When it comes to learning how to get him to commit, there are a couple of fundamental tools that are going to make all the difference.
I know that when you’ve developed feelings for someone, it can be easy to feel like you’re investing more into this relationship than he is, but I am here to tell you that there are solutions available to you. You can make him commit by modifying your approach with the techniques that we will be explaining in today’s article, and you will feel a huge shift in the dynamic between you and this man.
Getting a man to commit isn’t as hard as it might seem to you right now when you understand the basics of how the male mind works. In today’s article, I will be going over how to get him to commit, but I am also going to talk to you a bit about reverse psychology.
To be clear, I am not going to teach you how to play mind games with this man. I am going to explain how a man’s mind works so that you can steer clear of doing things that will push him further away, and adapt your approach so that you can attract him like never before.
By the time you reach the end of this article, you’re going to know exactly what you need to do in order to make this man commit to you, treasure you, and be excited about building a relationship with you! So let’s dive right in, shall we?
All of the advice you’re going to find in this article is based on one, very simple principle. If this is not understood and implemented into the way that you approach the situation, it’s going to be much harder to get the results you want.
You have probably heard this concept before but I want to hammer in the importance of it. Men are attracted to a challenge. All human beings become disinterested in things that are readily available to them.
If you feel like something is being handed to you on a silver platter, it becomes dangerously easy to take it for granted. But if you have had to work hard for something and the process has been very exciting, you’re going to treasure it way more. You’re going to fight to keep it, right?
This is what we need to keep in mind when it comes to men and commitment. If you want to get him to commit, you are going to have to make sure that he sees you as an exciting challenge; not like something that is easy to take for granted.
This is something that I see the majority of my clients struggle with, and with good reason! Our society teaches us that if you want to receive more love, then you have to give more love. Sadly, this is the type of thing that will make a man take you for granted and not commit.
So first things first. If you know that you’ve been handing everything to this man on a silver platter and he hasn’t been committing, then we need to make some changes.
Even if you’re thinking, “I love this man and I know he loves me,” if he isn’t committing to a relationship with you it means that he’s been able to take you for granted and assume that he doesn’t need to do much and you’ll still be around.
This reminds me of a client that I was working with not too long ago. Aisling came to me because she had been dating a guy for a few months and she wanted to know how to get him to commit to a relationship. Things had been going well but whenever she would bring up making things official, he would shrug it off.
He wasn’t cruel about it, but he would never give her a concrete answer. It made her feel frustrated and she didn’t know how to handle the situation. I remember her saying, “I don’t really understand, because I’ve been doing all the things that I would love for someone to do for me.
All I do is show him love so I don’t get why he doesn’t want to take the next step. He obviously likes me, but how do you get him to commit to an exclusive relationship?”
The thing is, boundaries need to be set because a man is far less likely to commit to a relationship if he feels like he can have all the elements of a relationship without needing to label it.
So if you’re at this man’s beck and call, if you’re giving him everything he wants whenever he wants it (and I’m talking about your time, your attention, sex, etc.) then why would he feel like he needs to work harder to attract you and commit to you?
He’s already getting everything he wants. This means that we need to change your mindset. When people come to me asking for help with this situation, I tell them that the way you approach this situation in your mind will dictate a great deal. Let me explain.
As of now, you’re wondering “How can I get him to commit,” or “What would be the best way to get a man to commit to me…” But by asking yourself what you need to do, you’re putting him on a pedestal.
The truth is that there is only room for one person on the pedestal and it should be you. If you’re wracking your brain on what you need to do to make him want you more, you’re doing yourself a disservice and you’re putting yourself in the weaker position.
To make a man commit, he needs to see you as a prize, as an exciting challenge. And this is where my first piece of advice comes into play. From this moment on, we need to train your mind to think about the situation in a new way.
The next time you think, “How do I make him commit and how can I make him want me more,” replace the thought with: “This guy needs to fight for me“.
The more you do this, the more natural it will begin to feel, and you will notice that you will shift your approach. You will naturally put some space between you and shift your focus to making your life better than ever, and the combination of these things will catch his attention.
He’ll know when he’s been taken off that pedestal and then guess what happens. You become the exciting challenge!
When a man knows that he is no longer the center of your universe and you’re actively working on becoming the new and improved version of yourself, he’s going to want to fight for you and show you that he’s willing to commit.
I’ll expand on this in a moment, but if there is one thing that you take from this article, let it be this. YOU must be the prize; not him.
This will benefit you in your love life, and it will spark this man’s attention and make him change his approach to you.
Now let’s get into the specifics of what makes a man commit. The very first thing that we need to keep in mind might sound very obvious to you, but you’d be surprised at how many people don’t prioritize this.
Happiness! If you want him to commit, he needs to feel good around you and associate you with fun and excitement. If you’re constantly asking him to commit, he’s going to feel pressured and this is one of the things that pushes a man away.
