When you are struggling with a challenging period in a romantic relationship and things are starting to feel too out of control, it is normal that you would start to think about how to identify the signs a relationship is over. I have dedicated my entire life to helping people find happiness in love through coaching and providing relationship advice, and this is one of the questions that people ask me the most often. They want to know how to know when a relationship is over, or if this relationship is still worth fighting for.
I know how exhausting this can be because I’ve seen it many times. To give you an idea, I work with multiple people every single day who come to me with this question.
I wanted to share some of the information and pointers that I give them, so that you can start to find clarity within your own situation right away.
Today’s article will go over the biggest indicators that it is time to close the book on this relationship and begin a new chapter of your life. I will provide you with questions to ask yourself that will help you to determine the best plan of action, and I will give you tools to help coach yourself through this challenging situation.
My expertise is in helping men and women repair broken relationships and transform them into healthy relationships, and the first thing we begin working on together is analyzing the situation.
When your head is swimming with thoughts like, “Is my relationship over,” it becomes easy to panic and let your thoughts spiral. The more you panic, the harder it is to find clarity and find the answer this question.
Figuring out how to know when the relationship is really over is no walk in the park and it can be very challenging, but it becomes much easier when you’re honest and open with yourself. That is why I encourage you to start things off by asking yourself this question, and really taking the time to develop a thorough answer:
What do you truly want?
Do you feel excited at the prospect of becoming single again? Is there a sense of resentment towards your parter? Does the idea of having more freedom to be independent excite you? Are you curious about what else might be out there for you?
Or does the the prospect of ending a good relationship fill you with a deep sense of sorrow and unease?
Finding the answer to this question will provide us with valuable information in regards to how much you are willing to for this relationships.
The thing about saving a relationship is that it really depends on what you’re willing to do to save it. If you’ve already mentally checked out and deep down you know that you are ready to move on from this relationship, then the answer might be that your relationship over.
But I know that for many of you, things aren’t quite so clear. When a relationship is in a tumultuous period, it can give rise to very complex emotions – and sometimes these emotions will change on a daily basis.
So how do you know when the relationship is over and it’s time to move on?
Let’s take a look at some of the biggest signs that it is time to let go.
A good tool for figuring out if ending a relationship is the right move for you is to take a step back and analyze what you truly need. A good tool for this is actually meditation.
Detach yourself from the situation and determine what you need to do in order to take care of yourself.You’ve got to make sure that you respect each other, that you are not suffering from any type of emotional abuse, and that you aren’t in an unhealthy relationship.
Is this relationship draining you and turning you into somebody that you are not? If you feel that this can be fixed by a change in your relationship, then it is time to start working on healing the relationship and changing the dynamic. If you know deep down that the changes you need are not able to happen, then it might be a sign the relationship is over.
Being able to understand what your partner’s feelings and needs is crucial in a relationship that will withstand the test of time.
Especially now that things are tense and you are experiencing disagreements to relationship anxiety, I encourage you to try to listen to your partner’s feelings and concerns without getting angry and frustrated.
It’s very easy to lose our tempers when things are already so frustrating and upsetting, but try to think back on a particular time when your partner felt unloved, and think about what exactly was missing from the relationship.
Were you speaking his or her love language?
Again, analyze the situation to determine whether or not the changes that need to happen are possible (and whether or not you are willing to put in the effort). When you are wondering, “Is it over,” keep in mind that we all have the power to do things that will change the situation and make your relationship healthy.
It’s easy to feel helpless and vulnerable when everything feels upside down, but I often remind my clients that they are in control of more than they might realize. That is why it’s so important to always ask yourself what can be done. Until you feel like you have exhausted all the possible solutions to no avail, the relationship can still be saved if you’re willing to work for it!
We need to relate to one another and emphasize in order to pull in the same direction and avoid an ended relationship.
So as you are analyzing the situation, think about why your partner might not feel supported. If you truly listen to their criticism any use it as a tool to help you make improvements that can save this relationship, you will hear what their true love needs are while transforming your relationship.
Divorce or a breakup should ONLY come when you’ve tried it all over a consistent period of time and have no regrets.
How To Save Your Marriage Alone | 5 Ways To Bring Love Back!
In all these years as a love and relationship coach, there have been some specific relationship problems and signs that I have taken note of that can mean it’s time to end a relationship. Keep an eye out for the following indicators and you will have a much better idea of how to proceed.
• When your partner is unable to stop putting their needs ahead of yours
If your partner keeps prioritizing what they need at your expense, despite your attempts at healing the relationship, then the relationship may have run its course. This is a red flag. A healthy and fulfilling relationship is a two-way road and you need to work as a team to find solutions and reinforce your bond. If only one person is trying and the other is consistently being a narcissist and is being selfish, it’s not going to work.
• The dreaded blame game
Whether your question is “How to know when a casual relationship is over,” “How to know when a long-distance relationship is over,” or “How to know when a marriage is over,” I want you to pay attention to the dynamic between you and your partner. Are you constantly pointing fingers and playing the blame game? Are you unable to take responsibility for your mistakes?
