I know how nerve wracking this whole thing can be. Trust me, I have coached thousands upon thousands of people through this exact situation and I know how much sleep you lose over it, how worried you are about making a choice that you regret, and how painful it all is. That is why I wanted to start things off with a section on how to how if it’s time to end a relationship. The more information you have, the easier it feels to make the right choice. In many cases, people don’t know what choice to make simply because they don’t have enough information. That might be the case for you too, and that could be why you feel stuck. It’s normal to not know which option to choose and to feel paralyzed with anxiety over the task at hand.
Let’s take a moment to talk a bit about what signs you need to keep an eye out for if your relationship truly is over. The first sign we need to look at when you’re thinking “I think I want to end a relationship has to do with respect. Does your partner still respect you? If you see that no matter what you do, what you say, or how hard you’re trying to repair the damage and you feel that your partner has lost all respect for you, it’s a big sign that the relationship has probably run its course. Pay attention to how he or she speaks to you, calls you names, belittles you, and disrespects you. No matter how many times you’ve tried to speak to your significant other about it or how many times you’ve tried to inspire them to change, it doesn’t seem to change anything.
Similarly, if you want to know if it’s time to end a relationship, you also need to think about whether you’ve lost all respect for your spouse. Are you becoming less and less patient with them and do you feel like you have no interest in trying to change to suit their needs? If you think about it, have you stopped respecting his or her choices, opinions and behaviors? As you know, a relationship is a two way road and you are 50% of it so your actions and feelings matter just as much as your partner’s do. So if you’re reading this right now and you know in the pit of your stomach that you’ve lost total respect for your partner, then it’s a big indicator that it might in fact be time to move on.
The next sign we need to factor in is whether you have been catching yourself fantasizing about what life could be like without your partner. You think about your single life all the time, maybe you even present yourself to people as if you were single… maybe you’ve noticed that you’ve started being more flirtatious when you’re out or that you’re interested in attention from other people. If you see that you’re fantasizing more about what life would be like if you were single than how you could fix this relationship and be happy with your boyfriend or girlfriend, then you are right to be thinking about ending the relationship.
The next sign that it’s time to think about how to end it is when one of you is having an affair and refuses to end it. This one, as you can imagine, is huge. If your significant other is having an affair and does not want to stop, then you need to keep your eyes wide open. As I said, you are 50% of this relationship, and if your boyfriend or girlfriend is giving their 50% to someone else, well, you’re looking at a clear sign that this is the end of a relationship.
I always try to remind my clients that you are in control of way more than you might realize, and you can make the decision to move on and choose happiness. By exiting a relationship that is no longer serving you, you are opening the door to getting back in touch with yourself, becoming the new and improved version of You, and if you want, a brand new relationship on a much better foundation. Again, I know how hard it is to be in this position, and I know how difficult it is to be questioning your relationship like this. But if you see most or all of the four signs I just went over, it’s time to talk about how to end a relationship for good.