One of my other clients that I recently worked with, Aisling had a story that will help illustrate my point here. She had reached out to me last year in order to help her work on the communication problems she and her boyfriend were experiencing at that time The two of them, Aisling and Jonathan, were having trouble developing proper communication and this kept resulting in fights. In fact, it was creating so much tension in the relationship that she thought that it was about to fall apart forever. This is around the time that she reached out to me.
Together, we focused on establishing proper communication between them and laying out a solid foundation in the relationship. They needed to start speaking the same language (so to speak) so that they could understand each other’s wants and needs.
As the months went on, Aisling was able to notice a positive shift in the dynamic of her relationship with Jonathan. They were able to get back on the same page and feel closer than ever, while still living their independent lives. Then she told me about the moment when she started to sense that he was ready, and this is what I wanted to share with you.
They had gone to a family event when one of Aisling’s favorite aunts came over to talk to her and Jonathan. The conversation veered to how beautiful Aisling’s brother’s wedding in Seattle was the year before. “So,” said Aisling’s aunt, “When are YOU two going to tie the knot?”
Aisling expected Jonathan to laugh nervously and gently switch topics, but he didn’t. Instead he smiled, looked at Aisling, then back at her aunt. “You’ll be the first to know,” he told her.
It was a quick little moment, but Aisling recognized that he wasn’t scoffing at the idea of marrying her. The thought of it did not make him uncomfortable, in fact, it seemed to make him happy. So this brings us to my first sign that he wants to marry you.
When a man wants to marry you, the topic of marriage does not make him squirm. You might notice that he brings it up to you or that he talks about his friends’ marriage in a way that shows you that he admires what they have. Sometimes a person who is not ready for marriage will scoff at other people who have gotten married, so keep an eye on this – especially if he’s scoffing at a married who are perfectly happy together.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend starts to laugh nervously or wastes no time before he tries to find a new topic whenever the word “marriage’ is spoken, chances are that he’s not ready. Now, don’t panic if this is the case. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t want to marry you at all ever! It could very well just be that he’s just not ready to be thinking about making big steps like that quite yet.
Marry me signs: He’s bringing it up
This one is very obvious, but if your boyfriend openly talks to you about marriage, having a family, building a home together and all that, then he obviously is not shying away from the topic. In fact, the more comfortable he is talking to you about his, the more comfortable he is thinking about marriage with you.
A man who is nervous about the concept of marrying you isn’t going to bring it up to you. In fact, it’ll feel more like a touchy subject or like the elephant in the room.
But, on the other hand, if he’s open to the topic and if he starts talking about it with a sense of ease and happiness, things are looking good! If you’re wondering about how soon he will ask you to marry him, the more often he talks about marriage, the better.
Proposal signs: He’s the one bringing it up
Still on the topic of talking about marriage, it goes without saying that if your significant other is the one who is talking to you about getting married, it obviously means he’s thinking about it.
But keep an eye out for more subtle indicators. For example, if you’re watching a movie and there’s a scene with a grandiose wedding with 100 doves being released and he says, “Haha imagine if we did that!” Sure, he’s bringing it up because you’re watching a movie with it in that precise moment, but it means that the idea of having a wedding to you doesn’t seem super foreign to him.
In addition to this, if you notice that he’s been bringing it up in conversation and seems to be feeling out how you feel about it, or if he’s exploring details like what kind of ring or what kind of wedding you’re dreaming of, he is gathering intel!
So pay attention to whether or not he asks you questions about your wedding preferences, whether or not he shies away from the topic or if he’s the one to bring it up. A man who starts talking to you about the topic of marriage and weddings is not one who’s shying away from potentially marrying you.
”Will you marry me” on the horizon
A huge indicator that he’s thinking about marrying you, and he’s thinking about marrying you in the near future, is when he starts asking your friends and family about what kind of ring you would like. It is true that you might not know that this is happening, if but if you happen to find out that he asked your best friend about your engagement ring preferences, it means that he’s already thinking about the proposal itself!
A man will go out of his way to find out what you would want the most when he’s ready to start making concrete moves. So, as much as you can, given the fact that this will probably be hush-hush, pay attention to whether or not he’s asked your closest friends for information, whether he’s asked your parents, your siblings, or anyone that knows you really well.