If the truth is that it doesn’t matter if you’re in a long-term relationship or not, if you have become opponents rather than teammates, then it’s a pretty good indicator when it’s over.
• When you only see the bad
A good way to know when it’s time to split up is to look at how you and your partner see each other. Do you still see the good in one another, or is everything clouded by your relationship issues? Are you still inspired by each other? Do you still feel excited at the prospect of a future together or does it feel like a weight on your shoulders?
When you and your partner see absolutely no good in each other anymore, feel no sense of inspiration anymore, and do not have positive emotions associated with each other, it could mean that this relationship is ending.
• Possessiveness when ending a relationship
Another important element to factor in when you’re trying to determine when it’s time to end your relationship is how much freedom your partner gives you. This is true for both new relationships and old relationships. If he or she is cutting you off from your friends and family and it does not seem like this is going to be able to change, then this can help you determine the answer to your question. Good relationships involve trust and space for independence, and if you’re not getting any of this then it might be time to let go.
• When your partner takes no responsibility
If your partner is unable to see and address their mistakes, and continuously blames you for everything, there is a problem. If your partner is unwilling to change or thinks that you are the issue on a regular basis, it can signify the end of a relationship.
Broken Trust | Best Way to Regain Broken Trust in a Relationship
There are sometimes situations that I come across in which it is pretty clear that the relationship needs to come to an end.
The most obvious indicator is when a person is in a toxic relationship or an abusive relationship in which their partner is hurting them physically or emotionally.
One of the most clear-cut answers to “How to know when to end my relationship” is when you feel that you’ve tried everything to make it work but you’re the only one fighting to make this relationship survive. Like I said above, you are in control of your actions and how you approach the situation. If you can confidently say that you have done everything in your power to make this relationship work and it still isn’t working, then it is probably time to let go and to break up with him or her.
In addition to this, when enough time has passed and you’re coming from a place of emotional stability, and you know in your heart of hearts that there’s nothing more that you can do, the relationship is probably over.
If you still need help navigating through this challenging situation, join the Happily Committed Project and let us provide you with tailored love advice to help you repair your relationship or move on from it and a meaningful way. As a team of dedicated love and relationship experts, we are here to help you every step of the way. If you would like one on one coaching with me or member of my team, all you have to do is click here. You can also leave any comments or relationship questions you might have in the comment section below.
I know how hard it is to navigate through these waters, especially when you have been in a serious relationship with this person for so long.
Just think about what can be done to save the relationship, what you are willing to do to save the relationship, what your partner is willing to do to save the relationship, what is possible, and what is impossible.
A decision like this can be very hard to make when you feel like you haven’t properly analyzed the situation and explored all of your options.
A difficult decision becomes an easy one when you have more information.
We are here to help you every step away so don’t hesitate to browse through our various articles and videos available on this website related to saving a relationship or moving on from one. To access our specially designed product to help you move on from a relationship with grace and peace of mind, all you have to do is click the link!
Wishing you the very best in life and love,
Your coach when you need answers about how to know when a relationship is over
No spam, notifications only about news, events and updates.
“How long before moving in together?” This is a question I’ve been asked time and time again throughout my coaching sessions, and it’s no surprise!
A long time ago, he made a mistake that hurt you deeply. Your relationship was rocked by infidelity, but you put in the work to
Is your man dragging his feet when it comes to popping the question? In your mind, your relationship has long been ready for marriage, but
During my time as a love and relationship expert here at Happily Committed, I’ve seen every kind of relationship you can imagine. Everyone who comes
10 Responses
My husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for 11 months (high school sweethearts). I had a feeling he was cheating Bc I felt it in my gut. I went through his phone & found flirty messages with his former friend’s ex. She knows me, was there to celebrate our engagement. So she knows that going along with this was wrong. I messaged her & told her that I just wanted the truth. She owed me that at least Bc he would not give it to me. She swore to me that all they did was flirt & he told her our marriage was falling apart. I immediately left my husband. For 2 months he begged and pleaded for forgiveness. I agreed to give our marriage another chance. The very next day after I move back in the girl messaged me screenshots of him messaging her asking if she will ever speak to him again. These messages occurred 2 weeks before I moved Back in.
She never responded to any of his pleas.
& said she sent me the pictures to prove that she was not the one after him. I confronted him & his story is that he wanted to speak to her one last time to “apologize” for putting her in a bad situation. The obvious answer is to leave, I know it in my heart. But I feel stuck. I had my family help me move out then move back in. How do I overcome this feeling of looking stupid to the world AGAIN !! Not even 24hrs after I moved back in! He swears he loves me. But the fact that i know he was trying to get her attention has me feeling that if she would give him the time of day, he would pick her over Me. I feel like I’m the 2nd choice. & I don’t see that feeling going away. I don’t even want him to touch me. This whole situation has me sick to my stomach Bc I was already gone !! Why bring me back for this!!?
