My wife is giving up on our marriage: How do I save it?!
When you are in a situation where you realize that you are the only one who is still fighting for your marriage, it becomes incredibly difficult to find solutions and stay motivated. Here at Happily Committed, this is one of the most common issues we encounter, so it is safe to say that you have come to the right place.
With over 20 years of shared experience, we have combined all of our knowledge to create this platform designed to help people coach themselves through whatever hardships they are facing in their love lives.
In today’s article, I want to go over what to do when you’ve found yourself thinking, “My wife is giving up on our marriage.” I am going to talk about the dynamics of trying to save a marriage alone, and what you can do to set yourself up for success. I know how challenging this period is for you, and I want you to know that you are not alone.
We are here to help guide you every step of the way. So, let’s dive right in!
My wife is giving up on our marriage: Can I save it alone?
When someone comes to me asking, “Can I save this marriage alone,” I always give them the truth. Good news, the answer is YES! Even if you are currently thinking, “My wife is giving up on our marriage,” you can save it alone. I know this because I help people do this every single day. One spouse can save a marriage because you have the ability to inspire your wife to see you in a new light. Because of this, you are in control of way more than you might realize.
That said, you cannot change your partner. You can’t change their actions, but you CAN change yourself and in turn, inspire your partner to see and approach you in a new way. This is huge.
When I am coaching people all over the world, I see so many people take control of the situation and set the marriage out on a much brighter path because they had the right mindset, the right approach, and the right actions. I am actually thrilled that you found this article because I am going to share these tips and tools with you and set you up for success.
If you want to save this marriage that your wife is giving up on, you just need to focus on the things that you can control. I know how discouraged you may feel right now, but believe me, things aren’t going to stay this way. Now is the time to become your best self. What it all boils down to is very simple.
We need your wife to see you as the new and improved version of the man she fell in love with in the first place. This is what will make you irresistible to her, and when the two of you start to recreate your bond, it will become infinitely easier to operate as a team and create solutions for the issues that your marriage is facing.
So how do you do this exactly? I’m glad you asked! We have created countless videos on the topic on our YouTube Channels, we have written many articles on the subject, including this mega article on how to save a marriage.
We have also recently come out with a program designed to teach you how to bring attraction back into your relationship like never before. It’s honestly a goldmine of information, and all you have to do is click here to access it.
What to do when your spouse gives up on your marriage!
What I want to stress is the fact that you do not need to feel hopeless. Our entire philosophy is based on the principal of unity and helping people figure this out. Something that I like to remind my clients of is that very often, situations like this are huge blessings in disguise and they can be the catalyst for very positive changes.
I know that it may not feel like that right now, but very often, a couple needs to go through a very challenging period in order to set out on a new path. In essence, it is the electroshock that a couple needs in order to highlight what’s going wrong, and what needs to change. When a person realizes that they are about to lose the one they love, they will begin to take action. Fortunately, this is where you are at right now. Your wife will get there too, trust me.
So, let’s take a look at what needs to happen now!
When your wife is giving up on your marriage, the answer often lies in attraction. We need to zero in on the way that you are presenting yourself to her. do you have the confidence and the sense of wellbeing that are necessary to attract your wife back to you? If not, this is the first thing we need to work on.
I encourage you to take a look at where you can start making some improvements in your personal life. Whether it is spending more time at the gym, devoting more time to accomplishing your personal and professional goals, stepping out of your comfort zone, or doing things that you’ve always wanted to try, the better you feel in your life, the more attracted to you your wife will be.
We need her to gravitate back towards you, and this happens by feeling proud of what you bring to the table. I know that this may sound counterintuitive right now because you probably feel like you should be talking to her and expressing how much you care about her… But keep in mind that we need to lay a solid foundation for restoring your marriage.
This entails practicing empathy and being able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. What is it that makes her tick? Communication is your biggest ally here. I see so many couples that struggle with communication and this creates a huge rift in their relationship. For this reason, I often suggest that clients use a technique called mirroring. It is incredibly simple and yet, incredibly effective. The point of it is to make sure that you understand what your partner is saying to you and to make sure that she knows that she’s getting through to you.
When you mirror, you basically repeat what your wife expressed to you back to her. For example, “Okay, so what you’re saying is that you would like us to spend more quality time together? This way, she can confirm that you’ve understood what she is trying to say and she can feel heard. One of the biggest problems I see in marriages that are falling apart is that the two people aren’t talking to communicate; they’re talking to get their own point across. As you can imagine, this only makes things worse.
So my advice to you is this: Make sure your partner feels heard and understood, even if it means you must hear a bit of criticism. By accepting her frustration, you can determine the ways in which you can fix the issues and ease her frustration, and consequently save your relationship.
Consistency when your wife is giving up on marriage
When it comes to fixing a marriage, especially when your wife is giving up on marriage, consistency is credibility. If you want to save your marriage when your wife is not trying anymore, it’s important to know that every change you decide to implement for the sake of saving the relationship must STICK AROUND.
You must prove your changes are consistent so your wife can believe that they will be permanent. Without this crucial element, it will be very challenging for your wife to restore her faith in the relationship, and sadly, this is something that I see all the time.
I cannot tell you how detrimental empty promises are. If you keep promising your wife that you’re going to change but you never do, she’s going to lose faith in the relationship and she’s going to lose faith in you as a partner. As you begin putting the pieces back together, you must absolutely be consistent with your actions.
To dive deeper into the topic, I highly recommend reading this article on rebuilding communication in your marriage, or this article on how to be a romantic partner.
Remember, you have to work on becoming the best version of yourself so that you can attract your wife back into your arms, and then you two can work as a team to define solutions to the issues your marriage was facing. Communication, sharing activities, trying new things together and
As I said above, this can be an incredible blessing in disguise. Sometimes we need to be woken up and snapped out of it so that we can make some changes that will finally let us enjoy the love lives of our dreams. Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your relationship in a positive and productive way. It would be our pleasure to work with you.
I wish you the very best in life and love,
Your coach when your wife is giving up on the marriage,