Now let’s say that you’ve got something that you would really like your partner to change. For example, maybe he or she doesn’t dedicate enough time to you in the relationship and you feel like they always have other plans. Instead of going into this conversation in attack mode by saying things like, “You never make time for me,” or “You’re always hanging out with your friends but never with me,” you can adapt your approach and get a much better reaction from your partner. People often use the word “You” as something that feels like an attack without even realizing it.
If you want to get on the same page about something with your partner, I suggest approaching him or her by opening the conversation up with things that you agree on. Start with a question to which you know your partner is going to say yes. For example, “Remember how fun it was when we went to San Diego for the weekend last year?” They’ll remember what a good time that was and it will become easy to bring up the topic you wanted to talk about.
This is when you can continue on to tell them, “I miss spending time with you.”
So you see, instead of making them feel attacked, it actually makes them think about positive things and it makes them feel valued. Another thing to keep in mind is to talk in terms of your partner’s interests. When two people are together for a long time, it’s not uncommon for them to inadvertently take each other for granted and stop actively trying to attract and woo one another. We’ve actually created a brand new program to help you boost the attraction in your relationship again, so if you feel that this is something you could use a hand with, I highly encourage you to click the link!
Show your partner that you’re interested in the things that they care about by asking them questions. The more questions you ask, the more you’ll learn about this person, and the easier it will be to connect. Don’t get caught up in your personal life and accidentally neglect your partner. Remember to check in, because this nurtures the bond between you. Encourage them to talk about themselves and be very careful to never belittle their hobbies, passions, or the things they care about. This is actually something that I see on a regular basis, and people don’t realize how destructive it can be over an extended period of time.
Communicating with your partner can be easy!
I know that communication isn’t always the easiest thing in the world, but with time and practice, you can become very good at it. Trust me! Like anything, it is just something that you have to work on over time. It isn’t something that gets fixed overnight, but you can start making changes today that create positive results.
To summarize what we went over in this article, here is how to improve communication in relationships:
2. Listen to understand, not to reply or to win an argument
3. Practice mirroring aka reflective listening
4. Don’t play the blame game
5. Show respect and appreciation
6. Make the other person feel important
7. Talk in terms of your partner’s interests
As always, we are here to help you so please don’t hesitate to reach out. To work with me or a member of my team for one on one coaching, all you have to do is click here. Communication is extremely important, and hats off to you for going out of your way to learn more about how to communicate effectively with the one you love.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know the best ways to improve communication in relationships