When your heart is broken, the world seems like it has lost its luster and that nothing could possibly make it feel better. It’s hard to think about anything else when you have separated from the person you love, and it seems to make you feel tired and heavy during the day, and anxious and wide awake at night. These feelings and emotions are incredibly draining and I know how hard it is to see the light at the end of the tunnel. That is precisely why I wanted to write this article for you today! I want you to rest assured that this painful period WILL pass, and that there are plenty of things that you can do to speed up the process.
Learning how to mend a broken heart is easier than you might think, and actions that you can start doing today can make a huge difference. I will be talking about the main techniques to use to free yourself from this slew of negativity whether this is your first heartbreak or not, whether this is a breakup that you never saw coming, whether you were the one that decided to exit the relationship… At the end of the day, each situation leads to pain, and my goal today is to show you how to free yourself from it in a healthy, productive and sustainable way.
It is very easy to turn to coping tools that feel good in the moment but wind up making you feel even worse a few weeks or months down the line. That is why it is so important to set yourself up for success. Fortunately, you are already on the right track. You have gone out of your way to seek out an article that will teach you how to do this, so I see that you are ready to be productive and proactive. Hats off to you! So let’s dive right in.
I want to start things off by answering this very simple question. When people come to me for help in recovering from a broken heart, one of their first questions is often, “Is there even a way to fix this?” Is there anything you can do to overcome a feeling that seems to cloud every part of your life right now? The good news is that yes, there is a cure for a broken heart and you’re already starting the process. The cure is proactivity and like I said above, the fact that you have gone out of your way to find this article and learn about what tools are available to you means that you’re on the right track, and you are ready to do the work. The fact that you know that you want to fix something is huge. It’s the first step towards recovery. Without the desire to change things, nothing will change. Or at least, it will take a considerably longer time for things to change.
So if you have been wondering, “How do I mend my broken heart,” I want you to know that proactivity is the key. When I am helping someone heal a broken heart, I always make it a point to clearly explain why it is so important to fight the temptation to isolate yourself and wallow. I know that most of the time, that seems like the most attractive option, but it is also the most destructive. By wallowing, you’re only prolonging the process. Yes, you need to dedicate some time to feeling your feelings and making sure you aren’t suppressing them, but there is a balance to be struck between releasing these emotions and not letting them control your life. By the time you reach the end of this article, you will have a pretty clear idea of how to do that.
Recovering today is possible. With your new mindset and new approach, you can set things in motion that will give you results that you’ll start to notice very quickly. It’s just one decision away, and that decision is to focus on you and to redirect all of your energy to personal development. This is why I said that you are in control of way more than you might realize! If you want to mend a broken heart, it all begins with you. We need to disconnect from the relationship and focus your energy on yourself and your own actions. You will disconnect from the relationship, to reconnect with yourself.
By focusing your energy on yourself, you are setting yourself up for success. You are taking the reins and you’re going to start proving to yourself that you are bigger than this heartbreak. Even if it feels like you have never in your life felt pain like this, the moment you start realizing that you are capable of alleviating it, you will start to take back your power and give yourself I powerful burst of productive energy and reassurance.
Now is the time to commit to yourself. It might take weeks, it might take months, but if you can commit to yourself right now, the process will be sped up exponentially. It’s time to reconnect with what you offer yourself, what you offer your friends and family, what you offer your community, what you offer your professional network… it’s time to think about the things about yourself that make you happy, and the things that you would like to change about yourself.
I often tell my clients that a breakup and heartbreak are often the biggest blessings in disguise. Of course, when you’re in the thick of it, it feels like you’re drowning in sorrow, but all of this serves as a powerful catalyst for positive change. It is granting you the opportunity to hit the reset button in your life, take a long hard look at improvements to be made, and it is giving you a chance to fully implement these changes. In doing so, you are laying out a new foundation for your life that not only will mend your heartbreak, but it will set you up for future success in your personal life and your love life. Alright, enough with the theoretics. Let’s start talking about what to do concretely!
Let’s talk about how to cure a broken heart. As you’ve come to understand, you need to focus on yourself. But what does that look like? How do you do that? First things first, if you haven’t done so already, you have to unfollow your ex on social media. Visual stimulus is incredibly powerful and people very often don’t realize how true the adage, “Out of sight, out of mind” truly is. If you are constantly being exposed to what he or she is doing via their social media profiles, you’re only going to be receiving triggers that make you relive the past. It’s only going to make you miss the good times and think about your sorrows. There is honestly no need for this and it prevents you from moving forward. If you can’t fight the temptation to go snooping through their posts, it would be wise to block them.
Instead, make sure that you’re spending time with people you love and admire that make your life better. It’s important to curate an atmosphere in your life that lifts you up. Even on social media, remove accounts that don’t make you feel good. Instead, follow accounts that inspire you and give you positive emotions! This can and should be applied to your living space as well. One of the absolute best ways to mend a broken heart is to switch up your environment.
I encourage you to start by rearranging your furniture to breathe some fresh air into your space. I know that you probably have so many memories linked to the rooms in your house, so take this opportunity to invite a feeling of freshness in. Take all the objects that remind you of your ex and put them in a box that you either throw away or keep out of sight. You can think about changing the pictures on the wall, getting some new bedsheets, or even painting the walls a new color. It’s incredible how much of a difference a new space can affect your frame of mind!
So surround yourself with new visual stimulus AND the people who lift you up. Surround yourself with people that make you feel like a person who is worthy of love and respect, people that bring you joy and laughter, and people that are happy to share new experiences with you. Take this time to explore new places. Why not go on a weekend getaway with your two best friends or your siblings and see something new. You can go to nature or explore a neighboring city… Try to think about how you can fill your days with newness!
