In today’s society, our schedules are jam-packed with all kinds of responsibilities ranging from our jobs and our children to our social lives and our passions. Finding the right balance can be very challenging, especially when it seems like the responsibilities just keep on piling up.
I work with a great number of people who come to me for help when their relationship with their significant other begins to suffer as a result of their work schedule. It’s a very common problem, so I wanted to write an article on this topic for you today. Relationships, like anything of importance, require maintenance and will suffer if the right balance is not found.
Fortunately for you, you’ve found this article! The first step towards finding a solution to this problem is making an effort to gather useful information, so you are already on the right path. The fact that you’ve already gone out of your way to do this means that you’ve got the right mindset and are willing to make the necessary effort. So hats off to you, and let’s dive right in!
I was talking to one of my clients, Jonathan, earlier today. He reached out to me because he is a successful CIO of a company that sends out consultants to other businesses to help them become more ecologically friendly. He loves his work, but he often finds that his plate is extremely full. He feels like he should be on call pretty much all the time, and when he’s not in the office, he’s working from home, checking emails, making calls, and overseeing projects.
While he finds his job to be wonderfully fulfilling, there is a problem. Jonathan also has a wife and two little boys. When he first reached out to me, he said, “Adrian, I feel like I never get to see my family because I’m constantly working, and I see what’s happening. My wife is pulling away and I can sense tensions rising between us, I keep having to miss my older son’s soccer games, and he tries to hide his disappointment but I can see it from a mile away, and I’m terrified that my schedule is going to do irreparable damage to my family. The thing is, I can’t just fork over my responsibilities to someone else. How do people find a work life balance and still manage to be successful in their jobs?”
Jonathan, like so many other people, is struggling to find that sweet spot between being successful in their line of work, and having enough time to spend with their loved ones. In addition to this, he had lost track of his hobbies and passions and was starting to feel like all he had time for was work.
Like I said in the introduction to this article, this is such a common issue that people face in today’s day and age, and we actually are starting to see more and more workaholics.
So Jonathan and I have begun working on defining a sustainable work/life balance that will help him to restore the bond he feels like he’s been losing with his wife, and make sure that he has time to be there for his family. Change is difficult, but if you’re willing to do the work, you will see that it is possible to make improvements that will benefit the rest of your life.
It can be challenging to figure out how to achieve a work life balance, but there are some tools available to you that are going to make a sizable difference…
The first thing I want to bring your attention is that fact that you are in control of more than you might realize. If your current situation is damaging your personal life, you have to remember that you are not condemned this for the rest of your life. If you can take a step back, identify where the problem lies and what you’re willing to do about it, you can create a shift very quickly.
But that’s the deciding factor: what you’re willing to do about it.
If your work life is getting in the way of you being able to maintain a relationship, it’s time to list your priorities in order of importance. Being honest with yourself is going to help you to define the right solutions that will benefit everyone involved. I know that this isn’t pleasant to read, but if you make this list and you honestly feel that your career comes before your partner and your partner suffers because of it, then it is in your partner’s best interest that you both find other companions, or in your case, perhaps avoid companionship altogether if you know that you will not have the time to commit.
When people ask me why work life balance is important, I always respond that there needs to be balance between all four of our lives:
• Love life
• Work life
• Personal life
• Social life
If one takes too much precedent over another, things will be unbalanced and you and your loved ones can suffer because of it. This is exactly what we saw with Jonathan’s story. His work life took precedent over all three of his other lives, and his family was falling apart, and his personal sense of well being was greatly suffering as well.
So that said, let’s take a look at some tips and tools to help you strike the right work-life balance that is going to help to transform your relationship and help you to find a powerful sense of well being in your life!
The 7 year itch: What it is & how to protect your relationship from it!
If you’ve made the list that I was talking about above and you’ve come to the realization that your career does not come before your partner and your passions and hobbies, then the solution is going to come in the form of setting boundaries with your work.
This does not mean you have to give up on being successful or dedicating time to a job that brings you joy and a sense of fulfillment, but it will help you to create more balance in your life.
One easy solution that you can begin to implement is not looking at your phone after hours once you’ve come home from work. The moment you take a look or check your email, you’re probably going to be prompted to do something, so you can be strict about not being available when you are no longer at the office. This is for your own wellbeing and for the wellbeing of your family.
Another solution to how to maintain work life balance when you’re in a relationship is to schedule a date night every other week that work cannot interfere with.
One of the main problems that pop up in relationships when there is no work life balance is the development of a feeling of neglect. If you’re constantly at work and never have any time for your significant other, it can be easy for them to feel like they’re not a priority and that you don’t care as much about them as you did before. Again, this is something we saw in Jonathan’s story.
His wife was starting to become distant because she felt like he was not present – both physically and emotionally speaking. So together we’ve been working on finding ways to show her that she is also a priority by genuinely spending time with her. He has started to agree to delegate some of the work that he always kept for himself, and with his new free time, he’s been making an effort to organize dates with her and go out of his way to take her to enjoy a new gallery opening or restaurant on the weekends with the kids.
Spending quality time together is an essential element of a solid relationship, so I’m not just talking about sitting on the couch next to your partner when you get home and passing out right away because you’re so tired from work. You want to share moments and make new memories that can strengthen the bond between you.
Make an effort to go out of your way to do something that shows your partner that you want to spend one on one time with them, and make it a reality.
At the end of the day it all boils down to what your priorities really are. If you want to prioritize your relationship, your family, your hobbies and passions over work, then you can. The key to successfully doing so lies in establishing boundaries. In some situations, this will require a bit of sacrifice in terms of work, but by doing so you can invite a great deal of happiness into your life.
You just need to be very honest with yourself regarding where your priorities really lie. If deep down you know that your career comes first and your loved ones come second, than it is in your partner’s best interest to maybe reconsider whether or not companionship is appropriate at this stage of your life.
On the other hand, if you know that you want to establish a proper work life balance, then I encourage you to start thinking about what you can do to start reorganizing your time, setting boundaries, and making your partner really feel how important he or she is to you. Nothing is impossible in love, you just need to be motivated enough to make changes!
I know it’s a tricky situation, but I also want you to know that we are here to help you every step of the way. If you need help in figuring out how to bring balance into your life and what you can do to improve your sense of well-being, you can reach out to us by clicking here. Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your life and relationship in a dignified and meaningful way.
We also have brand new products designed to help you boost the attraction between you and your partner and overcome any insecurities you might be having. for more information, just click the links! If you have any questions at all, you can also leave them in the comments section below and it would be our pleasure to personally respond to you.
Wishing you all the very best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to improve work life balance,
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