In today’s article, I wanted to go over a very important topic with you that people don’t address very often. When it comes to insecurity in relationships, we tend to think of women as being the insecure ones. The truth, of course, is that men can also be insecure in relationships and it can give rise to frustrations and tensions.
In today’s article, I want to share the biggest signs of an insecure boyfriend with you but most importantly, I want to give you some tips and tools for handling the situation in the best way possible.
Insecurity is something that so many people struggle with, but the good news is that because this is such a common problem, there are so many solutions available to you. And once you tackle the problem, you open the door to a happier and more fulfilling relationship.
Relationships aren’t always all sunshine and rainbows. Two people need to learn how to operate in sync, and there is usually a period of adjustment. When these issues come to life, you are being given the opportunity to sculpt this relationship into what both of you have always wanted.
So, if you’re wondering how to deal with an insecure boyfriend, you have come to the right place!
If you are familiar with our philosophy, then you know that we talk about confidence in relationships quite a bit. Confidence is the key to attraction, and confidence is the key to a happy and healthy relationship. So of course, when you feel like your significant other is lacking the confidence needed to make this possible, it can feel like you’re facing a huge roadblock.
In some cases, it feels like a minor nuisance, and in other cases, it is the root of some of the biggest problems a couple is facing in their relationship.
Whatever the case may be for you, I want to give you some helpful insight. First and foremost, let’s take a look at the signs of an insecure boyfriend.
The biggest indicator is when a person has a very negative self image. Does your boyfriend compare himself to other people all the time? Does he point out things about himself that he feels are not good enough? Does he point out attributes in other people that he wishes he had? Does he put himself down and use negative self-talk?
If you are seeing these signs then yes, he is struggling with insecurity. People who are confident don’t usually compare themselves to other people or constantly talk about the things they really dislike about themselves.
It’s not that they don’t have things that they would like to change about themselves, but they don’t fixate on these things in a way that undermines their happiness and sense of wellbeing.
Another thing to keep an eye on when it comes to insecure men in relationships is controlling behavior. This is something that a lot of people don’t realize, but when a man is controlling, wants to know what you’re doing and who you’re with, and doesn’t seem to trust you, it’s often because he is insecure within himself.
On a subconscious level, a person who is very insecure in a relationship feels that their partner can find someone better, and this manifests in controlling or jealous behavior. They don’t want to give their partner the opportunity to meet someone else and potentially leave the relationship.
Insecurity can also stem from past experiences that a person has had. If your boyfriend was perhaps cheated on or disappointed in a significant way in a past relationship, he might act in an insecure way towards you. When this happens, he is simply associating you with past trauma and it is damaging your relationship.
So how can you help him through this?
In the majority of cases that I have seen, people are at least somewhat conscious of the insecurities they have. They know what kind of trigger points they have, and they experience these things on a daily basis. When they’re in a relationship, these insecurities are often heightened and more visible, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t anything you can do about it!
The key now is to help him to feel more confident, which in turn is going to create more of a bond between you. The best way to do this is communication.
Communicating with your partner about all the things you love and appreciate about him will help him to recognize that you chose to be with him for a reason. Positive reinforcement is a valuable tool in these types of situations. You want to let him know that you are committed to the relationship, and you are committed to him.
I am sure you have already told him time and time again, but the more he hears it, the more it’s going to start feeling like his reality. The more he learns to trust you and believe that you are not going anywhere, the easier it will be for him to overcome his insecurity.
Similarly, it is also the time to start working on productive communication skills so that you can express to your partner that some of his behaviors are having a negative effect on you and on the relationship. If communication has been challenging for you in this relationship, I encourage you to download this brand new program that we have created to help teach you the most effective communication tips and tools. To access it, all you have to do is click the link.
The second tip I have for you in terms of how to help insecure men is about support. One of the absolute best things you can do in this situation is to help your boyfriend to develop new habits and prioritize activities that help him to build confidence and wellbeing. In today’s day and age, we have so many responsibilities and our schedules are so full that it becomes dangerously easy to neglect ourselves. As I said above, confidence comes from a sense of accomplishment, and if your boyfriend doesn’t feel like he has been accomplishing anything that he can be proud of, his insecurities are going to surge up.
Encourage him to exercise and spend more time being physically active. Encourage him to step out of his comfort zone and try things that he’s never done before. Encourage him to put himself in situations where you know he will thrive. For example, if you know that he happens to be a good artist, why not plan a wine and paint night? Sometimes a person who is feeling insecure just needs to rediscover the parts of themselves that they used to be proud of but have lost track of.
You can also encourage him to hang out with friends and create a support system outside of the relationship. It’s important to cultivate balance in a person’s life and for him to be able to find positivity, happiness, and a sense of purpose independently of the relationship. This will help him to feel more confident and it will take a lot of the pressure he’s been putting on you and the relationship away. The goal is the help him to develop a sense of individual confidence, so it’s not that you shouldn’t be doing any of these things with your partner, but you should definitely encourage him to do this stuff on his own, with his friends, or with his family. This is where communication comes into play again. This is when you can tell him that you can’t wait to hear about how fun his experience was, and you can show him that you fully support him. You’re not trying to get rid of him; you’re trying to encourage him to do things that will make him happy. If, on the other hand, you do all of these new things with him, you’ll only be nurturing his desire to always be with you, always know what you’re up to, etc.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to communication and supporting him in cultivating more independence. I know it’s all too easy to get frustrated with someone who needs constant reassurance because it can begin to feel incredibly suffocating, but there are ways to help your significant other to overcome his insecurities.
It is not your responsibility to heal him, but you can offer the support he needs, and you can encourage him to do things will have a positive effect on his life and on your relationship. As always, we are here to help you every step of the way, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or a member of my team. We do offer couples coaching, and by asking you targeted questions about your specific situation, we can define a tailor-made action plan.
To work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here.
As this article comes to an end, I want you to know that this is something that many people deal with and many people overcome. It can be a thing of the past, and the fact that you have already gone out of your way to look up solutions means that you are proactive. This is the key to success.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love.
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