I know that at this point, it has felt really challenging to heal your broken heart, but your heart is what needs some nurturing right now. You can help yourself heal by freshening things up. And don’t forget the power of stepping outside of your comfort zone. There is no better way to experience new things than to challenge yourself to try something you’ve never done before. How about going rock climbing? How about taking a salsa dancing class? What if you and your best friend tried windsurfing? If you want to do something a little less intense, why not try something new like doing a gelato-making class?
Right now, your heart is hurting. The truth is that you heal the heart by reconnecting with yourself. You don’t heal the heart and then reconnect with yourself; you heal the heart by reconnecting with yourself. This can be fixed by mending your relationship with yourself and the way you live your life. When you can do this, your relationship with your ex becomes secondary and starts to have way less of an effect on you. So many people can attest to the fact that they sacrificed part of who they were in the relationship, and this disconnect from yourself is one of the main reasons why things hurt so badly right now. It’s an interesting concept. We assume that the main pain is caused by the loss of a significant other and a relationship, but the pain is actually caused by the feeling that we “need” this person. The need for this person stems from a disconnect from the sense of self and a kind of addiction to the relationship. It’s an extremely common phenomenon, but it’s also easy to fix.
As we dive deeper into healing a broken heart by reconnecting with yourself, let’s talk about the importance of physical exercise. If you’re feeling anxious and tired at the same time, if you find it really challenging to sleep soundly, if you catch yourself wanting to check your ex’s social media all the time, please know that all of this is perfectly normal. Breakups are very, very painful. It takes time, but again, you can speed up the process. Another useful tip is to increase the amount of physical and mental exercise in your life. I say both physical and mental because you can also train your mind to become stronger and more resilient. Yoga is an excellent tool for this. Through the physical practice, you strengthen your muscles and make your muscles more flexible, and by doing so, you simultaneously train your mind to do the same. The meditative quality teaches you to quiet your thoughts and remain in control. I also recommend pairing this with rigorous exercise. Cardio is great because the more you can sweat and get your heart rate up, the more you can empty your emotional reservoir. We store so much tension in our bodies, so it is very important to allow give ourselves opportunities to release it. On top of that, the more you can tire yourself out with a good workout, the more endorphins (aka the “feel good” chemical) you release, AND the better you sleep at night. The more active you become, the more energy your mind and body have on a daily basis.
Speaking of exercises, I have a mental exercise for you to heal your broken heart. Take a pen and a piece of paper, and describe your dream person. If you’re a woman, write out what your ideal woman is like, and if you’re a man, write out what your ideal man is like. What do they do for work? What is their personality like? Where do they live? Who do they hang out with? What are their values? Take some time to really think about your ideal version of self, and start becoming this person. Make a bucket list for yourself and watch yourself grow. You can use this time to start checking things off of this list and use this to mend your broken heart. This is going to evaluate your self confidence. A person’s ego and pride take a huge hit after a breakup, so you are probably feeling down in the dumps. A big thing to keep in mind, however, is that a sense of self-confidence comes from a sense of accomplishment. In other words, the more you do, the better you feel!
When you’re working on how to cure a broken heart, I want you to know that you can be happy after a breakup. I know that some days it feels like you will never be happy again, but after having coached thousands of individuals all around the world, I can confidently tell you that you can and you will find happiness after a breakup if you approach it in the right way. The key is to turn this into an opportunity like I was saying above. Make sure that you are not allowing yourself to fixate and obsess over what you lost. Instead, choose to learn from the adversity you have faced and turn this into an opportunity for you to become a better person and a better partner in the future. The most challenging experiences often provide us with the most growth and lead us down a path towards future success that wouldn’t be possible without the challenge!
The pattern I have seen is that the people who have the right mindset and use this painful experience as fuel as usually the ones that bounce back faster and find happiness much sooner after a breakup. A very useful tip for this is challenging yourself to focus on gratefulness. Whenever you’re feeling down, list 5 things that you are grateful for. It’s really easy to fixate on the negative and on what you don’t have, and subsequently forget about all the great things you do have. Practice focusing on positive things and train your mind to switch from negative thoughts to positive ones. The more you do this, the more natural it will become.
You can also take this time to go out of your way to volunteer. One of the best ways to feel better within yourself is to help those in need. Not only are you making their lives better, you’re cultivating a sense of purpose within yourself as well. It’s a win win!
As this article comes to a close, I want to mention that in addition to all of the content that we’ve created around this topic on our blog and across our YouTube Channels, we have created a brand new program designed to teach you how to move on from a breakup in the quickest way possible. We have combined over 20 years of experience in this product, and after doing what we do for so many years, I can confidently tell you what works and what doesn’t.
To summarize what we went over today in this article, the key to mending a broken heart is getting back in control of your life. Now is the time to create a sense of freshness in your life. Pay attention to what you expose yourself to on social media and switch up your environment. Give your living space some TLC and start working on making things feel fresh. Expand your comfort zone on your own and with the people that make you happy. Challenge yourself to do at least one new thing each week!
Yes, you have the right to be hurt, yes you have the right to be angry and upset, but do your part to make it easier on yourself.
When you feel the urge to reach out to your ex, call your best friend instead. When you start fixating on the memories of the things you used to do with your ex, go out and try something new like go-karting or beer tasting with your group of friends. Try to come up with things to replace the old, out-dated thoughts that cause you pain. The more you do it, the more your thought patterns will change and the closer you will get to overcoming this breakup. You aren’t going to feel like this forever, trust me.
This is a transformative period that will serve as fuel. One day in the not so far future, you’ll look back on this period and feel a sense of gratitude towards yourself for deciding to get active and bounce back from this breakup.
As always, we are here to help so please don’t hesitate to reach out for one on one guidance. To work with my or a member of my team, all you have to do is click here.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to mend a broken heart
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