If you’re familiar with our philosophy and our website, then you know how often we stress the importance of never being needy or clingy when you want a person to commit and invest in developing a relationship with you. But why is this so important? What makes a person want to commit when you pull away, and does this mean that you have to play games? A lot of people respond saying that they don’t want to play a role when I tell them about this concept, but I can confidently tell you that this is not about playing games.
There is a specific way to really create a shift in the dynamic between you and this man so that you can make him crave your attention, and it’s not as tricky as it might seem. So in today’s article I want to teach you how to get him to commit by pulling away so that you can begin to build a platform for a very happy future with the man you want!
Every relationship will have a push/pull element, and if you can master this, you can put all the odds in your favor. So let’s go over how exactly to harness the power of the push/pull method so that you can make this guy want to commit to you once and for all!
Can you actually get him to commit by pulling away?
I was recently explaining this technique to one of my clients recently and I remember the look on Regina’s face.
“So you want me to stop talking to the guy that I’m trying to date…? Wait, what good would that do?”
Sure, when you first hear about the concept it might sound a bit strange to you, but the reason it works is actually quite simple.
Let’s go back to the example of my client, Regina. When she came to me a while back, she was complaining that no matter how much time she tried to spend with the man she had started seeing, all he would do is pull away. The closer she tried to get to him, the more he would pull away, and the more distant he would become.
She and I then began working together and over the course of a few months, not only did we identify that Regina was forcing Carter to abandon his independence, but we also zeroed in on the fact that she was demanding that he focus solely on their relationship.
So I asked Regina to start doing the exact opposite, i.e. pulling away.
I asked her to challenge herself to let him live his life, let him enjoy his interested and then we would see if gradually he would show more interest in her and in this relationship. Sure enough, he did! Once Regina started to grant him his freedom, spending time with her started to feel more fun.
He was given the opportunity to miss her and to crave her presence, and hanging out didn’t feel like a chore or an obligation anymore.
This is what completely changed the dynamic in their relationship and it’s all because she made it possible for him to see her in a different light.
The thing about human beings is that we are attracted to what is not readily available to us. The moment something becomes easy to take for granted, we stop valuing it.
Sadly, we see this very often in romantic relationships. Like I said above, every single relationship has a push and pull element, but if you’re constantly the one pushing, he’ll constantly be the one pulling away.
As frustrating as it might be at times, it’s important to note that there is a power play in relationships and if you want to know how to get him to commit, you have to remember that you shouldn’t be doing anything that would be consistently putting you in a position of weaker power.
So when he pulls away, the solution is to take a big step back and switch your focus. If you’re feeling that you might be struggling with a bit of insecurity in your relationship, we have a product that is specially designed to help you overcome it and find confidence.
When he pulls away, here’s what to do
It’s frustrating, I know. But you can make changes that will benefit the situation but more importantly, benefit your sense of wellbeing! Having serious feelings for someone who is pulling away or afraid of commitment can be really emotionally taxing, but the whole point of this article is to explain how to make this change.
So when it comes to what to do when he pulls away, the first thing to remember is that men, by nature, are hunters. They want to feel the pursuit and they want to experience a challenge. If something is handed to them on a silver platter, they lose interest.
This means that you need to regard yourself as The Prize. The moment you start to see yourself in this light, the entire dynamic shifts. Instead of feeling grateful that he’s graced you with his presence, know your worth and start acting like someone who deserves it. You’re not begging for attention, in fact, you’ve got plenty of other important things that you can fill your time with.
Now is the time to focus on really filling up your schedule with people and things that bring you joy. What are some projects you’ve been meaning to get around to? What friends or family members have you not seen in a while? Have you been making time for physical exercise?
A tool that we often give our clients has to do with setting short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals. For example, let’s think about your job. Where would you like to be two years from now?
In order to reach that goal, where would you need to be one year from now?
And six months from now?
So what can you start doing in the next two weeks to start to propel you towards where you need to be in six months?
Giving yourself goals and prioritizing them in your schedule is a fantastic way to take your focus off of this man who is pulling away, get busier, and start living a life that feels more attractive and inspiring.
