Marriage has become such an interesting topic in today’s day and age. I know it comes as no news to you have over 50% of marriages end in divorce. It feels like we hear that all over the place, doesn’t it? So, of course, it would make sense that you would start to wonder if marriage is the right choice for you. I work with so many people who ask me if they should get married, what kinds of things they need to take into consideration, and how to make a marriage strong. I have written so much content on that, but I haven’t written much on the topic of why people want to get married and how to tell if it’s the right time for you and your significant other to tie the knot.
So why do women want marriage? What do you need to think about before making a decision like this? Is there a way to ensure that it withstands the test of time? If you want to know the answers to these questions, you have come to the right place. I will give you the answers and explore the ins and outs of setting yourself up for long term success in your love life. Let’s dive right in, shall we?
Why do women want marriage these days?
With such high rates of divorce, it can be surprising to see how many people still want to get married. I can tell you right off the bat, here at Happily Committed, we are in full support of marriage! As long as it is a healthy relationship in which both people are happy, of course. There are so many tools and techniques available that can help people build long lasting marriages that remain strong and fulfilling for years and years.
The main reason women want to get married is simply because they believe in and support the concept of building a life with the one they love. In some cases, people want to recreate the example they saw in their parents, and in other cases, people saw the mistakes their parents made in their relationships and want to do things differently and create a happy marriage for themselves. Then there are also more practical reasons like tax breaks and buying property together. But at the end of the day, most of it boils down to the desire to make the commitment to one another to build a long and happy relationship together.
Then there are reasons linked to a person’s religion. Many people don’t believe in sex before marriage, and many people don’t believe in having children with a person that is not their spouse. There is also pressure from the family to take into consideration. Oftentimes, a person’s parents will want them to get married so that they can settle down and start a family. A woman’s reasons for wanting marriage are always personal, so if you are reading this because the topic is starting to enter your relationship, you should open conversation about what the reasons for wanting marriage truly are. You have to ensure that you’re on the same page, that you want the same things, and that you’re working towards the same goals.
In some situations, I see that a couple will try to use marriage (or even worse, having a child!) as a bandaid for their relationship problems. They mistakenly assume that if they get married, then all the problems their relationship is experiencing will simply go away and be resolved. Well, this is probably the worst thing you can do. When you try to use marriage as a way to fix a problem, you will only wind up making the problem worse. You put unnecessary pressure on yourselves instead of just focusing on finding long term solutions to the issue at hand. I cannot stress the importance of solving any problems that exist in your relationship before you tie the knot. A new label will not fix the crack in the foundation. So, bearing that in mind, I wanted to go over some of the most important things to take into consideration when you’re thinking about marriage.
If you’re a woman or a man getting married: Have these conversations
If you’re thinking about getting married, or if you’ve come to understand that your girlfriend wants or expects it to happen sometime soon, there are a couple of things you need to think about, questions you need to ask yourselves, and conversations you need to have. It is essential that you two are on the same page!
These elements are designed to help you get a clear picture of what you both truly want, and what you’re getting out of this relationship and future marriage. The more you can analyze and understand a situation, the easier it will be to feel confident in your decisions. It’s very hard to make a choice on how you want to move forward if you haven’t taken the time to ask yourself some serious questions before marriage. Fortunately, you are in the right place!
I know that sometimes people get nervous to talk about these things because they’re worried that their partner might have a different point of view, or that they’ll say something that they didn’t want to hear. I know that it can feel vulnerable, but if this is truly the person you are planning on spending the rest of your life with, then conversations about these topics and making sure that you both have a clear understanding of what you (personally and as a couple) want from this relationship is crucial.
Men are not marrying because sometimes their values are not the same
When you start thinking about getting married, the first thing you need to think about are your values.
Think about how you live your life. Your personal moral code, what is important to you, how you want to interact with the people around you, and what respect and integrity look like to you. Does your significant other adhere to the same kinds of values as you?
Next, think about the values you saw in your household as you were growing up. Think about your parents. What makes them tick, do they express respect in a way that is compatible with your way, what does their moral compass look like, and do all of these things correspond to the way that you live your life? Answering this question before marriage is crucial because values are incredibly important elements in life and relationships, but this is also important because it will serve as a tool that will help you to navigate challenges as a team. All marriages will have ups and downs and you will be faced with challenges, so it’s important to ensure that you’re fully equipped to do so!
I want to get married: Thinking about the future
There is a very simple question that might seem incredibly obvious, but many people neglect it.
“What do we both want for our futures, and do these things align?”
You might be shocked to learn how many people turn a blind eye to this extremely important question because they just want to get married. It is crucial to note that not ensuring that both of you are working towards the same goals can cause serious problems later on in your relationship, and this is one of the main culprits behind the staggering number of divorces that we see in our society. So, make sure you think about where you want to live, whether or not you’ll want children one day, whether or not you’ll both be working…
I want to marry: Analyzing how you feel
If you and the woman you love are thinking about getting married, the next two questions to ask yourself are about the environment within your relationship and how you make each other feel.
First, ask yourself if you are prepared to accept your girlfriend, even on days when she gets on your nerves? This has a lot to do with the complicity and the bond that exists between you and how safe you feel (emotionally speaking) in the relationship. Is the foundation solid enough for you to be able to accept one another, accept all of your flaws, and navigate through tensions or disagreements in a positive and productive manner?
The next question is the following:
“Do I confidently believe that my partner will be mindful of my safety, my feelings, and my experiences?”
If “No” has been your response to these questions, your relationship with this person is going to need more time to develop before you should start thinking about getting married, or you might need to evaluate whether or not you are with the person that will make you happiest.
<h2>Why do women want to get married and is it the right time for you?</h2>
It is a very good thing to explore the ins and outs of marriage before tying the knot. Part of this includes understanding why your future spouse wants to get married, and understanding why you want to get married. If the reasons behind it all boil down to wanting to make a promise to one another to be true to one another and true to your bond, because you’re in love and are ready to take the next step towards building your lives together, and because both of you truly feel ready to become a married couple, then I congratulate you! You have something that so many people wish for!
If, on the other hand, you’re wondering, “Why do I want to get married so badly” and the answer has something to do with the thought that marriage will solve the problems that your relationship is facing, then there is a deeper issue at hand and marriage is not the answer. As I said above, marriage should never be thought of as a bandaid that will patch up a faulty relationship. Marriage isn’t always a walk in the park. It is the commitment to one another to work through the challenges that arise as time goes on. And trust me, they will arise.
Make sure that you both go out of your way to create a space that feels safe for both of you to express your needs, feel heard, and be understood. If you are looking for tools to help you with communication that will bring you closer, I encourage you to read this article.
Relationships take time to develop, and no step should ever be rushed. Especially a huge step like marriage. Besides, if you’re planning on spending the rest of your lives together, why rush? The better foundation you lay out for your relationship, the better it will be. Don’t bite off more than you can chew, and establish a life together that both of you can commit to. Make sure you’re patient, and you’ll see that little by little, your relationship will evolve and your bond will deepen. The right time to get married will naturally present itself.
If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us. We are also here to guide you from A to Z, so join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way so that you both can pave the way to longterm happiness. We can work with you to find solutions to any of the issues that your relationship may be facing, and we can give you all the tools you need to ensure that this relationship reaches its maximum potential. To work with me or a member of my team, just click here.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love!
Your coach for everything you need to know about getting married,