Hi Alexis, I am sorry to read that you’re in such a tough situation. It’s easy to return to someone when you love them, but I applaud you for recognizing that you aren’t being given what you deserve. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. Moving on to a lifetime of happiness is an incredible thing, and don’t worry about looking “stupid” to your loved ones. You are not, you gave this your best, and now your questions are answered. If you need an extra hand, please don’t hesitate to download the program we’ve created to help people move on with peace of mind. To access it, just click here. Wishing you all the best!
I’m 37 and I’ve been married for only 5 months and we were dating for 5 years before that. I swear, two months before my wedding I had so many doubts, no peace and not in love with him, but I still married him thinking this will get better. We got married during Covid and we had no reception or honeymoon and I’m starting to think I truly am not in love with my husband. We are good friends, but I’m always missing my single life and what if I would have met a different man. I dislike being in this marriage. We have a life coach who counsels us, but he told me to give it a year before i fully decide to walk out. I don’t feel he loves me the same either and we are just good friends who married each other. I probably would have served him the papers already if I wasn’t so involved in a church and with so many people around us. Is this too soon??
Thank you for the post. Only you can reflect to determine if the 5 months is considered too soon. You need to consider the importance and value of your happiness as well as self love and growth, but also consider how your current relationship could blossom to provide all the things mentioned. It will take time, work and energy. These are things to consider. Couples counseling is an option as well.
Thanks
Coach Priyanka
Hi. I’ve been married 23 years to my high school sweetheart. I’ve been having an emotional affair with a coworker for the last 5 years. He ended it 2 weeks ago and I’m devastated. I love my husband, but haven’t been in love with him for quite some time. He doesn’t know about the affair. I plan on telling him, when I’m not so emotionally charged. Obviously there is something wrong with my marriage. I just don’t know how or if I even want to fix it. The reasons I want to fix it are mainly for my kids who are 16 and 18 and because I don’t want to hurt him. I’ve always put everyone’s happiness before my own and I’m exhausted. My husband is a pushover and never been a good leader in our family. He is boring and the least spontaneous person I know. And doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. But he is a good provider and would do anything for me if I asked. The affair is done and I would not form a relationship with this other man. I realize he was a symptom of my marital problems not the cure. I’m just lost.
I am married for 22years ..i always knew i was not inlove with him. But he was a great guy, safe, the one one your parents are proud of but absolutely no chemistry.Then came the kids and now 22 years later i feel cheated by life..I just want to me inlove..but fear its too late.Would love to know if anyone else had similar experience and what they did..My heart wants to go but i feel trapped
I am married 20 years and together 22. I always believed he was my soul mate. We went through a rocky patch and I have to admit I made a huge mistake and had an affair. He forgave me. Took me back and God knows he tries so hard everyday, he loves me and is an amazing man. But recently I’ve realised that he’s just my best friend. I have no sexual attraction towards him any more. I’ve tried s to leave but he’s so hurt and so are our kids. I feel guilted into staying. Is it fair on any of us if we stay together.
Thanks Lisa
If you have taken time out and truly believe this person is no longer someone you want to be with for the rest of your life, but only just a friend, it is fair and respectful to let your partner know. I know you have mentioned you have tried to leave and he becomes so hurt along with the kids, but trying to have additional discussions as partners first and then later with kids. Try to align with him first and coming up with a solution and plan for the kids. It is unfair to yourself and him if you both continue this. However please be absolutely sure before you embark on this journey. We do offer articles to help with topics to restore a marriage if you are interested.
Thanks
Happily Committed.
I my closest friend out and she said no, I didn’t chase her so it doesn’t cost our friendship.
She ends up finding someone else. Whilst heartbroken I’m happy for her. So I decide to move on by getting back with ex.
We both get married, me first then her. She is going through a divorce and I confessed I still love her and always do. Problem is, I’m married and now with all the other challenges in my marriage (from day one) I’m unhappy but struggling to leave because I get on well with my wife and I’m afraid of hurting her.
What do I do?
Hi im 30 yr old m married to my husband for 5 years ours os love marriage after 2 years pf knowing eachother,
after our marriage we had to stay separate cz of our jobs, we starting living together after two years of marriage, in the meantime there happened some disturbances which made me believe that we are not alike and the mentalities, believes the way we live are totally different in this course of time when i came to back to him from different city here i met someone in my office who is already married to another and was having a child of one year old when i met him, definitions of love changed we felt good being with each other and we believed that we are for one another and are so very twined.
Now we are into so very intense relationship which made me bear his child, my son is 2yr old now
My marriage with my husband is not really working out and now i want to Divorce him and marry the one with whom im in love with
We are stuck, we both know what we want we both know how but are afraid of consequences.
Im in a situation where in i cant be ok with living with my husband as everything fell apart between he and me m not feeling anything for him now rather than the respect for his good manners
M feeling like his life shouldn’t be wasted on me he should move forward and see someone else atleast then he may get what he deserves
How can i divorce him without revealing anything about my wanted child with someone else