If you’re thinking of proposing soon, you’ve probably seen countless articles with various lists of cute proposal ideas. There are tons of them floating around out there! But, the fact that you’re still looking speaks to a core problem with a lot of these ideas: they simply don’t fit you. There’s a reason for that! As a love and relationship expert, I know very well that every relationship is unique, with its own love story leading up to the moment when you ask the ultimate question. It’s understandable that you’d like to find romantic proposal ideas that really work for your relationship. However, if you really want to nail it, you’d be best off coming up with something totally unique to you and your soon-to-be fiancée! That’s why, for today’s article I want to go over the various elements that go into coming up with creative marriage proposal ideas, instead of simply throwing together a list.
This way, you’ll be in a lot better shape to come up with something on your own that really works for you. After all, what’s going to make this truly special is the thought you’ve put into it. Proposing in a way that fits your relationship, and even more importantly, affirms love for your partner is essential if you want to show that you’re serious about this. So, with that being said, let’s talk about how to come up with the best way to propose.
Proposing is one of the most important decisions you can possibly make in your life. That’s why you owe it to yourself, and more importantly to your fiancée to be, to propose in a way that affirms the weight of that decision! This isn’t to say that your proposal has to be lavish or expensive – that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
The common ingredient to all good proposal ideas is simply knowing how to express your care and respect for your partner. Your proposal can be the most simple moment in the world, it can happen without an expensive ring, and it can take place anywhere. It’s always going to be perfect if you can use the moment to truly communicate why you’d like to spend the rest of your life with this person. The exact circumstances of the proposal should merely support that. So, my first tip: think of the message, not the spectacle.
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For plenty of people, the first thing that comes to mind when they think of how to propose is to do it in a fancy restaurant, over a special meal and an expensive bottle of wine. There’s a reason why this is the go-to: you have a chance to express your feelings over dinner, and the money you’re spending is a sign of the importance of the occasion. While this is certainly a decent option, in my opinion, there are so many other choices that might actually be a much better fit for you!
There’s two main reasons for this: the first is that the fancy restaurant kills the element of surprise, which is a very fun and special element of most marriage proposals! As soon as you walk into a Michelin-star restaurant, your partner is going to know exactly what’s happening. That won’t ruin it, but it does cut down on some of the magic. My recommendation: go to a nice restaurant the night after you propose, and take that opportunity to talk to each other about your hopes and plans for the wedding. You’ll have a lot more fun, and it’ll be just as special.
The second reason I shy away from recommending fancy restaurants as a place to propose is that they can sometimes feel like a fallback plan: a place that you’re going to only because you didn’t put the time into thinking of doing something else. If you two met there, or had your very first date there, then this doesn’t apply simply because there is a special meaning there that you’re celebrating. But if the only thing that makes it special is that it’s fancy and there’s good food, you can do better. Remember, the goal is to really communicate why you love your partner, not just how much you’re willing to spend for them. Let’s take a look at how to think of other places and activities that are even more romantic than proposing in a 5-star restaurant!
There’s a reason that so many people propose on a beach, or at some scenic overlook: it’s a gorgeous backdrop, especially if you’re having someone subtly photograph you as you pop the question. While outdoor proposals are wonderful, if you’re trying to think of where you might want to take your partner, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of options. Do you take a trip somewhere? Do you go for something nearby? What if it’s too hot, or too windy?
Let’s try to reframe the way to think about this to help narrow down which kind of destination might be best for you! I’d recommend trying to prioritize the meaning of the place over the optics of the location. Think through exactly what you want your partner to feel, what you want them to understand, and what it is exactly that you’re asking them: ultimately a marriage proposal is the ultimate affirmation of your love and commitment to this person! So, think about how certain places can support that message and get it across even more clearly. Places that have special meaning for your relationship, for example, are always a great place to start. And the trick is, they don’t have to be beautiful – it’s the proposal itself that’s going to make it beautiful.
These are places connected to your identity, your history, or even to your future: parts of you that your partner has changed forever. Choosing to propose at a place like this helps get that across. For example, I know people who have gone back to find the specific park bench, place at a bar, or even the train seat where they met their partner. Asking at the exact spot you met can be really moving, since it marks the spot that separates your life before meeting this special person and your life after.
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There seems to be some kind of taboo about proposing in your own home, and to be honest with you, I’ve never understood it. Your home is the foundation of your life with your partner, both literally and metaphorically, so there should be nothing stopping you from considering it as a good place to propose! However, the trick is to not do it in a way that feels lazy. Casually handing her a ring while you’re eating chips on the couch is not the best way to go.
Remember what you’re trying to do, and put some effort into doing something that hits all of the right notes! For example, one of my favorite proposal stories is a friend of mine that wanted to highlight his partner’s sense of adventure as the reason he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He made a subtle excuse to get her out of the house, and put together the most elaborate treasure hunt I’ve ever seen. There were clues everywhere, from the attic to the crawl space underneath the house, with one that was literally buried outside. Each step of the process included a little nod to their relationship, the times they’ve spent together, and the things that he loved about her. He knew her well enough to be sure that she would love this, and he was right: they spent a wonderful day working on it together, before finally she found the ring and said yes.
However, there’s one important detail that made his proposal work, and you should keep it in mind too:
Almost everyone loves surprise proposals, but this can be really tricky to achieve when you and your partner have already talked things through and it’s clear that you proposing is just a matter of time! When your partner is ready for it, you’re going to have to take extra steps to achieve the element of surprise. Your best trick is to use “the red herring”.
A red herring is a piece of deliberately misleading information: it’s basically a clue leading in the wrong direction. In my scavenger hunt-making friend’s case, he made sure to talk to his girlfriend a lot about a concert of their favorite band happening on the other side of the country, and how he wished they could fly there. The first several clues even alluded to that concert, and to that band, and they kept her thinking that the “prize” was tickets until she suddenly realized that this scavenger hunt was leading to something much bigger. When you’re planning your surprise, try to think of an excuse for anything unusual you may have to do while you’re getting ready. Lay bread crumbs far in advance, so your partner won’t suspect a thing until you’re ready.
At the end of the day, planning how to propose can be a lot of work! It’s easy to get lost in the details and forget about the larger goals. Just remember what you’re setting out to do: affirming your love and commitment for your partner by asking them to spend the rest of your lives together. Ultimately, this is something that’s meant to make them feel valued, loved, and cherished. Your goal is to communicate your love and respect, and to make sure your fiancée understands why this matters so much to you.
With all that being said, let’s go back over some of my tips towards making your proposal special.
As always, every situation is unique, and as you might hit some mental roadblocks as you try to figure out exactly how you’re going to propose this in a way that fits your relationship. If you’re feeling stuck, you can always reach out to me or any of the other love and relationship experts here at Happily Committed by clicking here. We can help clear your head and point you in the right direction – after all, helping people with big moments like this is what we’ve dedicated our lives to doing. Most importantly, remember to take the pressure off of yourself! This is going to be great.
I wish you the best of luck, and many years of health and happiness with your future spouse.
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