As your relationship with the one you love develops, there are certain steps that take place, and these steps indicate that things are becoming more serious and that you’re really investing in this relationship. For example and in no particular order, at some point you two will be moving in together, for many people, they’ll get engaged, they’ll have children, perhaps they’ll buy a house together… And one of these important steps is meeting the parents. So this begs the question of when to meet the parents?
When is it time to invite each other into your personal life on such a meaningful level? There are a lot of people who come to me for advice as their relationships with their significant others begin to develop, and they want to know when it’s time for these big steps.
They are often impatient to meet their boyfriend or girlfriend’s parents because they know that it means that things are becoming more serious, but it’s very important to gauge whether or not the time for that has come yet.
That is why I wanted to write this article on when to meet your partner’s parents. I am going to go over some of the things to bear in mind and how to know when it’s time!
There are many delicate elements in relationships so it’s very important to be aware of timing and making sure that you’re on the same page as your significant other. But you’re already on the right track because you sought out this article, so let’s get started!
The first thing I want to bring your attention to is the fact that not everyone is ready for big steps at the same exact time, so it’s going to be very important to gauge whether or not you and your partner are on the same page.
The right time to meet the parents can vary from culture to culture, so I encourage you to communicate openly with your partner about their background and culture. Ask him or her about what their expectations with family are so that you can get a better idea of when introducing the relationship to each of your families will be important and appropriate.
For some families, relationships are more of a casual thing and they don’t place pressure on their children to prioritize marriage and longterm commitment, but for other families, they might view relationships as the step right before marriage.
Being aware of your significant other’s background will help you to gauge what their family’s expectations and dynamics are, and this will give you a better idea of when to introduce your relationship to them.
One thing that I often notice is that people inadvertently expect their partner’s family to be similar to their own family. Some people are tremendously close with their parents and that’s OK, but other people aren’t that close to their families, and that’s OK too.
Beware of placing unnecessary pressure on your boyfriend or girlfriend when it comes to meeting their parents. It really needs to feel like the right move for both of you. A person’s relationship with their family is very personal, and if they feel pressured by their significant other to be introduced to them, tensions can easily arise.
I encourage you to first gather information on your significant other’s relationship with their parents, their culture and background, and what their expectations in regards to introducing this relationship to their family is.
Now I know this comes as no news to you, but meeting your partner’s family is a wonderful thing. Not only is it great for your relationship in that it solidifies the idea that things are getting even more serious between you, and it can also serve as a powerful tool to strengthen your bond in other ways.
When you meet the parents of the person you love, you’re going to be introduced to a whole new dimension to them. You will see how he or she interacts in family settings, and you can gather a clearer understanding of the values your partner was raised with.
You can get some insight into how they interact with their family members and what feels natural and respectful to them, and this can actually help you to determine whether or not this person is the right one for you!
In addition to this, meeting YOU is going to give your partner’s parents the opportunity to learn so much about their child. So meeting the parents (and finding the right time to meet the parents) is something that is helpful to both you two and to the parents.
As I’ve been saying, this is an important step in any relationship. Meeting the parents of the person you love, or the person you love meeting your parents is something that can lead to even more closeness and mutual understanding in your relationship. On top of that, it is a gesture that for many people signifies that things are getting even more serious.
There are a couple things to keep in mind when you’re going to meet your boyfriend or girlfriend’s parents.
First of all, don’t let this be something that stresses you out! It is absolutely fantastic to meet the parents. They can serve as wonderful examples of how your boyfriend or girlfriend will be later on down the line. Like I said, this can be a very eye-opening experience and can help you to see deeper into who they are now and how they will become.
So get excited about going to meet the parents! Approach the situation not by assuming that all families are the same and that it’s going to be the same as if you were going to go see your own parents, but with curiosity! This is a new dimension to your partner and your relationship that is very exciting, so it’s definitely something that you can feel good about.
Don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect, just be on your best behavior and know that you’re presenting your best self. Keep in mind that you are also a representation of your partner to his or her parents and family. By the way, if you feel that you’re struggling with a lack of confidence that is making this whole thing feel even more overwhelming, I encourage you to check out our product designed to help you overcome insecurity once and for all. To access it, all you have to do is click here.
Be open and understanding, make sure that you’re being respectful, and be kind and considerate. If you’re nervous, don’t try to overcompensate by dominating the conversation or being abrasive. I know someone who actually had a pretty funny story that could have gone very, very wrong. Richard was going to meet his girlfriend Nancy’s parents for the first time a couple months ago. He was so eager to impress them that he wound up feeling quite nervous the day of.
When the evening rolled around and they were getting ready to go to Nancy’s parents’ house so that they could finally introduce them to Richard, his palms were so sweaty and he was feeling so nervous that he decided to just make a little cocktail to take the edge off before they went over there… It calmed him down a little so he decided to make a second one.
I think you know where this is going.
Richard and Nancy arrived at her parents’ house, and for a while he was fine. Her parents were lovely, he remembers being slightly intimidated by her dad, but he felt that he was handling the situation pretty well. He was relaxed, he was being charming… Then there were some cocktails being served before dinner, and on Richard’s empty stomach and in addition to the two whiskey sours that he had before arriving, you can imagine that they hit him just a little bit harder than everyone else. And by “hit him a little bit harder,” I mean that by the time it was time to sit down for dinner, Richard decided to share that he had always wanted to take up opera and wanted to know Nancy’s dad’s opinion of his voice.
You can imagine the scene. The four of them sitting at a table, all eyes on Richard. He asked them to turn off the music so that he could “perform,” post-cocktail #4 glass of wine in hand, and he began to serenade Nancy’s father in the silent dining room.
He says he can still remember the horror on Nancy’s face, until her dad erupted in riotous laughter. Fortunately for Richard, the evening served as a hilarious icebreaker for this family and they still laugh about That Night, but I would advise you to be careful with this type of thing!
It worked out in Richard’s favor because he was told that the operatic route might not be the right one for him and he’s got some silly memories to share with Nancy’s family, but I would definitely warn you against getting plastered the first time you meet your partner’s mother and father!
What it all boils down to is this: You and your significant other will need to talk about what your expectations are regarding meeting the parents, and you’ll have to discuss when the time feels right. If you’re ready to introduce your significant other to your family, you can let them know and ask if they’re ready or not. That said, be very careful to not force them into it. As I said, people have different family dynamics and your partner might not be as close to their parents as you are to yours, or vice versa.
If your significant other is not ready to meet your parents or introduce you to theirs, you don’t want to pressure them because this can have an adverse effect on your relationship.
Make sure that you are respecting both of your wishes when it comes to when to meet the parents. Factor in both of your backgrounds, cultures, wants and expectations, and when you do meet your significant other’s parents, make sure that you’re on your best behavior.
Always remember that you’re a representation of their child to them, so always put your best foot forward. You’re going to learn a lot about your partner when you meet their parents, and his or her parents will learn a lot about them.
At the end of the day, meeting the parents of the person you love is a wonderful thing, so you just want to make sure that the timing is right. If you’re unsure about when that would be for you or if you’d like to learn more tools that will help you to develop better communication or complicity between you and your significant other, don’t hesitate to reach out to me or a member of my team by clicking here.
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I sincerely wish you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to know when to meet the parents
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