Ending a relationship is one of the most difficult things a person has to deal with these days. You put so much of your time and energy into nurturing something and yet, you’re starting to realize that it’s not what you want it to be. You’ve tried everything you could to make it work and it still isn’t enough, and now you’re faced with having to end a relationship.
For some of you, both people in the relationship know it’s time to close this chapter and move on, and for others, only one person feels this way.
I wanted to write an article for you today that is designed to help you determine whether or not it’s truly time to end this relationship so that you can have peace of mind in your choice, how to break up with someone that is still in love with you, and how to move on in the healthiest and most productive way.
I know that this is an incredibly challenging situation to be, but we are here to help. Here at Happily Committed, we have made it our mission to provide you with all the tips and tools you need to coach yourself through any and all problems you may face in love.
Through the articles you will find on this page, the videos we have created on our YouTube Channel, our products, and our one on one coaching sessions, you will find everything you need in order to move forward in the best way possible. So, let’s dive right in!
I know how nerve wracking this whole thing can be. Trust me, I have coached thousands upon thousands of people through this exact situation and I know how much sleep you lose over it, how worried you are about making a choice that you regret, and how painful it all is.
That is why I wanted to start things off with a section on how to how if it’s time to end a relationship. The more information you have, the easier it feels to make the right choice. In many cases, people don’t know what choice to make simply because they don’t have enough information.
That might be the case for you too, and that could be why you feel stuck. It’s normal to not know which option to choose and to feel paralyzed with anxiety over the task at hand.
Let’s take a moment to talk a bit about what signs you need to keep an eye out for if your relationship truly is over. The first sign we need to look at when you’re thinking “I think I want to end a relationship has to do with respect.
Does your partner still respect you? If you see that no matter what you do, what you say, or how hard you’re trying to repair the damage and you feel that your partner has lost all respect for you, it’s a big sign that the relationship has probably run its course.
Pay attention to how he or she speaks to you, calls you names, belittles you, and disrespects you. No matter how many times you’ve tried to speak to your significant other about it or how many times you’ve tried to inspire them to change, it doesn’t seem to change anything.
Similarly, if you want to know if it’s time to end a relationship, you also need to think about whether you’ve lost all respect for your spouse.
Are you becoming less and less patient with them and do you feel like you have no interest in trying to change to suit their needs? If you think about it, have you stopped respecting his or her choices, opinions and behaviors? As you know, a relationship is a two way road and you are 50% of it so your actions and feelings matter just as much as your partner’s do.
So if you’re reading this right now and you know in the pit of your stomach that you’ve lost total respect for your partner, then it’s a big indicator that it might in fact be time to move on.
The next sign we need to factor in is whether you have been catching yourself fantasizing about what life could be like without your partner.
You think about your single life all the time, maybe you even present yourself to people as if you were single… maybe you’ve noticed that you’ve started being more flirtatious when you’re out or that you’re interested in attention from other people.
If you see that you’re fantasizing more about what life would be like if you were single than how you could fix this relationship and be happy with your boyfriend or girlfriend, then you are right to be thinking about ending the relationship.
The next sign that it’s time to think about how to end it is when one of you is having an affair and refuses to end it. This one, as you can imagine, is huge. If your significant other is having an affair and does not want to stop, then you need to keep your eyes wide open. As I said, you are 50% of this relationship, and if your boyfriend or girlfriend is giving their 50% to someone else, well, you’re looking at a clear sign that this is the end of a relationship.
I always try to remind my clients that you are in control of way more than you might realize, and you can make the decision to move on and choose happiness. By exiting a relationship that is no longer serving you, you are opening the door to getting back in touch with yourself, becoming the new and improved version of You, and if you want, a brand new relationship on a much better foundation. Again, I know how hard it is to be in this position, and I know how difficult it is to be questioning your relationship like this. But if you see most or all of the four signs I just went over, it’s time to talk about how to end a relationship for good.
If you’re familiar with our philosophy, then you know that we do everything in our power to give you all the information you need to save and preserve relationships, but sometimes the relationships truly do need to end, and we need to ensure that you have useful information on that too! As I mentioned, that is why I am writing this article for you right now.
Empathy is a pillar of healthy relationships both with others and ourselves, and this is something that we need to keep in mind when ending a relationship. It’s so normal to think about how we’re going to feel and what it’s going to be like for us, but we also need to take into consideration the feelings of the other person. If you two have fostered a good relationship that made both of you happy for a long time then chances are that you still care about this person and you don’t want to do anything to hurt them.
In fact, this is one of the biggest reasons I’ve seen for people staying in a relationship that no longer made them happy. They couldn’t bear to hurt their partner, even though they didn’t want to be with them. But I am here to tell you that there is a way to do this in a way that minimizes the pain that both of you will feel. I have to be honest with you, it IS going to hurt. We are dealing with powerful emotions and it wouldn’t be realistic for me to tell you that a breakup doesn’t hurt.
So the first thing I want to bring to your attention is the importance of doing this in person. You’d be surprised at the amount of people that do this via text or even phonecalls, and an impersonal approach like this can leave a lasting mark on your partner that hurts way more than it needs to. In addition to this, make sure that you are able to provide clear and concise reasons as to why you are ending the relationship. The day that you choose to do it is not the day that you started to want to do it. You have to take the time to really think about it if you’re truly ready to end a relationship – especially if it’s with someone you truly care about. So when you’re doing it, make sure that you can clearly explain why you feel this needs to happen.
If you leave the other person without any answers to their questions, again, this causes them way more suffering than what is necessary. I know that if you want to end a relationship, it’s possible that you just can’t take it anymore and you truly want out. But by giving your significant other reasons for your decision, it will help them to gain closure and be able to move on, too. In addition to that, when you’re thinking about how to end a relationship, make sure you do it a way that you do not end up regretting. When you look back on this, you’d want to have a clear conscience, right?
