Moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend is a huge step! It is an extremely exciting time and it marks a new chapter in your relationship. Things between you and the one you love have become more serious, and you’re starting to work on joint projects now.
In addition to that, moving in together and living together is one of the absolute best ways to get to know a person on an even deeper level.
I’ve often thought that traveling with a person and living with a person are the best ways to truly get to know them. So, when you’re moving in together with the one you love, what are the most important things to keep in mind? How can you make this process as smooth and seamless as possible?
Today’s article is going to focus on developing the perfect moving in together checklist for you and your boyfriend or girlfriend so that you can set yourselves up for success!
As exciting as it all is, it’s important to keep in mind that moving can be quite stressful and it is possible that tensions might arise. That said, there are solutions to these problems and I will be going over them with you right here.
Once you two have moved in together, you’re going to have to lay out a new foundation for your relationship. You’ll need to factor in your schedules, how to guard against the routine, what to do if kids are involved… So let’s dive in, shall we?
How to talk to your significant other about moving in together
Moving in together is such an important step and it’s such an important symbol of progress in your relationship. It’s an incredibly fun experience but it can also be very nerve-wracking as well. If you are thinking about making the big move, it’s crucial that you have a serious talk with your partner about it.
This might seem blatantly obvious to you, but a lot of the people I work with realize that they just expected that they’d move in with their boyfriend or girlfriend after X amount of time, whereas their partner did not see things the same way at all! So I want to start things off by talking about how to approach the subject of when to move in together with the one you love.
The first thing to bear in mind is that timing is everything. If you’re trying to rush moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend, they could easily feel pressured and pull away – which, of course, is the exact opposite of what we want in this situation.
It’s not uncommon for people to get very excited about the prospect of moving in together and inadvertently jump ahead. Many of us imagine the day we get married and have children from a very early age, and moving in together with a boyfriend or girlfriend can feel like a wonderful step in that direction. The problem arises when this step feels rushed and your significant other feels pressured!
So my first piece of advice is to factor in your partner’s timeline and make sure that sharing your first apartment or house together does not make your partner feel like he or she is being pushed. In addition to this, make sure that you aren’t trying to move in together because you’re feeling societal pressures!
The next thing I want to bring your attention to is the importance of not using this as a tool to fix your relationship. We have seen so many instances in which a person tries to use moving in, or getting married, or even getting pregnant as a bandaid for their relationship because they’re afraid they’re going to break up!
When there is an underlying issue in the relationship, focusing on the commitment is not going to fix the problem. Focusing on fixing the problem is what is going to save your relationship, not changing your living situation! Truth be told, moving in together and trying to use it as a bandaid usually has the opposite effect and can really undermine a relationship.
If you’re living in the same place and are constantly fighting, the fights can become even more explosive and tensions can really rise. Focus instead on what you can change or adjust to make the relationship more stable and more healthy.
When your relationship is in a place where you feel comfortable and happy together, moving in and living together will come naturally. Just focus on making your relationship feel gratifying for both of you, and you can give your boyfriend or girlfriend a sneak peek into how it would be to live with you.
If you can make little gestures that show that living with you would be an added value in your partner’s life, they will be more inclined to want to live together. For more information on how to do this, I encourage you to watch this video:
Before moving in together checklist: Communication
Before we dive into the biggest tips for moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, I want to go over the most important thing of all: Communication!
When you begin sharing a living space with someone, you’re going to need to discuss the ins and outs of what you expect from each other. I always remind my clients that no one can read minds! While it might seem logical for you to put all your dirty dishes in the dishwasher before you go to bed, your partner might not feel the same. While your partner might still want to go out a couple of nights a week and hang out with their friends, you might wind up feeling a bit left out. Little things like this can accumulate and cause there to be frustrations between you.
So before you move in together, I can’t stress the importance of talking to each other enough. This is the best thing that you two could do for yourselves when you’re thinking about your moving in together checklist.
Take some time to observe how you live in your own space and think about how your significant other would perceive it. Are you messy? Are you organized? What could you do to make your living situation with your partner make him or her feel cozy and happy?
This brings me to the most important things to do when moving in with your significant other.
Talk about your expectations when you’re moving in together
It’s true that you might be used to spending quite a bit of time together already, but you’re both going to need to talk to each other about what you need in terms of your personal time.
A person’s hobbies, goals, friends and family should not be neglected just because they have the opportunity to spend all their time with their partner. I cannot stress the importance of maintaining these elements in your life enough! Perhaps you two would want to set aside time for yourselves to have a date night once a week, but also set aside time for both of your individual activities.
Maintaining a healthy amount of independence strengthens a relationship, and communication will be your biggest tool for striking the right balance.
Don’t hesitate to bring your belongings!
When you’re moving in with someone, one of the things I remind my clients of is the fact that you should be bringing both of your belongings into the living space.
So if you’re moving to your partner’s place, bring things from your home that make it feel cozy and familiar to you. The same is true if your partner is moving into your home!
Bring furniture, picture frames, and anything that makes a space feel like it’s yours as well. This is something that a lot of people struggle with when they’re moving in with their significant other. For a while, it feels like they’re just living in their partner’s space and they can’t quite find their place.
If you can create an atmosphere that feels more familiar for both of you, then moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend will feel even more natural.
Things to do when moving in with your partner
When you start living with your boyfriend or girlfriend, I also recommend talking about how you’re going to be dividing up chores around the house, and how both of you like to maintain a sense of cleanliness and order in your living space. This goes back to what I was saying at the beginning of this article about how different people have different ways of operating at home and what might seem totally normal to one person might not be the same for the other.
This is one of the most important topics I bring up when I’m working with people who are moving in together when kids are involved. There will be a different dynamic in your living space now and it’s important to go over who’s going to be taking care of what, and if there are children involved, it’s going to be important to talk to them as well.
They might not be used to having a new person give them chores and discipline them, so make sure that you and your partner are on the same page about that.
For more in-depth information on how to navigate moving in together when there are kids involved, I encourage you to read this article.
What to do before moving in together with the one you love
At the end of the day, it all boils down to communication. You and your significant other need to think about how to communicate your needs to one another. No one can read minds and as exciting as moving in together is, it can also be quite challenging.
Make sure you think about why exactly you want to move in together.
Make an effort to anticipate one another’s needs and go out of your way to make each other feel comfortable in your new home.
Talk about how you’re going to split up chores and how you’re going to maintain some alone time in addition to some quality time together.
Now that you’re going to be living in the same place, it’ll be important to guard against letting the routine settle in. You don’t want your relationship to become monotonous and predictable!
As always, we are here to help you so please don’t hesitate to reach out. Each relationship is entirely unique and we are here to help guide you from A to Z. I’ve gone over some general keys to success in this article, but we can work together to develop a custom action plan to set you and your partner up for longterm bliss together! In addition to this, if you’re feeling insecure in the situation, I encourage you to download our brand new product on battling insecurity. To access it, all you have to do is click here.
As a team of dedicated love and relationship experts, we have made it our goal to provide you with all the tips and tools you need for creating a loving and fulfilling home with your significant other.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re working on your moving in together checklist