What are the best ways to improve communication in relationships? Communication is the pillar of a healthy relationship, but that comes as no news to you! You have already gone out of your way to find some useful information that will help improve the way that you and the person you love communicate.
A lot of people assume that this is something that should come naturally, but if that were the case, why do so many people struggle with it?
Communication problems in a relationship are one of the biggest things that creates a rift between two partners. As difficult as it is, and as frustrating as it might be when you’re unable to talk to each other without getting into an argument or feeling like your voice remains unheard, I am here to tell you that solutions are available to you.
In today’s article, I want to go over 7 different ways to improve communication in relationships so that you and your partner can be happier than ever before.
Whether your relationship is rocky right now or you want to read up on some tools that will set you up for long-term success with the one you love, you will find some of the most important techniques we go over with our clients, right here!
The importance of improving communication in a relationship
Here at Happily Committed, we have made it our life mission to equip you with all the tools you need to let your relationship reach its full potential. Through the articles on this website, but also through the hundreds of videos we’ve created on our YouTube Channels, the courses we’ve created, and Coaching, our goal is to set you up for success.
As I began saying in the introduction, many people assume that healthy communication should just come naturally to all, but the reality of the situation is that most people aren’t taught proper communication. This isn’t something we learn in school. We don’t have classes designed to teach us how to improve communication in relationships with our romantic partners.
That is where we come in. So before we begin, let’s explore why communication is so profoundly important in a relationship. The thing is, no one can read minds and yet so many people assume that their partners should just “understand” them.
As you can imagine, this leads to a large number of unnecessary fights and it pulls the two people apart. The more fights there are, the more tensions arise! Learning how to build good communication in a relationship is therefore important to be able to understand each other better and foster an environment in which both parties feel heard and understood.
Another reason that healthy communication is so important is that it allows both of you to empty the emotional reservoir. When tensions arise and you just sweep things under the rug, you can breed resentment in the relationship.
As you can imagine, this will undermine the foundation very quickly. This is usually what happens when you see a person exploding over something that seems trivial. There is just an underlying frustration that was not diffused through a productive conversation.
Communication is also important when it comes to resolving small issues quickly. You don’t ever want things to accumulate just because you didn’t feel like addressing them in the moment.
Improving communication in a relationship is also crucial in order to ensure that you and the one you love remain connected and don’t wind up living separate lives under the same roofs. We live in such a busy society, so it’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and our responsibilities and forget to check in with our significant others.
Learning how to communicate effectively (and regularly!) helps you to respond to each other’s needs. It’s also a crucial tool that helps you to plan for the future and build a common life project.
The best ways to improve communication in a relationship
I want to start things off with the most important element: Empathy. It is hard for a lot of us to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes, but this is one of the pillars of communication.
With time and practice, you can train yourself to understand your partner’s point of view so that you can have an easier time discussing what you both want and need. In order for your relationship to be successful, you both need to operate as a team.
To successfully operate as a team, you need to understand one another. A good way to do this is to practice mirroring. Mirroring is a communication technique that consists of active listening. So the next time your significant other is expressing their wants or needs, you can repeat what they said back to them.
“I want to make sure I understand. So you’re saying that when I say things like, X or Y, it makes you feel like Z.”
By showing your partner that you’re listening to understand instead of listening to have something to use to make your own point, you will make your partner feel way more appreciated.
When you can foster this kind of environment, it becomes much easier for the two of you to feel confident that you can communicate with one another in a productive way.
Alternatively, if he or she thinks that you’re just listening to win an argument, they can shut down. Nobody wants to communicate if they feel like their words are just going to be used as ammunition.
In addition to this, make sure you never play the blame game. It’s an easy cop-out, and it’s also very destructive. Learning how to accept the fault for things that may actually be on you can help you to operate as a team to find solutions.
What’s more, letting your partner see that you’re willing to take a 360-degree view of the situation so that you can find solutions will help them to open up to you more easily about what they’re feeling. When I am coaching someone who comes to me asking about how to have communication in a relationship, I always ask them about whether or not their partner feels that they’re receptive to having these conversations.
A lot of us put our walls up at the first sign of a conflict, or at the very least ignore the issue because it feels too uncomfortable to deal with. So the next time tensions arise, challenge yourself to face the problem head on so that you can swiftly diffuse it.
Instead of pointing your fingers at one another, try to think more along the lines of, “What can I change in my own behavior to make this better.”
Ways to improve communication in relationships: Finding ways to connect
Now let’s say that you’ve got something that you would really like your partner to change. For example, maybe he or she doesn’t dedicate enough time to you in the relationship and you feel like they always have other plans. Instead of going into this conversation in attack mode by saying things like, “You never make time for me,” or “You’re always hanging out with your friends but never with me,” you can adapt your approach and get a much better reaction from your partner. People often use the word “You” as something that feels like an attack without even realizing it.
If you want to get on the same page about something with your partner, I suggest approaching him or her by opening the conversation up with things that you agree on. Start with a question to which you know your partner is going to say yes. For example, “Remember how fun it was when we went to San Diego for the weekend last year?” They’ll remember what a good time that was and it will become easy to bring up the topic you wanted to talk about.
This is when you can continue on to tell them, “I miss spending time with you.”
So you see, instead of making them feel attacked, it actually makes them think about positive things and it makes them feel valued. Another thing to keep in mind is to talk in terms of your partner’s interests. When two people are together for a long time, it’s not uncommon for them to inadvertently take each other for granted and stop actively trying to attract and woo one another. We’ve actually created a brand new program to help you boost the attraction in your relationship again, so if you feel that this is something you could use a hand with, I highly encourage you to click the link!
Show your partner that you’re interested in the things that they care about by asking them questions. The more questions you ask, the more you’ll learn about this person, and the easier it will be to connect. Don’t get caught up in your personal life and accidentally neglect your partner. Remember to check in, because this nurtures the bond between you. Encourage them to talk about themselves and be very careful to never belittle their hobbies, passions, or the things they care about. This is actually something that I see on a regular basis, and people don’t realize how destructive it can be over an extended period of time.
Communicating with your partner can be easy!
I know that communication isn’t always the easiest thing in the world, but with time and practice, you can become very good at it. Trust me! Like anything, it is just something that you have to work on over time. It isn’t something that gets fixed overnight, but you can start making changes today that create positive results.
To summarize what we went over in this article, here is how to improve communication in relationships:
2. Listen to understand, not to reply or to win an argument
3. Practice mirroring aka reflective listening
4. Don’t play the blame game
5. Show respect and appreciation
6. Make the other person feel important
7. Talk in terms of your partner’s interests
As always, we are here to help you so please don’t hesitate to reach out. To work with me or a member of my team for one on one coaching, all you have to do is click here. Communication is extremely important, and hats off to you for going out of your way to learn more about how to communicate effectively with the one you love.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know the best ways to improve communication in relationships