Trust is one of the pillars of healthy relationships, and when it is broken, the foundation will start to crumble. A relationship is not going to withstand the test of time if trust is not part of the equation. I work with people every single day who are struggling with broken trust between them and the person they love, and there are various exercises that I use with clients to help them heal the bond between them.
If you are reading this article, chances are that something happened between you that damaged the trust between you but you’ve come to the right place!
I am going to go over some of the best trust building exerces for couples that you can start to implement in your relationship starting today. You will see that with time, the dynamic in your relationship is going to change and you and your partner will start to feel more confident in each other.
Even if there was a shocking event that shattered trust between you, I want you to rest assured that this can change. If you’re willing to put forth the effort and make the necessary changes in your relationship, you will see that a period of broken trust can actually serve to make your relationship much stronger in the future!
How trust building exercises for couples can transform your relationship
So many people come to me for help because there was an event in their relationship that broke the trust that used to exist between them and the person they love.
Very often the issue was that one of the two cheated on the other, but sometimes the issue stems from a substantial lie that came to light, sometimes trust in a relationship is broken because of one person’s behavior or attitude, but whatever the case may be, one thing is always true.
Trust takes a long time to establish between two people and it can be undone in the blind of an eye. Once it’s broken, it is very hard to rebuild.
Fortunately, that does not mean that reestablishing trust in relationships is impossible! As I began saying above, sometimes the best thing that can happen to a relationship is actually a sizable bump in the road.
I know that might sound crazy to you as you’re reading this right now, but I have worked with so many clients that have gone through crises with their significant other that wind up telling me that it was actually the thing that helped them to recalibrate their relationship and set out on a new path together.
You see, when a couple is faced with some type of challenge like this that threatens their relationship, it often serves as a catalyst for very positive change.
It gives them the electroshock they needed to start defining and incorporating solutions, and they end up building relationships that are better equipped to weather the storms that relationships deal with as time goes on.
There will always be ups and downs and the better equipped you are and the more solid of a foundation your relationship has, the easier it will be for you to protect your relationship and operate as a team.
So now that you’re actively working on how to trust someone, I want to give you some tips and tools to deal with rebuilding trust after a traumatic event, but also some tools on how to build trust in a relationship in general.
Trust exercises after betrayal in a relationship
If there has been cheating or lying in the relationship, it is very important to incorporate trust building exercises so that you can begin to restore your bond. Right now there is a divide that has formed between you, and tensions are running high.
When it comes to trust building exercises for couples therapy after your relationship is subjected to some kind of trauma, there are a few things that need to happen…
How to build trust in a relationship when you broke your partner’s trust in you
If you are the person that did something that betrayed your partner’s trust, you need to put an end to it right away. It might be hard to do, but if you want to restore balance, happiness and trust in your relationship, you cannot continue doing the thing that undermined all of these things in the first place.
So if you cheated, it goes without saying that the affair needs to end now. If you lied or deceived your partner in any way, you need to take action to prove to your partner that honesty and transparency are just as important to you as they are to them. Healthy relationships are built on trust, accountability and security, so your partner needs to sense that these are priorities for you, especially going forward.
After the initial shock of finding out what happened, your partner will most likely have questions. Tell them what they want to know, and make sure they feel that you’re willing to share whatever information they need from you. Again, healthy communication is achieved through honesty and transparency, and working on this little by little is going to help them trust you again.
It’s also going to be important to do some introspection and explore why you did something that broke your partner’s trust in you. If you can get to know what drives you and what motivated you to make this mistake, it will be much easier to avoid having it happen again in the future.
So one of the best trust building exercises for couples after infidelity or any other type of betrayal is challenging yourself to do the work to figure out the root of the issue and define what needs to change in the future in order for this to not happen again. Your partner is going to need some time to digest all of this, so be careful to avoid inadvertently suffocating them.
This is challenging, so if you would like one on one guidance through this period, don’t hesitate to reach out to me or a member of my team. Together we can zero in on why this happened in the first place, and what concrete actions would benefit your specific relationship the most.
How to trust someone again after they betrayed you
If the person you love broke your trust, you’re going to have to give yourself some time. You have every right to be upset, and it’s going to take a moment to digest your emotions after the fact. So take your time and be patient with yourself.
Like I said above, trust in relationships takes time to put back together, so once you’re ready, sit down and communicate with your partner about what happened. If you try to do this before you’ve given yourself the chance to work through your emotions, it will only lead to another blowout argument that one of you or both of you might end up regretting later on. This would only make matters worse of course.
When you get the information you need from your partner, give yourself some more time to process again. Detach and gain perspective, and then you can make a joint commitment with your partner to commit to each other and work as a team. Identify what your relationship was missing, and you can begin to strengthen your relationship.
For more help on how to strengthen your relationship after trust was broken, click here!
Trust building exercises in a budding relationship
Perhaps you sought out this article not because your relationship has undergone some kind of traumatic event but because you’re doing what you can to protect your relationship from something like that happening! Trustbuilding is one of the best things you can do in order to strengthen your relationship and protect it, especially at the beginning stages of a relationship.
Now, in order to build trust between you and your significant other, it’s all about communication.
You can begin by letting your partner sense that you are choosing to trust them. Give him or her access to your private channels like your phone passwords, your emails, your social media profiles…
It’s important to give your partner the opportunity to be trusted and to not always assume that they will fail. The more you show your partner that you trust them, the more they will do the same for you and you can cultivate a relationship in which trust naturally builds.
If in the past something has happened to you that makes it hard for you to trust people in a romantic setting, you’re going to have urges to check in. A trust building exercise that you can work on on your own is choosing to give your partner privacy and space every time you feel the urge to check up on them. It will help you to establish new patterns that help you learn to trust them.
You can have your partner help you with this by having them check in or tell you when they go out, but when they do, don’t call, write, or check in any more after that! Choose to trust them and with time, you’ll work up to your partner being able to go out without telling you where they’re going and who they’re with.
And the same goes for you! If you’re going out without your partner, check in every now and then. This way, you can show them that they haven’t been forgotten and you’re thinking of them, too.
Another exercise to build trust comes in the form of talking to each other about your physical boundaries, and then working on respecting those boundaries in the bedroom. Help each other to understand what makes each of you feel safe and secure in the relationship.
Again, communication is key so set some time aside every week to catch up.
Learning how to build trust in a relationship at any stage is possible
Whether something happened that broke the trust between you and the one you love or you’re just working on establishing a proper foundation of trust in your relationship, it’s something that will serve you. Without trust, a relationship cannot flourish because it does not have a solid foundation.
If you cheated on your partner or broke their trust in any other way, you’ll have to stop the behavior that caused this to happen and give him or her some time to digest the situation. Be careful to avoid suffocating them and making matters worse, and when they have questions for you, be sure to be as open and honest as you can be. This will help you to define solutions to the issue at hand, but it will also start to show your partner that trust is being rebuilt.
If your partner broke your trust, make sure you give yourself the time and space to heal before diving into big conversations about what exactly happened and what needs to happen next. You’ll need to be gentle with yourself throughout this process and then you two can begin working as a team to define solutions.
If you’re working on establishing trust in your relationship in general, always remember that communication is key. Choose to trust each other and work together to make sure that both of you feel loved and respected in your relationship. Be conscious of making sure that both of you feel heard and that neither of you feel neglected or forgotten.
If you have found yourself in a complicated situation or if you feel that you would like one on one coaching, all you have to do is reach out to us here. Join the Happily Committed Project and transform your relationship in a meaningful way.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to learn trust building exercises