We started Happily Committed as a project designed to help people coach them through the toughest relationship-related situations at home. There is one very important point that it is important to understand. The absolute best way to put a relationship or marriage back together is to ensure that it doesn’t come apart in the first place. In other words, it is much harder to repair a relationship once two people have already separated than if they were still together. So, chances are that you and your partner are still together at this point, but the lack of a work life balance is causing considerable string on your relationship.
So if you want to learn how to revamp your relationship and make is happier, you have come to the right place. Every single one of us has to deal with the work life balance, and it is so very important to develop proper tools that enable us to do this. If you are the one working too much, there is an exercise that I would like to share with you. Start by making a detailed list of all of your priorities in order of importance. It could include your job, your significant other, your family, your children, your pets, your physical health, quality time spent with your close friends, taking care of your garden, a certain hobby, learning something new, etc. Write down all of the things that you prioritize the most. In doing so, you will identify where work and your love life fall on this list, and whether your job or your partner comes first. Balance is crucial, and you have to give yourself a 360-degree view of the situation. It will allow you to pinpoint what you need to allocate more time to.
After coaching thousands of people in this situation, I have noticed a trend. So many people who come to me to talk about work life balance instinctively say that their significant other comes first on that list and that it would be silly to assume that they would think their job is more important than their relationship. And yet, the way they live their life indicates something else entirely. A lot of people are career-oriented and put their jobs before their partners. The thing about this is that when this happens, the person who claims that their partner is more important than their work does not approach their relationship accordingly, and they end up letting their partner down. You have to be very honest, wtih yourself about this.
Now, if your partner comes second to your career, it is important for you to be aware of that and then ask yourself if staying in this relationship is the right idea. If your partner wants to be a huge priority in your life but deep down, you know that your job and your dedication to your job will not allow for this to happen, he or she deserves to be kept informed of the situation. This way, your partner is also given a chance to make the choice that is best for him or for her. I know that this can be a very tough pill to swallow, but the sooner you become aware of reality and allow yourselves to have clarity, the easier it will be to make the right choices that will set you both up for success in happiness in your lives.
So what happens if you did this exercise, and you have come to the realization that your spouse truly does come before your career, and you need to figure out a new balance between work and life? The one thing you need to do at this point is to start setting boundaries with your work. You will have to stick to those boundaries, because work will never set boundaries on you. Finding a work life balance is so challenging because there is always more work to be done! By setting boundaries, your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife can feel loved and appreciated by you, and your relationship will thrive. Some simple examples of setting boundaries can be deciding to not do any work on Sundays, or even deciding to avoid checking work emails after a certain hour of the day. When you spend quality time with your partner, it can mean making sure that you’re truly present, and not knocked out from the day. It will require you to plan ahead. If you know that you have a date night planned with your significant other, don’t stay up till 1 am the night before working on one of your projects. You have to be present and share an experience with the person you love. You can’t just be asleep on the couch next to them while they have an experience.
Boundaries are crucial when it comes to creating a good work life balance and it can set you up for longterm success in both your personal life and in your relationship. We really do get overworked so it’s a good idea to keep an eye on it and make sure that you’re taking care of the things that are important to your heart.