Emotional cheating is very real and it can be one of the biggest challenges a couple faces. Many people associate physical cheating with physical intimacy, but there is such a thing as emotional intimacy with a person who is not your partner, and it is a common issue. As a life and relationship coach, it is something that I regularly witness in my coaching sessions.
In today’s article, we will be taking a look at what emotional cheating is exactly, and what you need to do in order to get past it in your relationship. I know that for many people, cheating in any form is a deal-breaker, but I would like to give you all the information, tips, and tools you need in order to make an informed decision that is the best for your relationship.
So whether you want to know how to forgive emotional cheating or whether you even should, you have come to the right place. So let’s get started!
Forgiving emotional cheating: Exploring why this happens
There is no doubt about it. We are living in a very peculiar day and age, and the technological advancements are astonishing. As a result, tech is becoming more and more a part of our lives, and it is opening up the channels of communication in a way that the world has never seen before.
While this is incredible in so many ways, it also opens the door to different types of relationships to form.
As you know if you are reading this article, this can be one of the culprits behind emotional affairs. Of course, these types of affairs can stem from friendships or work relationships as well, and if you are the victim of an emotional affair, I know how challenging it is.
When an affair happens, it shatters the foundation of your relationship. The trust that you had built with your significant other is currently broken, and it is true that it is not going to be easy to rebuild it. It feels like it is going to be impossible to bounce back from this, but I can assure you that it is possible.
After coaching thousands upon thousands of individuals and couples, I can tell you what works and what doesn’t.
So, this is going to be a challenging journey, but it is going to be a very important journey. If you have read my other articles on rebuilding a relationship after cheating, then you know that I often remind my clients that this can be one of the biggest blessings in disguise that you ever experience because it shines a great big light on what needs to change in your relationship so that it can thrive.
And if you want your relationship to thrive, this period of healing is going to be crucial.
Your mindset is going to determine the odds of successfully repairing your relationship. And if you’re reading an article on how to forgive someone for emotional cheating, it means that you’re already looking for solutions. You are not just sitting on your couch with your arms crossed, determined to hold a grudge forever.
I know how tempting it can be to try to seek revenge or hold this over your partner’s head to make him or her suffer, but I can tell you right now that that will not give you the results you are looking for. If you want to repair your relationship, you have to allow forgiveness to come in.
It isn’t something that is going to happen overnight. Trust takes a long time to build and a few short moments to shatter it. So, as you can imagine, it will take time to rebuild it. But when you rebuild it, you can build it in a new way that keeps your relationship safe in the future.
The thing you have to keep in mind is that change is possible, and you CAN ensure that your partner never cheats on you again. It is true that change is very hard, but it is 100% possible. People can break bad habits, and people can become better people and better partners to the ones they love.
This is why I was talking about how this situation can be a blessing in disguise. When a person makes a mistake like this and realizes that they’re about to lose everything, it can give them the electroshock that they needed to make the changes that will make their relationship thrive.
An easy way to get yourself into a positive and productive mindset is to simply put yourself in your partner’s shoes. I know that you are probably thinking that you would never in a million years do what he or she did, but let’s just say you made a mistake and did.
You would want your partner to give you another chance, right? You would want your partner to believe in your ability to change and make improvements, right? It is important to give your relationship the opportunity to make you happy again if you truly want to be with this person.
The other part that we need to take into consideration here is how forgiving emotional cheating is going to affect your relationship with yourself. There is nothing worse than walking away from a relationship with regret. There have been so many people that have come to me for coaching sessions because they left a relationship with a person they loved out of anger. In many cases the issue was infidelity, but there have been all kinds of situations in which my client was furious and hurt, so they immediately ended the relationship. Later on down the line, they come to realize that maybe they could have worked with their partner to make changes that would have saved the relationship. They wind up full of regrets because they chose to not try to forgive. They chose not to give their partner the chance to change and become better. And one thing is for sure. It’s much easier to repair a relationship when you’re still together than when you’ve already gone your separate ways.
So I commend you for already working on forgiving the person you love. This is going to keep you safe from those intrusive thoughts that plague you when you bow out before giving your partner a chance to earn your trust again.
The key to success when it comes to how to forgive emotional cheating is to give your partner the opportunity to change and make things right. That said, this will also require you to track it. You can give yourself an inner timeline, let’s say 60 days, for your partner to prove to you that things can be different. As you know, actions speak louder than words, so you have to keep an eye on the changes that your partner is making. There cannot be empty promises – especially not now. If after 60 days you feel that things are still exactly the same, then it’s important for you to recognize that it might not be working out. In order for a relationship to work (even when you have forgiven emotional cheating), things need to change to ensure that the cheating never happens again. A simple, “I’m sorry” is not going to be enough to make sure that it never happens again.
How to forgive emotional cheating and zero in on the root
When it comes to moving on after an emotional affair, there is a very delicate element that we need to take into consideration. Cheating is generally the symptom of a bigger problem, so if you want to find the solution, you have to zero in on the root of the problem. If your significant other had an emotional affair, it means that they weren’t fully happy in their relationship with you. It means that there was something missing that they felt the need to go find elsewhere. This is the hardest part of the whole thing. Now I am not telling you this to make you blame yourself for what happened. Your partner could have been unhappy and could have decided to work on the issue at hand instead of searching for a connection elsewhere. There are a lot of people that can tell their partners that they are unhappy before they emotionally cheat.
For now, you need to assess how likely your partner is to change, and if you sense that he or she is serious about making this right, then it is up to you to make the choice to forgive them. And if you make the choice to forgive them, you have to forgive them each and every day. Like I said above, there is no sense in holding grudges. There are so many reasons why emotional cheating happens, so it will be important to explore what exactly went wrong in your relationship with your partner. I know that these are not comfortable conversations to have, but by being open and transparent with one another, you will be able to work as a team to fix this.
How to forgive emotional cheating: Setting yourself up for success
Each and every relationship is unique. There are details to your story that will define the best solutions to this problem, and that is why I highly recommend reaching out to us for one on one guidance. We have made it our life’s mission to give you all the tips and tools you need to coach yourself at home through any challenge that you face in your love life. Through our YouTube Channels, our coaching sessions, our products and our books, we have pooled over twenty years worth of knowledge for you.
I also want to tell you that we have a brand new program that is specifically designed for anyone who is struggling with repairing a relationship after their partner cheated. To access it, all you have to do is click here.
There are tools and techniques we share in this program that will help you to recreate the foundation of your relationship and make your bond stronger than ever before. If you would like to work with me or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here. We can ask you targeted questions that will enable us to create a tailor-made action plan designed to help you with successfully getting over an emotional affair and making your relationship better than ever before!
So remember, when it comes to moving on after an emotional affair, you have to make a decision that you continue to make every single day. You will have to work with your partner to identify what the core reason was for him or her emotionally cheating on you, and you will have to work as a team to define the appropriate solutions. You will also have to give him or her the chance to prove to you that they can change, while making sure that they are not making empty promises to you.
Remember, it is possible to trust again after an emotional affair, but it will take time. It is not realistic to think that it is going to happen overnight, but if you remind yourself that this journey is going to be challenging and will be worth it in the end, it will be significantly easier. The more you can think of this period as a catalyst for positive change in your relationship, the better.
Couples do survive emotional cheating, trust me. I see it every single day!
It would be our pleasure to work with you through this period so that your relationship can truly thrive. Remember, when a couple can work through a challenge such as this, their bond becomes stronger than ever before.
I sincerely wish you all the very best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to move on after an emotional affair