When it comes to building a relationship, there are some important facts about attraction that everyone needs to know. The more you understand about how the human mind works, the easier it will be to lay out the foundation for a meaningful relationship that gives you longterm happiness.
When you start developing feelings for someone and you start to feel your attraction to them take over, it becomes dangerously easy to jump the gun and handle the situation in a way that ends up damaging the attraction they have for you.
I know that this can be extremely frustrating, especially if you’ve noticed a pattern of relationships that seem like they have wonderful potential falling apart each time…
That is why I wanted to compile some of the biggest facts about attraction for you in one place. Keeping these pointers in mind will help you as you’re entering the attraction process with someone that has caught your eye, but they will also help you throughout your entire journey as a couple.
So many people have a great understanding of attraction and how to start things off right, but then once they get comfortable in the relationship, they lose track of it. It is so important to remember that attraction should not be neglected once you’ve established your relationship.
Love and relationships require time, energy and maintenance, like all things of value. Fortunately, you have come to the right place if you want to learn the most powerful tips and techniques, so let’s dive right in!
Lessons and facts about attraction
You know, we live in a society where Hollywood and Disney movies teach us that two people magically just fall in love and then it’s all just sunshine and rainbows for the rest of their lives. There are now ups and downs, there are no challenges, and the spark between them never dies out. In reality, however, that’s not quite as it works.
Yes, there is most certainly a honeymoon period where everything tastes sweeter, but as time goes on, it is very natural for things to start to feel more monotonous, lackluster, and predictable.
Sadly, this is often what leads to two people drifting apart. People need to feel special and valued by their partners, and I often see that people begin to inadvertently neglect their partners.
They don’t realize they’re doing it, but they neglect the romance, they neglect going out of their way to communicate their feelings to their partner, and they wind up assuming that the attraction phase is finished. They think that their work is finished because they’re in an established relationship…
As time goes on, that connection between the two partners begins to diminish, and in many cases, they wind up realizing that they barely know each other anymore. So my point is this. Attraction is one of the glues that keeps a relationship together, and without it, the foundation of the relationship will begin to crumble.
Either you could end up like two roommates, or you could wind up growing to resent each other because you feel undervalued or neglected. I am not telling you these things to scare you, but I want you to have a broad idea of why attraction is so important in a relationship.
To start things off, we take to take a look at the basic facts about attraction. First things first, you can only be as happy in a relationship as you are as an individual. This concept can also be applied to attraction.
The more attracted to who you are as a person, the more your partner will be attracted to who you are as a person! In other words, if you can cultivate a sense of wellbeing and confidence in yourself, your partner will be able to pick up on this and gravitate towards you in a new way.
Take my client Irene, for example. She called me asking how to be happy in her relationship and bring the attraction back between here and her long-term boyfriend. She told me that she was investing everything she had into her relationship, even time she didn’t have to spend, and wondered why it wasn’t yielding the results she was looking for.
She said it felt like he saw right through her and she didn’t sense any of the attraction that used to be so strong between them. We realized, though, that she was so busy focusing on her relationship that she was completely neglecting herself.
This is such a common phenomenon. I know that it’s easy to focus on your relationship with the one you love, but if you lose sight of your personal life and who you are, your partner will also lose sight of the person they fell in love with.
Irene dedicated no time to self-care, exercise, her professional goals. spending time with her friends… So, I gave her a plan of action that she thought was super counterintuitive at the time. I told her to back off of her relationship a bit, and instead, to spend time reconnecting with herself. Then, I told her to ask herself if she felt happier in her relationship after one month.
The month comes and goes, and she sends me an email, thanking me for encouraging her to make the counterintuitive decision of focusing on herself, because she’s never been happier in her relationship and now, she’s showing her boyfriend all the new things she’s been doing, and he says he’s never been more attracted to her.
The moral of this particular success story is that, as I said, one of the most important facts about attractiveness is that you can only be as happy in a relationship as you are as an individual. Embrace this process and you can see the same results! It is the key to success when you want to bring the attraction back into your relationship or marriage.