After you’ve ended the relationship, I suggest going into no contact. It’s important to give your significant other the chance to heal. If you go back and forth with your decision, or if you break up with them only so that they’ll chase you, it’s not fair to them. And then if they honor the breakup and you try to reel them back in, things can become toxic very fast. Again, that is why I always stress the importance of taking your time with your decision and providing him or her with concrete reasons.
By taking your time and really thinking about it, you will help yourself to be sure that you want to do this. If you aren’t even sure about it yourself, it’s going to be so difficult to make a decision that you’re comfortable with, and it’s going to be so difficult to stick to your decision. If you don’t know what to do, then wait. Give yourself this time to come to a decision that you feel sure about, and as always, we are here to help you if you need us. We help a lot of our clients mentally prepare for a breakup so that they can approach the situation in the most productive way possible and make sure that they handle it in a way that feels right.
A lot of people make a decision that they wind up regretting because they did it on a whim or in the heat of a moment. Then there is often a pattern of either experiencing serious regret, or getting back together immediately after, and then the concept of the breakup loses its weight… This is another thing that can lead to a toxic environment so I encourage you to be very careful. You don’t want to wind up in a situation where you break up, get back together, break up, get back together! There are probably people in your life that have this type of relationship and you can see how exhausting it is.
So, if you were wondering, “What is the best way to end a relationship,” the answer is simple. You need to take your time to be certain and then you need to stand by your choice and give your partner the space he or she needs to heal. Similarly, YOU will need space to heal. There is no sense in beating around the bush here. You can only be hurt by what you did not predict, so it’s important to remember that this is going to hurt for a while. You are not going to feel great after you break up with someone, even if you’ve been yearning to be alone. There will be a period of healing that you will need as well, and I wanted to dedicate a portion of this article to that, as well.
After a relationship ends, there will be a period of sadness and heaviness, there is no doubt about it. As I just said, the more you anticipate this happening, the less of a blow it will be. It will also help you to shorten this period because you’ll be able to give yourself an action planned that is designed to make this easier.
A breakup is something that can bring about an identity crisis because your whole world changes. Yes, this can be a very positive thing if you feel that you truly needed this breakup, but I want to warn you against the false belief that breakups don’t hurt the people that make the decision to end a relationship. Many people don’t know how to handle the aftermath, but I am so happy that you’re reading this article right now.
So, the first thing to keep in mind is that once the breakup happens, you will have already gone through the worst part. The period that follows a breakup is the path to a new, happier future. So once you get to this point, the only way is up! Being able to accept what life throws at you is the easiest way to make everything feel significantly lighter. This is a huge opportunity for you. It’s the beginning of a new chapter for you, and though it may feel like it’s going to take ages for the pain of this breakup to fade away, I want you to know that the negative feelings you experience after a breakup are temporary. Once you work through them, you can open the door for yourself and become happier than ever before.
Whenever it starts to feel particularly heavy, I want you to remind yourself that you now have the golden opportunity to create the life that you’ve always wanted for yourself. You have a clean slate now, and this can be a very positive experience if you approach it with the right mindset. So let’s break that down.
This is arguably the best thing you can do for yourself after ending a relationship. I highly encourage you to fill up your schedule with activities and people that bring you joy and spend as much time as you possibly time with them. If you aren’t excited about anything, you’re going to keep returning to your past. You’ll keep fixating on your relationship and on the breakup, and when you’re feeling low, you’ll reminisce on the good times. As you can imagine, this isn’t going to help you move on in any way.
So, use this time to surround yourself with people that make you smile, and step outside of your comfort zone! Do things that you’ve always wanted to try, give yourself new hobbies, new goals, and new projects, both personal and professional. One thing you can do today is to reorganize your space. Our memories are attached to the things we see, so chances are that there are plenty of things that remind you of your ex in your home. So why not take some time today to reorganize the placement of your furniture? You could even order some new sheets to change the aesthetic a bit. We are visual creatures, so don’t underestimate the power of your surroundings!
Another thing that would make this period significantly easier, more positive, and more productive is if you can step outside of your comfort zone and try new things. Think of activities that you’ve always wanted to try, but never have. Think about trips you’d like to go on, but never have! Think about things you’ve always wanted to learn and sign up for a class – even if it’s online. The busier you are, the better. Focus on things that move you, things that you want to achieve, things that are meaningful to you. It’s 100% about you, now. Reconnect with yourself during this time and think about what aspects of your life you lost track of while you were in the relationship. It’s very common to lose sight of passions, hobbies, and even friends and family when you become fully invested in a relationship. So use this time to reconnect with yourself and set out on a new path that is incredibly gratifying. This is entirely in your power!
I hope that this article has given you some clarity that will help guide you through this challenging period. If you would like more one on one guidance, all you have to do is click here to work with me or a member of my team. I also want you to know that we have created a special program designed specifically to help you move on after a breakup with grace and peace of mind. To access it, just click the link.
To quickly summarize what we went over in today’s article, here are the signs it’s time to end a relationship that we need to keep in mind:
⁃ Lack of respect for one another
⁃ Fantasizing about the single life
⁃ One of you is having an affair that you refuse to leave
Next, when it comes to ending a relationship with a person you love, you must remember to take your time to be 100% sure of your decision, provide your significant other with concrete reasons as to why you are leaving, and set yourself up for a productive healing period. This entails putting space between the two of you…
The end of a relationship signifies an opportunity to set out on a new path that makes you much happier than ever before. I wish you all the best in this new chapter!
Sincerely,
Your coach when you’re thinking about ending a relationship
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