There is no doubt about it. We are living in a very peculiar day and age, and the technological advancements are astonishing. As a result, tech is becoming more and more a part of our lives, and it is opening up the channels of communication in a way that the world has never seen before. While this is incredible in so many ways, it also opens the door to different types of relationships to form.
As you know if you are reading this article, this can be one of the culprits behind emotional affairs. Of course, these types of affairs can stem from friendships or work relationships as well, and if you are the victim of an emotional affair, I know how challenging it is. When an affair happens, it shatters the foundation of your relationship. The trust that you had built with your significant other is currently broken, and it is true that it is not going to be easy to rebuild it. It feels like it is going to be impossible to bounce back from this, but I can assure you that it is possible. After coaching thousands upon thousands of individuals and couples, I can tell you what works and what doesn’t.
So, this is going to be a challenging journey, but it is going to be a very important journey. If you have read my other articles on rebuilding a relationship after cheating, then you know that I often remind my clients that this can be one of the biggest blessings in disguise that you ever experience because it shines a great big light on what needs to change in your relationship so that it can thrive. And if you want your relationship to thrive, this period of healing is going to be crucial.
Your mindset is going to determine the odds of successfully repairing your relationship. And if you’re reading an article on how to forgive someone for emotional cheating, it means that you’re already looking for solutions. You are not just sitting on your couch with your arms crossed, determined to hold a grudge forever. I know how tempting it can be to try to seek revenge or hold this over your partner’s head to make him or her suffer, but I can tell you right now that that will not give you the results you are looking for. If you want to repair your relationship, you have to allow forgiveness to come in.
It isn’t something that is going to happen overnight. Trust takes a long time to build and a few short moments to shatter it. So, as you can imagine, it will take time to rebuild it. But when you rebuild it, you can build it in a new way that keeps your relationship safe in the future. The thing you have to keep in mind is that change is possible, and you CAN ensure that your partner never cheats on you again. It is true that change is very hard, but it is 100% possible. People can break bad habits, and people can become better people and better partners to the ones they love. This is why I was talking about how this situation can be a blessing in disguise. When a person makes a mistake like this and realizes that they’re about to lose everything, it can give them the electroshock that they needed to make the changes that will make their relationship thrive.
An easy way to get yourself into a positive and productive mindset is to simply put yourself in your partner’s shoes. I know that you are probably thinking that you would never in a million years do what he or she did, but let’s just say you made a mistake and did. You would want your partner to give you another chance, right? You would want your partner to believe in your ability to change and make improvements, right? It is important to give your relationship the opportunity to make you happy again if you truly want to be with this person.
The other part that we need to take into consideration here is how forgiving emotional cheating is going to affect your relationship with yourself. There is nothing worse than walking away from a relationship with regret. There have been so many people that have come to me for coaching sessions because they left a relationship with a person they loved out of anger. In many cases the issue was infidelity, but there have been all kinds of situations in which my client was furious and hurt, so they immediately ended the relationship. Later on down the line, they come to realize that maybe they could have worked with their partner to make changes that would have saved the relationship. They wind up full of regrets because they chose to not try to forgive. They chose not to give their partner the chance to change and become better. And one thing is for sure. It’s much easier to repair a relationship when you’re still together than when you’ve already gone your separate ways.
So I commend you for already working on forgiving the person you love. This is going to keep you safe from those intrusive thoughts that plague you when you bow out before giving your partner a chance to earn your trust again.
The key to success when it comes to how to forgive emotional cheating is to give your partner the opportunity to change and make things right. That said, this will also require you to track it. You can give yourself an inner timeline, let’s say 60 days, for your partner to prove to you that things can be different. As you know, actions speak louder than words, so you have to keep an eye on the changes that your partner is making. There cannot be empty promises – especially not now. If after 60 days you feel that things are still exactly the same, then it’s important for you to recognize that it might not be working out. In order for a relationship to work (even when you have forgiven emotional cheating), things need to change to ensure that the cheating never happens again. A simple, “I’m sorry” is not going to be enough to make sure that it never happens again.