This is why we always talk about how you can walk away to get him back. Men want to feel inspired, not clung to, they want to look at their girl and feel like they need to work to earn her attention. It’s the push and pull concept I was talking about above.
Why do guys pull away before they commit to a relationship?
It’s a very common phenomenon. Things seem to be developing easily and the connection between you feels natural and exciting, but then suddenly you start to realize that making him commit might actually be a lot harder than you thought it was going to be.
He dodges the words “relationship” and “couple” and you can tell that he’s been pulling away.
The thing to keep in mind is that men place a very high value on their independence, and they won’t give it up unless the situation feels like it’s going to be fun, challenging, and exciting. If he can associate you and the relationship with positive moments spent together, he will have a much easier time committing and investing himself.
On the other hand, if he sees this relationship as a source of pressure or as something that signifies the loss of his independence, the loss of his personal life, and the loss of positive moments, then he’s going to pull away.
Again, the key lies in focusing on yourself and making your life into something that anyone would be a fool to not want to be a part of. Happy people attract others like moths to a flame, so always prioritize your sense of wellbeing.
There are however a couple more things you can do to get him to commit to a serious relationship.
How to make him commit without pressure: Words vs Actions
You’ve definitely heard the saying before: Actions speak louder than words. So when a guy is pulling away from you, I want you to pay closer attention to his actions than his words. Words don’t carry much weight in this type of situation. It’s so easy for a guy to say that he wants and needs you, but then pull away when it actually comes to being in a relationship with you.
Again, men want a challenge. Men are hunters and when you’re waiting around for him, it slams on the brakes in the attraction process.
His words and his actions need to be the same if he’s going to be taking this relationship seriously. So in order to get him to want to invest like that, you’ve got to focus on becoming the best version of yourself, give him space, and focus on YOU.
How to make him realize he needs you: Controlling your emotions
When you’re interacting with this man, it’s important to ensure that you’re presenting yourself in the best light. What does this mean?
Well there are two things. First, pay attention to your body language. If you’re talking to him with your shoulders slumped, your arms crossed, and you’re staring at the floor, he’s going to sense that you’re not confident and you’re not exuding any positive energy. Similarly, your tone of voice is going to convey quite a bit as well.
Men can sense when you’re feeling insecure or hesitant, so always speak clearly and assertively, smile, look him directly in the eye, stand up straight and be confident in who you are and what you bring to the table.
Enjoy the present moment!
A guy who can’t commit is always looking for new things. He wants to enjoy the present moment and be happy, and if you can stand out from the crowd, you can put the odds in your favor.
But if you’re like everyone else, if you suggest doing the same things all the time, if you propose the same kind of dates that any other girl would propose, if you’re not confident and if the life you’re living does not inspire him, he’s not going to choose you.
So set some boundaries, don’t keep giving if you’re not receiving the same in return, and be active! You know what you want, what you’re worth, and now he needs to fight for you. Focus on having fun together.
I walked away from him, will he come back? YES!
The moment you take this guy off that pedestal, he’ll take notice. It’s too easy for a guy to get comfortable and take you for granted if you’re readily available all the time, if you’re bending over backwards for him, and if you make it blatantly obvious that you want to be with him.
Since that has not worked and you need to figure out how to make him commit by pulling away, remember what we went over in this article:
There is a power play and a push/pull element in every relationship: Don’t allow yourself to be in a position of weakness.
The key to attracting a man and making him want to commit to you is to live a life that inspires and excites him.
Make sure that his words match his actions, and that’s when you’ll know that he’s serious about you.
Control your emotions, reactions, and the way that you know your worth.
Enjoy the present moment and stand out from the crowd!
I know that each situation is unique and it’s hard to figure out how to pull away from a guy you love, but we are here to help. These are essential elements of attraction and if you want to dive deeper, check out our new product designed to teach you how to boost attraction between you and the one you love like never before. As a team of dedicated love and relationship coaches, we can help you transform this budding relationship and lay out a foundation that will withstand the test of time. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me or a member of my team by clicking here. Join the Happily Committed Project and transform this relationship in a meaningful and dignified way!
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know how to get him to commit by pulling away