If you have read this article and are under the impression that the man you’ve been seeing isn’t quite in love with you yet, I want you to know that you can influence the situation through your approach. As we briefly went over above, a man is attracted to an exciting challenge. When he feels like everything is being handed to him on a silver platter, it makes it dangerously easy for him to take you for granted. One of the most common mistakes I see in women who are trying to get someone to fall for them are:
1. Bending over backward to make him happy
2. Always talking about how much they feel for him and how attracted they are to him
3. Making themselves available 24/7 to him
4. Losing track of their personal lives, goals, hobbies, friends and family
This is such a common topic. So many people I work with want to make sure that the man develops the same deep feelings, so they end up giving to him. Giving him time, giving him attention, even giving him gifts… In other words, they’ll try everything they can to SHOW the man how much they love him. Unfortunately, this doesn’t make a man fall in love with you. It only takes away from your own sense of wellbeing. As I was saying above, you have to be living a life that makes you feel great. This is for you, not for the man, but it will have a very positive effect on how he sees you. When he sees you thriving, living your best life, being the absolute best version of yourself, he is going to become more and more attracted to you and the life you live. In Hollywood and Disney movies, the example we receive as we are growing up is that if you want to receive more love, you have to give more love. But that’s not quite how it works. When you approach the situation like this, you just end up losing yourself. A man will fall in love with you when he realizes that you are special, and that there isn’t anyone else like you. He has to understand that you are unique.
When I tell this to people, many of them say, “Okay, but I don’t think I’m all that special.” The truth is that you are! There is literally no other person on this entire planet that is like you. The more you can show him who you are, what you love, what dreams you’re working towards, and how you want to create your future, the more likely he will be to fall in love with you. So many people try to play a role to get a man to fall in love and there is no way that this can work longterm. You can’t expect to continue to play a role for the rest of your life. That is no way to be truly happy. You have to be yourself, be confident in who you are and in what you bring to the table.
At the end of the day, any woman can give a man love and attention, but no other woman in this world can be you. There are so many articles out there that tell you what you need to change about yourself in order to make a man fall in love with you, but that is not the winning philosophy. You need to fall in love with yourself in order to make a man fall in love with you. In other words, the happier you are with yourself and what you can offer, the more attractive you will be to another person. If you think about it, people are attracted to people who are happily living the life of their dreams like moths to a flame. So don’t hesitate to talk about your passions, the music you like, the places you’ve gone, the exciting things you’ve done.
This man will fall in love with who you are; not what you give to him. So many people I work with come to me saying, “I really don’t understand. I give him so much love, I do everything for him, I try to show him how much I love him all the time. When a man really loves you, doesn’t he do the same?” The problem here is that this makes it too easy for him to take you for granted, and when a man takes you for granted, he’s not going to develop feelings of love. Both men and women work like this. We all value what we don’t have. So if you want this man to fall in love with you, you have to make sure that you are unique and that he sees it, you have to avoid being needy or clingy. You have to be confident and remember that the more that you give, the easier it is for the other person to take and not give back. There needs to be balance, and he needs to pursue you AND meet you halfway.
The other thing we need to keep in mind is that you have to give it time. We worked with someone recently who had been dating someone and they were having such a good time together, but the man wasn’t falling in love with her. Spending a good time together isn’t enough! You have to build proper chemistry and more often than not, for a man, men need time before they fall in love. They also need time to be themselves.