well. I don’t tell you this because it’s a game that you have to play and no, it’s not a manipulation tactic. The thing to keep in mind is that the more time you have, the more time you want to spend with your partner, and the more you miss them and the more available to them you become. The thing is, your partner also needs to feel the desire to prioritize you and spend time with you. If you’re constantly available to them, it becomes dangerously easy for them to take you for granted and not feel the need to change their schedule so that they can invest more time into this relationship.
Make a list of things that will challenge you, make you feel fulfilled, and fill up your time. Confidence comes from accomplishment. The more things you do, the better you feel, and this directly impacts relationships. Set short, medium, and long term goals for yourself that you can commit to. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. You just need to think about new activities that give you a sense of accomplishment. What’s more, this will begin to change the dynamic between you and your partner, because he or she will start to pick up on these changes. It will attract them to you even more. Then, two things happen. First, you’ll be feeling better in your personal life, so your partner’s business won’t feel so oppressive, and second, your partner will start to notice that you’re living a life that he or she would want to be a part of.
I know that this might seem counterintuitive to you, but I can tell you what works and what doesn’t work after working with so many couples. If you’re not convinced, why not try it for 30 days and see what happens. If you feel like you would like one-on-one guidance, I encourage you to reach out to me or a team member for a coaching session. By asking you specific questions, we can analyze your situation and define the best plan of action.
As frustrating and daunting as all of this may seem right now, I want you to know that you can find the right life/job balance. It’s just going to require some introspection, it’s going to require you to ask yourself some important questions to determine how much time you and your partner are willing to invest in this relationship.
If you choose to continue to build this relationship and know that you are a busy person, you will need to set boundaries with work and prioritize your partner more. This is crucial if you want the relationship to thrive. If you’re going to continue to let this relationship grow and your partner is the person who is extremely busy, they will need to set boundaries with work, but you will also need to make sure that your days are filled with people and activities that bring you joy. Now is the time to actively work on making your life feel more fulfilling than ever, because this will benefit both you and the relationship!
We are here to help guide you every step of the way, so please do not hesitate to reach out by clicking here.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love!
Your coach when you want to find a work life balance,
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