It’s important to note that men tend to root their identity in their ability to provide for themselves and for their families, so if you’re pressuring your boyfriend to commit before he has found his purpose that can help him to provide, he may be unwilling to commit and will therefore pull away.
This is actually something I see happening all the time, and this is also why it can be so confusing for the person on the receiving end of this negative behavior. You thought that everything was going so well and that this was turning into a serious relationship, but he is pulling away so much that it looks like the opposite is happening.
So I encourage you to ask yourself if perhaps you unwittingly put pressure on him and made him feel that he needs to be something that he’s not quite ready to be yet. Make sure you give your man time to discover who he is!
What to do when he pulls away: Focusing on YOU
The best thing to do when you feel your man pulling away is to actually start focusing on yourself. I know that may seem a little counterintuitive, but if a man is pulling away, it means that he needs space and unfortunately feels like that he needs to impose this need into the dynamic between you.
So, I know you’re probably wondering, “Should I text him,” or are asking yourself how to make a guy want you again, but the best thing you could do is to get busy with something else!
The less things you have going on, the easier it is to fixate on him and risk making him want to pull even further away.
So I highly recommend filling up your schedule with people and activities that bring you joy, and that you start focusing more on personal and professional goals. In addition to helping to add more balance to your life and relationship, you will actually get your partner’s attention.
He’s going to see that instead of doing things that would make him want to pull away, you’re doing things that he’d actually want to be a part of. If you’re familiar with our philosophy then you know that we always talk about how important it is to inspire your significant other. You want them to look at your life and think, “Wow! I really want to be a part of that.”
So that can be applied to this type of situation as well. Instead of pressuring him to spend more time with you, inspire him to want to partake in all the interesting things you’ve got going on in your life.
Plus, the more time you spend doing things on your own, the more things you’ll be able to talk about when you’re with your boyfriend again. It helps you to feel more fulfilled in your own life and it allows you to bring more into the relationship as well. It’s a win win!