A man will commit to you when it feels like the idea coming from him; not when he feels like he’s being pressured to do so. So we need to make sure that this guy experiences new emotions, and this is why we often encourage our clients to come up with one new activity to share with their significant other each week. It can be a new activity, a new restaurant, a new game, a new place to have a date…
It doesn’t need to be over the top, it just needs to be something new that feels fresh. The more you experience happiness, fun, and positivity together, the more he’s going to associate you with these emotions. This is what a man wants to feel if he’s going to commit to a relationship.
It’s interesting to note that we often take love and attraction for granted and assume that once it’s established, we don’t have to work to preserve or strengthen it anymore. This is why we see so many relationships fall apart. So think about this relationship as a garden.
It’s going to start small but you need to water it and nurture it if you want it to grow into something strong, and not wilt.
The next tip I have for you when you want to know how to make him commit has to do with keeping yourself on that pedestal. As I was saying, men need to see you as a challenge and as a prize, so if you want him to commit, he needs to feel like he has to fight for you.
To do this, pull back a little. Make sure it’s him who reaches out to you first, texts you first, calls you first, makes plans with you first… Human beings operate through habit, so the more he does this, the more natural it is going to feel for him. Over time, it will feel natural for him to commit to you.
Simultaneously, you need to be working on becoming the best version of yourself. Not only will this improve your personal life, but it will also make him see you in a new light. People are attracted to happy people who are building the lives of their dreams.
All too often, I see people lose track of their personal lives when they get in a relationship because their significant other becomes the center of their universe. The relationship then suffers because the other person doesn’t recognize the person they were attracted to at the beginning, and then everything becomes unbalanced.
So if you really want to know how to get any guy to commit, become the new and improved version of the woman he fell for when he first met you!
Another thing to keep in mind when you’re thinking about getting a guy to commit to a relationship is the importance of understanding him better than anyone else. If he realizes that you understand him, know what he truly wants and needs, you’re going to stand out in his mind. Just don’t base everything off of his words…
Let me explain. Human beings don’t know what they want until they experience it. Think about it this way, did you know what your favorite food was before you tasted it? So you need to create something in his life that will help him discover what he loves and what he wants more of.
This is where all those new activities I was talking about come in handy. If this guy can discover new things about himself with you, he is going to commit. So it’s all about having a vision. Find out where he sees himself in ten or twenty years.
If you can share the same vision and make him understand that you’re both working towards the same goals and that you can accomplish the same things, it will create a stronger bond. The stronger the bond, the more likely he will be to commit to you.
As this article comes to a close, I want to leave you with one more powerful tip for getting your guy to commit. If you’re familiar with our philosophy then you may have heard us talk a bit about reverse psychology. Now, this has nothing to do with mind games.
It’s all about changing your approach. If you know in your heart of hearts that you’re idolizing this guy and the thought of losing him makes you panic, something needs to change. Again, this puts you in the weaker position so if you want him to commit, you need to change the dynamic.
In general, if a guy isn’t committing to you, it’s because it’s easy for him not to. I know that sucks to read, but it is our goal to be fully transparent with you so that you can get a thorough analysis of the situation. It’s the only way to offer you concrete results.
The reverse psychology I am talking about isn’t for him, it’s for you! From here on out, tell yourself that this man needs to fight for you, this man needs to show you that he’s worth your time, and this man needs to attract you.
You will no longer be bending over backward to make him commit to you. Instead, you will work on making yourself happy by becoming the 2.0 version of yourself and by creating the life you have always wanted for yourself.
He won’t have the opportunity to take you for granted because he’ll be too busy being attracted to the way you’re living yourself, and how you’ve taken him off that pedestal. You will be the effortlessly become challenge that he wanted.
The surprising secrets of happy couples and flourishing relationships!
As you have come to understand, it’s all about getting him to associate you with positivity and an exciting challenge.
Attraction is a fascinating thing, and if you want to take it a step further, I highly recommend downloading the product we’ve created on mastering attraction. To access it, all you have to do is click here. It contains much more detailed tools and techniques that I did not have the time to go over in this article.
As always, we are here to help so don’t hesitate to reach out. If you have questions or would like a customized action plan that is tailor-made to fit your specific situation, just click here to work with us.
I sincerely wish you all the very best in life and love.
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6 Responses
Adrian I just want to thank you for your work creating this context on how to be happily committed. I have been on a self realizing journey for about a year and your content has given me hope and empowered me with the confidence that I can create the loving committed relationship that I deserve. I can have compassion for myself and my husband because I didn’t know these simple tools. Great work excited to have found your company.
Hi Mariela, thank you for taking the time to write this comment. We are so very happy to have you with us! Wishing you all the best.
Hi!
