Getting involved with needy people
In my experience, codependent people often choose relationships with needy people, simply because this type of person makes it easy for them to feel needed.
For some people, these interpersonal relationships can actually turn into toxic relationships, and for others it just creates an imbalance that starts to damage the relationship. Either way, the foundation begins to crumble and it becomes very hard for the relationship to survive in a healthy way.
So if you are searching for the answer to “What is codependency in marriage or in relationships” to see if it is what you are experiencing, ask yourself this:
Is there anything that you are doing to make sure that your significant other needs you?
Do you have a hard time identifying your own feelings?
When you’re so used to being there for someone else and making it all about them, it’s not uncommon for a person to lose sight of who they are and what exactly they need.
Do you only feel important and valued in your relationship when your partner clearly expresses that they want and need you around?
If you’re answering yes to these questions, then you’re experiencing codependency traits.
The dangers of emotionally depending on someone
I briefly started talking about this above, but in addition to making you feel uneasy and anxious in your relationship, it can started damage the dynamic between you and your significant other.
When a person begins to act needy and clingy in a relationship, which is typically what happens when a person is codependent, their partner will begin to crave space from them. It’ll become dangerously easy for your partner to start to feel smothered, feel unhappiness in the relationship, and maybe even develop narcissistic tendencies, and the natural dynamic between you will begin to change. Like I said, this is when you will begin to crave reassurance, which leads to more neediness, which in turn leads to your partner pulling away. The more they pull away, the more reassurance you will seek.
If you’re suffocating your partner and making them feel like you cannot exist without them, they will start to desire space from you, even if you aren’t trying to be manipulative.
But don’t panic! Space is actually the ideal thing for creating new dynamic between you. Sometimes the best solution is to put a little space between you so that you can make a stronger comeback!
It is really important to keep in mind that when someone stops presenting a exciting challenge, it becomes easy to take them for granted and lose interest. We often work with people who would like to get back together with ex partners, and this is one of the main concepts we go over with them.
The main solution for codependent behavior is reestablishing confidence and independence in your own life. One of the best ways to do this is to work with someone like me or a member of my team, who can help you get to the root of the problem and provide you with concrete advice and exercises to help you change these patterns. You don’t need a rescuer, you can heal this on your own with some guidance. It’s all about self care and changing habits in a healthy way.
As this article on what codependency is comes to a close, I would like to offer you some solutions that you can start implementing in your daily life.
Healing codependency in your relationship today
The biggest thing you can do starting right now is to get busy. Your relationship should not be the center of your universe – there needs to be balance between your different “lives.” Your love life is not the only one you have. It’s important to think about your social life, your professional life, your family, etc.
Starting to prioritize people and activities that bring you joy (that are unrelated to your significant other). Start picking up old hobbies and passions, challenge yourself to work on personal and professional goals, spend ample time with your friends and family.
The goal is to fill up your schedule with things that make you feel joy. Now is it time to remind yourself of what you bring to the table and that you are able to make yourself happy. The moment your happiness begins to depend on another person, you do yourself a disservice and put unnecessary pressure where it does not need to be.
Join The Happily Committed Project and transform your relationship in a dignified and meaningful way. Together we can work on reaching your goal by providing you with a clear-cut action plan that has been tailor-made to fit your relationship, your situation, and your specific needs. We have created a product specifically designed to help you overcome codepedency and insecurity in a relationship. If you would like to access it, all you have to do is click here!
Wishing you the absolute best in life and love
Your coach when you are looking for the answer to “What is codependency,”