If you are familiar with our philosophy, then you know that we talk about confidence in relationships quite a bit. Confidence is the key to attraction, and confidence is the key to a happy and healthy relationship. So of course, when you feel like your significant other is lacking the confidence needed to make this possible, it can feel like you’re facing a huge roadblock. In some cases, it feels like a minor nuisance, and in other cases, it is the root of some of the biggest problems a couple is facing in their relationship.
Whatever the case may be for you, I want to give you some helpful insight. First and foremost, let’s take a look at the signs of an insecure boyfriend. The biggest indicator is when a person has a very negative self image. Does your boyfriend compare himself to other people all the time? Does he point out things about himself that he feels are not good enough? Does he point out attributes in other people that he wishes he had? Does he put himself down and use negative self-talk?
If you are seeing these signs then yes, he is struggling with insecurity. People who are confident don’t usually compare themselves to other people or constantly talk about the things they really dislike about themselves. It’s not that they don’t have things that they would like to change about themselves, but they don’t fixate on these things in a way that undermines their happiness and sense of wellbeing.
Another thing to keep an eye on when it comes to insecure men in relationships is controlling behavior. This is something that a lot of people don’t realize, but when a man is controlling, wants to know what you’re doing and who you’re with, and doesn’t seem to trust you, it’s often because he is insecure within himself. On a subconscious level, a person who is very insecure in a relationship feels that their partner can find someone better, and this manifests in controlling or jealous behavior. They don’t want to give their partner the opportunity to meet someone else and potentially leave the relationship.
Insecurity can also stem from past experiences that a person has had. If your boyfriend was perhaps cheated on or disappointed in a significant way in a past relationship, he might act in an insecure way towards you. When this happens, he is simply associating you with past trauma and it is damaging your relationship.
So how can you help him through this?