I have a question… There’s this guy I started seeing about a year and a half ago… I’ve known him before but never talked to him since we randomly started talking on facebook and he asked me out. We had a nice lunch and continued to see each other for coffee or a night out with friends. I did like him but wasn’t sure what was going in his nor in my head. I was a bit caught up in the past because of this other guy who I thought was the one for a really long time (later I discovered he was a total womanizer and was quite hurt and felt naive). I felt confused and when the I was seeing started to come closer and closer I was affraid that he only wanted to get physical and I pushed him away. When we were sort of seeing eachother he was sending me messages quite frequently and after that he stopped and I started to miss it and his company… We saw eachother in the club sometimes and had a thing then sort of wanted to make eachother a bit jellous by dancing with others and then said a few things we didn’t really mean. Since then we talk every now and then, we met for coffee a couple of times and I went for a visit to his place. But we never talk about what this is/isn’t… We talk about random stuff, life, our families… None of us has ever been in a relationship and maybe we’re both affraid. Although now I think I’m ready but don’t know about him… He got a job before the quarantine and has to finish his masters degree and I know he has a lot going on… I hate being the one all the time to reach out to him… We meet sometimes but he also says he has a lot of going on, he also started to exercise A LOT and has little time (so he says)… I don’t know what to do. This has been bothering me for a while and I also have to deal with my diploma but cannot work because all I can think of is him and how nice, sweet, patient he was with me… I remember once after lunch we were walking around and he wanted to hold me and I didn’t feel like it… now I would give anything for that. Also once he drunk texted me he liked me and I sort of didn’t respond on that correctly I just said he’s ok to go out with… I regret acting the way I did but I am also affraid to tell him how I feel because I don’t want to push him away. I have no idea what to do… Can you please give me some advice?
PS sorry for the whole essay :$
Lots of love xo
Hi Nicole, if this man is going to commit to you, he needs to view you as an exciting challenge. Focusing on accomplishing your goals like your diploma will make him realize that you’ve taken him off the pedestal, and will make you more attractive to him. Remember, men are hunters and are excited by the chase. The chase period must last as long as possible, and this will make him more inclined to commit!
I’m deeply in love with a 32 year old separated man and he loves me too.But he isn’t ready for any sort of relationship or commitments at the moment. He clearly specifies to me that “he doesn’t want any girl or relationship in his life for atleast 2 more years and wants to live life on his own terms. I had constantly pressurized and pestered him with the thoughts of commitment by texting and calling him close like an insane person . Now,he is pulling me away and isn’t interested anymore but he really adores and still takes care of me and my personal family problems . What should I do?? Moreover there is a huge difference, he doesn’t want a long distance relationship in his life as well .Moreover we both are moving to different countries but I love him madly. What should I do to make him commit and get his attention back ?
Hi!
I hope you can give me some advice. I been seeing this guy for about 1yr and 7months but he won’t commit to a serious relationship with me even though we do a lot of things like a couple, I have meet his family, friends, coworkers and anyone in his inner circle. Everyone who knows about me wants us to be an official couple but he still doesn’t want to even put a label on me. I cry every day because he has disrespected me twice and I have forgiven him. Once with a random girl in Vegas and the second with his toxic ex. You see we meet when I used to work at his job (he is a dog Groomer). I started to have a crush on him and I worked hard to get his attention, I also forgot… I did stole him away from his ex but she is very toxic and a psycho. She doesn’t deserve him at all. He tries hard to better himself and she always belittles him, possessive, controlling and has a bad temper. She has 6 criminal records, 4 DUI/car accidents and 2 restraining orders. When she found out of course they broke up and I was happy and he was happy because the toxic relationship was over and I step in to give him the love and care he always deserves. Everything went well we would do things a couple I meet his family. Then 5months in I found out he sleep with a girl in Vegas and so I confronted him but he said he didn’t care because we were not in a relationship. Finally he apologized and he actually started to get better and I even started living with him for 6months before he said he wanted some space and so I went back home. During that time he mentioned that he and his ex were talking again but to plan a birthday party for their boss ( yes they still work together). He talk to me about it and assured me that it was just for that. I believe him because we were building trust again but eventually he keep getting distant and distant. All our conversation and calls stopped, I found out he hooked up with his ex again and now they were calling each other on the phone even when I was hanging out with him. I confronted him about it again and told him why is he so fixed on her. He said he doesn’t love her but that he doesn’t love me either and that one reason he can’t have a relationship with me is because he is not used to the my Love. A lot of his family and who’ve told me that his previous relationship have all been a bad experience from him and that he is damaged. I don’t know how I can show him that I am totally different from every girl he has dated, I even beg him to give me a chance but he still doesn’t want to have relationship with me. He has mentioned many times that he cares about me and that he doesn’t want me out of his life, we even have talk about having a family together. but ever since the hook up with his ex, he had become extremely distant. he never answers my call or my texts, he will take days to answer just for 20min messages talk. I am crying every day because I can express my feelings in fear of him making me feel like I am clinging. I have respected all of his feelings of space and alone time. I fear that he is using psychology to make me pull away and to give up. I have also tried to tell him to stoped talking to his ex and that she is just being possessive but he just stays quiet and doesn’t even listen to me. She has don’t him more wrong then anything. She has cheated and even pretended she was pregnant. I don’t understand why that I am know I am great person can give me a chance. How can I make him see that will never do anything that his previous relationship did to him. It’s been over a year that I been seeing him/date him. We spend holidays together he even has said he has a surprise plan for me but it’s taking him a long time because In his words “is not a cheap surprise”. My own family, friends and coworkers tell me to leave him and find someone better and not settle for less. I feel like if I do try to find someone he would not even cared. I want to fight for him and I know he would be a great family man. I hope you can help me. Thank you.