Here at Happily Committed, we have dedicated our lives to helping people find true happiness in love so that their relationships can flourish. We want to give you the tips and tools you need to transform a challenging situation into something that is deeply fulfilling and long-lasting.
So, when a person comes to me asking how to avoid divorce, there are a few very important elements that I go over with them. Because this is such a common topic, I wanted to write today’s’ article on it for you!
I am going to explain why the prospect of marriage can actually be a huge blessing in disguise that can benefit your marriage in the long-run, and what you can do to transform your marriage into something that makes both of you happy. Even if your partner has already asked you for a divorce, there are things that you can start doing that will turn things around.
So many times we inadvertently allow ourselves to go on autopilot in a relationship, and all of our attention goes to external factors like our jobs, our kids, our other responsibilities… Over time, we disconnect from our partners and from our marriages, and this is when problems arise.
We take each other for granted because we think that’s all locked in and set in stone, only to find that the foundation of the marriage has crumbled. By the time you reach the end of this article, you will know what to do to avoid divorce and save your marriage, so let’s get started!
I want to start things off by telling you that the prospect of divorce can truly be one of the biggest blessings in disguise. It is something that forces you to unveil the fact that you may have been in denial about the state of things in your marriage, thinking that nothing needed to change and that everything was fine.
It forces you to address the issues that have not been solved, and it forces you to open your eyes to what’s really going on here. Human beings have a funny way of getting comfortable and turning a blind eye to problems until they have no choice but to face them.
The prospect of divorce is something that can make you pay attention to the lack of affection, taking each other for granted, not doing anything special for each other… The thing is, when two people have been together for a long time, they actually treat their colleagues, friends, and acquaintances better than they do their spouses.
They subconsciously think, “Well, we’re married so I’ve already shown my partner that I care. I’ve already demonstrated my commitment, so why would I need to keep trying?”
Unfortunately, this kind of thought process can be very damaging to a relationship. Commitment is something that needs to be continually maintained. Every person changes and evolves over time, and has different needs, and a relationship very much operates in the same way.
We need to be able to evolve on an emotional level as our relationship with our spouse continues to evolve. When we lose sight of that, it becomes very hard to remain in synch. That is why sometimes the shock of a looming divorce is exactly what we need. In the majority of cases, it is very possible to make your partner change their mind about wanting a divorce!
As we begin, I want to go over some of the basics. First and foremost, if you want to know how to avoid divorce, make sure that you are not trying to manipulate the issue. Don’t try to exercise control over custody as leverage, don’t try to create financial burdens in order to keep your spouse connected to you…
Instead, focus on your part in what went wrong. Again, a marriage is a two-way road and both people involved have played a role in the current state of things. It’s difficult, but accountability and communication are the biggest tools that will help you transform this situation right now.
If you can remove the victim mentality, you can show your husband or wife that you take responsibility for your part, you see what happened, you see that changes need to be made, and you are willing to put in the effort. Change is hard but it is a decision.
So, the very first step is to take the veil off of your eyes so that you can take action. You’ve already gone out of your way to find this article, so you’re on the right track! This shows that you’re actively looking for solutions and you’re willing to put in the work. So, hats off to you!
I know that life is so incredibly busy for all of us, but we need to remember that at the beginning of the relationship, you didn’t neglect each other. Life is different now and your schedule is very different, but you can still make time for romance and maintaining the bond between you.
One of the best ways to prevent a divorce is to carve out quality time that you can spend alone together. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate date night – it can just be dinner that you cook together. You just need to give yourselves the opportunity to reconnect. For more ideas on romantic things to do, I encourage you to read this article.
This will make communication easier, which is the next point that I will be going over in this article. Before I do that, however, I want to reiterate the importance of making a choice. Saving a marriage and avoiding divorce is a choice you have to make and honor every single day.
It’s not going to be a walk in the park, and it is not something that will happen from one day to the next! To prevent divorce, you have to accept saying goodbye to the relationship that you’ve been having because it has brought you to this point.
Divorce is staring you in the face so it has not been working. But don’t panic – that just means that it’s time to create a new relationship with your spouse.
Now you have to focus on the two actors in this relationship, you and your husband or wife, and build a new foundation for a new marriage. The situation that has been camouflaged up until now can be changed and you can create happiness. It’s not about love because love is not enough!
So many people make the mistake of thinking, “But we love each other so it will just work itself out!” The real thread that keeps a marriage held together is happiness. It’s all about being able to make each other happy. I should mention that many of our clients reach out to us later on down the line to let us know that the prospect of divorce was actually the best thing that could have happened to them.
It allowed them to transform their relationship and set it out on a new path.
So now, let’s take a look at mastering the art of communication so that you can zero in on what your marriage needs in order to thrive and avoid divorce once and for all!
Communication is extremely important when it comes to preventing divorce and saving a relationship. When there is an issue with communication in a relationship, the relationship is at risk. Knowing how to communicate properly is synonymous with knowing how to keep a relationship alive. It is crucial to know how to express yourself and allow your partner to express themselves. Without this, you’ll drive each other away without realizing it.
Firstly, do not text message important things with your partner. The way a person reads a text message is entirely determined by their own experiences, their own situation, where they are, what kind of mood they’re in, etc. It’s going to directly impact how they interpret your message. But, they hear you say the words over the phone they can pick up on the way in which you intend to send it. They can hear what you intend to say in the way that you mean to say it. It’s so much easier to write things out via text because it feels like it’s easier for you to collect, organize, and present your thoughts, but it can often backfire.
Communication is everything. So if your communication improves, then your relationship will improve. If your communication crumbles, then your relationship will crumble. I cannot stress the importance of this enough. Be communicative with your partner and give them the opportunity to be communicative with you. This is one of the most powerful ways to prevent divorce from happening. The amount of people that inadvertently assume that their partner can (or should) read minds is exponential. And yet, it doesn’t work like that.
Another tip is integrity. If you say you’re going to do something, do it! The moment you stop following through, your partner is going to stop trusting you and as you know, trust is another pillar of a happy relationship. In addition to this, you have to let your partner express themselves. Sometimes there are things that we don’t want to hear, but that is your commitment to this marriage. You have to be open to hearing them out, and they need to do the same for you.
If your partner feels that they can’t communicate to you, then they won’t want you to communicate to them, and the more this happens, the more you drift apart. Make the time to have these conversations, show them that you value them by listening to them when they have something they want to share with you. Always remember, you can’t fix something if you don’t know it’s happening. so when your partner is sharing something with you that you don’t want to hear, maybe it’s because it’s something that you need to hear. By having open communication with each other, you can make sure that you’re on the same page and that you’re working towards the same goals together.
If you take the time to improve the overall communication of your relationship, you will improve your relationship overall. Communication is a non-negotiable when it comes to saving a marriage from divorce.
In today’s article, I’ve gone over the basics of how to avoid divorce. Remember, it’s about bringing your commitment you made to each other back to the foreground, it’s about taking accountability for your role in the current state of things (and your partner must do the same), it’s about making changes, and it’s about communication. We have created a special product on building attraction in your relationship, and I encourage you to check it out here. The chemistry between you is also an important element to take into consideration.
It’s a complex process that requires time and energy, but it is in no way, shape, or form impossible to steer clear of divorce. We are here to help you every step of the way so please don’t hesitate to reach out. By asking you targeted questions, we can analyze your marriage and give you a customized action plan that will get you the results you want. To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here. Join Happily Committed and learn how to transform your marriage in a meaningful and dignified way.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to avoid divorce
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