Psychological facts about attractiveness: The way the mind works
When a person comes to me for help with how to boost the attraction in their relationship with their significant other, I always bring their attention to one of the most important details about the human mind. Both men and women are attracted to what they do not possess. This is true when it comes to work, when it comes to material possessions, and it is also true when it comes to romantic relationships.
When two people have been together for a long time, it becomes dangerously easy to take each other for granted because they assume that they don’t have to keep wooing their significant other. We are wired to desire more than what we have, and when we feel that something belongs to us, or is readily available to us without us having to do anything to hold on to it, we stop valuing it as much.
An easy way to think about this is to think about what it’s like when you’re famished. Let’s say it’s dinner time and you skipped lunch, maybe even breakfast, perhaps because you were too busy with work and just didn’t get around to it. So now you’re starving and all you want is a delicious pizza with all of your favorite toppings on it. You want it so bad that you’re salivating just thinking about it.
Now, let’s say that you had an endless amount of that pizza readily available to you at all times, so you would literally never be hungry. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel so enticing anymore, right? Sure, you can appreciate it, but you’re not pining for it anymore. It becomes so very easy to take it for granted. You might even get sick of it… So let’s apply this concept to attraction. When something is always the same, and it is always available to you, human nature dictates that it will begin to lose its allure.
When it comes to attraction facts, we need to bring a sense of excitement and freshness back into the mix. So many people think that once they get to know each other, there’s no way that they’ll be able to make things feel new and exciting, but that is false. It just takes a little thinking outside of the box…
Facts about attraction: Keeping things feeling fresh
As you’ve come to understand, we need to fight the monotony. This is true whether you’ve been dating for two months or twenty-five years. In order for a relationship to become established and continue to develop, you and the person you love need to be making memories together. You have to share special moments that serve as anchors in the relationship. If you’re constantly doing the same thing over and over again, it becomes harder to make it feel like your relationship is growing, and it is the sense of stagnation that so many couples struggle with. It is often what pushes two people apart.
So as you’re working on maintaining and/or reviving attraction in your relationship, I encourage you to think about what kind of new things you can share with this person. What are activities that you have never done before? What are places you’ve never been before? What are foods you’ve never tried before? The more new activities you can experience together, the better. This starts to recreate the bond between you because you will begin to associate one another with positive emotions that you want more of.
There are so many tips and tools available to you, and I can’t go over all of them in such a short article, but we have created a special program on mastering the art of attraction and keeping it alive in all phases of your relationship. To access it, all you have to do is click here and you can grant yourself access to all the tips and tools that have been compiled as a result of over twenty years worth of combined expertise.
And now, getting back to what I was saying, you have to train yourself to think outside the box. Plan date night at least twice a month, but don’t go and do the usual “dinner and a movie.” Come up with ideas that show your significant other that you’ve put some thought into this. How about setting up a picnic on the roof or in the backyard? How about bumper cars? How about seeing a production at a theatre in your city? Renting an airbnb for a night? Challenge yourself to think “in with the new, out with the old,” and you will see a powerful shift in the attraction between you and the one you love.
Attraction: You CAN master it!
As this article on facts about attraction comes to a close, I want to briefly summarize the basic points for you. When it comes to attraction and how to keep it alive, it all begins with you. Remember the better you feel about yourself, the better your partner will feel about you, too. Don’t forget to take care of yourself physically and mentally so that you can always put your best foot forward in this relationship! Encourage your partner to do the same by giving him or her the time and space to dedicate to the activities, projects, and hobbies that bring them joy.
Next up, make sure you actively work on sharing new experiences together. It doesn’t have to be anything wild and over the top like parachuting. Just think of little things that break the monotony of the day to day. Think about his or her love language is, and learn to speak in it. Think about doing sweet little things for your partner, like leaving a love note in the pot of coffee grinds for them to find tomorrow morning. It’s the little things that count because they make daily life feel special.
As always, we are here to help so please don’t hesitate to reach out. Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way. To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here.
I sincerely wish you all the very best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know the facts about attraction